My Teen Daughter Is In Boarding School And It's Great... (I'm almost ashamed to say).

[Bathsheba]

When I was 15yo my stepfather always threatened to send me to boarding school... until I said that I wanted to go... then he stopped.

When I was in my early 20's and starting to make up my mind about where i stand on various parenting issues I decided that i would never send my child to boarding school. I thought that it was a cop out and wrong for them to be so distant from your sphere of influence and protection.

Well as is always the way, every notion i have about parenting from those days has been challenged... it started when i swore i would never become a "boring" friend who never wanted to go out and party just because i had kids... of course never factored in the degree of tiredness i would feel so that was the first thing to fly out the window!

And now my ideas on boarding school have been challenged. We basically sent our DD to an interstate boarding school because of many unsafe decsions she was making here in melbourne. The worst of which was chronic night escapes and roaming all over melbourne at night. The second was a very worrying relationship with a boyfriend (known to police, introduced her to drugs etc... long story... all in another thread.)

So.. it's going very well. She is loving it She has strict routines to abide by but she is adapting really well.

have to do the school run now but will be back to add...

[Rouge]

That is so awesome Bath You did such a wonderful thing, be proud xxx

[feeb]

I am glad to hear your DD is settling into her new school.

[Fleur]

Don't be ashamed! I love Panda to pieces, but there are many days where boarding school would be very tempting.
I'm so glad this is working out for all of you. It must be such a relief for you to know she's safe, and it's great to hear that she is adapting so well.

[BellyBelly]

I know of someone who went to boarding school and was very happy with the experience, has many lifelong friends and is very well mannered. You had a tough decision to make, and I am glad it's turned out well in the aftermath!

[Cupcake]

Thats awesome! Definately subscribing. My sister is a.. ahh 'troublesome' teen (just turned 13) might be something mum is interested in?

[Mum2SweetCs]

Bath, Im pretty sure it was a very hard decision to make being so far from the DD you love dearly.

Hearing that she is loving it there must be music to your ears! Glad it is turning out great and hopefully she has some time to reflect on how much stress she has caused her parents.

DH was sent away due to his bad habits/friends as well and had alot of reflection to do. Best things his parents ever did because he did alot of growing up during that time and was a changed man.

[Cocolove]

Its great she is loving it..sounds like you made the right choice hun.

I was looking at boarding schools the other day for when the kids are in high school but my cup of tea almost hit the computer screen when I seen the fees LOL

[didispunk]

Well done.. all kids are different...

Fantastic she is doing great!!

[AnyDream]

Well as a boarding school survivor, I can definitely say that I would contemplate it under the right (extreme) circumstances. I'm so glad to hear your DD is loving it, I hope she is able to thrive long term too.

It sounds like your DD was pretty much "out of your sphere of influence and protection" courtesy of the company she was keeping, so a very good idea IMO to make a clean break. I"m sure it wasn't an easy decision for you . Perhaps she will appreciate "home" more too when she returns, rather than taking it (tediously) for granted, kwim? It will be interesting to see whether she relates to you differently once she has spent a little more time outside the nest.

[jaspen]

Bath that is great that DD is returning to her old self and enjoying the experiences of the new school and in turn bringing you some ease and less worry. And you are so right there many things in life that we say - "oh no I'll never...." but when we actually grow and learn and experience life our ideas become open to change.

[Glamourcide]

Sweetie, I'm so, so, so glad to hear that it's all working out for you and DD It was a very tough, very heartbreaking decision to make and I know I probably didn't help... but as I said, all kids and situations are different and I'm pleased you stuck to your guns. You know your daughter best and I'm really happy for both of you that it's going well
You're a top mum!! DD will no doubt be very thankful to have had you during these difficult years when peer pressure and the rest can really take its toll on a kid... I hope she really grows to love her new school, forms lifelong friendships and uses what she's learned from this whole episode to her advantage later on!
xo

[Loula]

Great positive result xx

[PlonkeeMumma]

I'm glad it's working out so well for you and her. Under the circumstances it sounds like a great pro-active solution rather than getting no-where just trying to reason with a teenager as i know they're determined not to listen to adults when they know best (I was awful).

My hubby went to boarding school and although he had a few issues he looks back at it as a great experience having made lifelong friends and wouldn't be where he is today without having gone.

J x

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Hmmm, my mum was down on boarding schools: her little sister sent my cousin to one. So I grew up believing in "what's the point of having children to give them to others to look after."

Yeah well, can't be a SAHM so got used to that idea pretty quickly.

And, looking at it, boarding school was the best thing for my cousin. He's a great chap now. I wish I'd been to boarding school as a teen. Or my sister had. Or we both had gone to different ones. Far better going to boarding school for a bit than ending up disliking your mother!

I want DS to go to a boarding school, but one nearby so he comes home at night. Because of the way you meet so many people with so many backgrounds - who will be returning to those cultures so don't feel as if they have to lose them. Because of the opportunity to stay over if he needs to, for whatever reason (hmmm, that thought is putting me off more children!).

Sometimes people need to get away from everything. When you need to do that before you're an adult, boarding school can be the best thing that happens to you. I hope that's the case for your DD.

[fionas]

I didn't see your previous thread Bath (been slack at updating my Platinum and it was probably in that section) but good for you for trusting your instincts on this one. You were doing it with the best motivation, which wasn't to punish her but was to keep her safe AND to help her reach her potential. I'm sure you talked to her about it heaps and she understands that.

We basically had to threaten to kick DSD out before she 'got' it in terms of what was OK and what was not OK. Not my preferred parenting style, not something I did lightly but the circumstances warranted it IMO. So I totally understand that you were willing to try something that you never thought you would. No point being dogmatic for the sake of it. Like we always say, every situation is different.

So pleased for you and for DD that everything is working out. Sometimes it's just too hard for them to avoid temptation(s) themselves because of peer pressure or whatever, so we have to make it easier for them.

[Traveller]

It sounds to me like your DD is at boarding school because it was the best thing for her, and not because you couldn't be bothered to deal with her. The motivation behind the placement matters a lot in how she is likely to deal with it, I suspect. Well done on a tough decision made with love.

T
xx

[willow5]

LOL funny how sure we are of what kind of parent we think we're going to be...until we are one
I had an uncle who went to boarding school and loved it! So much that his 13yr old son has started at the same school this year and was very excited to do so.
You've done what you feel is best for your DD and it seems to have worked, Well done I would think it was a very hard decision to make, but it's proved to be the right one

My 13yr old brother has been refusing to go to school on and off for the past 12months and my dad's now looking into boarding school, although my brother is dead against it and they don't know how they'll get him there if he refuses to go