I dont know what im trying to do..lol

[Butterfly Child]

I don't no if I'm having a breakdown or something lol
but today I want to be at peace with everything and to try and be friends with xp, dd's dad when yesterday I hated his guts.. I've been texting him and really trying harder and asking if he wants me to send him some photos of dd and I just asked him if he has fb.. that there is heaps of photos of her there.. am I crazy??? its always been really small talk with him, we won't hear from him for weeks on end and then I'll get a text asking if he can see grace so I'm trying to make an effort for things to get better between us..I don't know really hay

He's started having unsupervised visits of dd (only 3 times so far).. and i guess i want for us to get along to have a good relationship.

yeh he's stupid a lot of the time still a little 'boy'.. BUT...there's always going to be apart of me that wishes.. (and i cant believe im saying this or acknowledging it myself) that still loves him and wishes he had chosen to stay with me and that he loved me enough too..(woah i can't believe I've said that ) part of me resents his choice and his actions even now.. his lack of responsibility and selfishness. hes getting a bit better but its like I'm trying to help him, I've always have even after everything..

Yesterday when he picked dd up it was the first time he'd taken her without his mum there too.. me and dp saw him from inside trying to put the carseat seatbelt on her , he must have been there for about 15 min trying to do it up..i felt terrible for him and went out and asked him if he needed any help and that it takes a while to get the hang of it..(trying to make him feel better)

so this is all a bit everywhere sorry just need to get it all out and make sense of what I'm trying to do

[C~Q]

SOunds to me like you're moving on. Like you're feeling sorry for him instead of loving him, it's easier to feel sorry for someone when you're more detatched from them and don't have those other confusing feelings hanging around.

I hope thats the case babe, sounds like your moving on to the next chaptor in your life x

[Lulu]

It's only natural to want to be on good terms with the person who is caring for your darling You will feel so much better in time when you can wave her off happily knowing she is going to have a lovely time with her dad.

Oh and the other part - it's also only natural to want an ex to either 1) have the words crappest life now they have left you or 2) come crawling back at some stage telling you that leaving was the worst thing they EVER did. That's the rules!

[Butterfly Child]

Thanks beautiful girls for your great advise

Things are really good with xp at the moment
he sent me a message on mothers day it was really sweet and meant alot and where communicating abit better which i think is great!
its nice to finally be at peace with everything n with him for a change ! fingers crossed it stays merry lol

[starangelk]

What a great situation - I love reading positive posts

[widdly]

Sounds like you and Grace's Dad are having a wonderfully good relationship, which is going to make Grace's life twice as good, well done to you

[kawazuki]

your not going crazy..

but dont get upset if it doesn't work

we tried this with DSS mum and its sadly not worked she would still rather blame us and play the you can doa ll the work game which we wont.

but it was good for a few months, she made regular contact etc. but thats all gone again now.

your being a very strong woman, and the way XP is responding, taking DD out without his mum, may be a sign he is ready to grow up and take responsibility and your openess is allowing him to take the baby steps he needs.