Ok, I am looking for lots of positive 2nd child experiences..with a small age gap...
It took DH and I a long time to conceive DS and we are so very happy right now and know that we want another child/children, so we have decided to TTC now...DS is 6 months old. I am a very open person (probably too much) so, if people have asked, I have told them we are TTC...all I am hearing is negative stuff....and I would just like to hear some positive stories.
We are thinking that it will take us a while to conceive so the gap will be around 2 years which is considered 'normal'. But, we have seriously thought about, what if it happens straight away?..and we are ok with that (check back with me in about 18months if it does happen )
DS is a happy bub and I am so loving being a mum. We have so much fun and every day I just can't believe how lucky I am. I was so sure we were doing the right thing but have heard so much negative talk this weekend (my own fault I know now....I should not be so honest) but I am starting to wonder if we are doing the right thing?
If you have a positive experience, I would love to hear it
I have 3, between #1 and #2 there is an 8 year gap between #2 and #3 there is a 17month gap.
You will hear lots of negitive talk...ppl used to always tell me horror stories about having 2 under 2.
Yes there have been hard times but Im loving it...i love seeing the way DD1 interacts with her baby sister its so cute and melts my heart.
I love the thought that DD's will be close in age growing up im looking forward to them being great friends and expecting the biggest fights too
Chick, just do what feels right for you. Age gaps are such a personal thing and I think it depends a lot on how your family functions as to how well you will cope with small gaps. Being flexible with feeding, sleeping etc is a must!! and there will always be moments where things seem a bit out of control, but if that's ok with you- then go for it!
I'm sure I wouldn't be as tired if there was a bigger age between our kids, but watching our two interact with them both being so young has been a complete joy to see over the past year and a half! Such treasured memories I wouldn't trade for anything!
I found the people that made the negative comments hadn't actually even had kids with the same age gap that mine were going to be! And the ones who did have kids with that age gap all said it was great and that it was alot easier than the larger age gap (which they had also experienced)...... I chose to listen to those people!
Goodluck!
It is a tough decision hun. It is especially hard when you don't know what will happen - how long will TTC take, etc. And at the end of the day I think there is no right answer - different things work best for different people, and sometimes things don't go to plan and you have to make the best of it - it can work out better that way anyway.
My boys are close - 19 months. To be totally honest, two under two was really hard, especially as DS2 had colic and was very hard work at first. It was probably really hard for at least the first 12 months. But now - it's great that they are so close. They get along well, they enjoy the same things, they entertain each other a lot etc. They are best friends and I love watching that. Also, DS1 was never jealous about DS2 and I think part of that was being so young. Would I change the gap - not for anything.
If this is what you want, go for it. There are pros and cons with every gap. But if it's hard at first it will probably pay off later and vice versa. And besides, no-one else has to walk in your shoes.
I love it and wouldn't have it any other way (in saying that, I can definitely see positives for both situations). My girls are just under 15 months apart. It was difficult and still is, but I think if you had a bigger age gap, it would still be difficult, just in different ways. Newborns are rarely easy!
As the girls get older though, it's getting so much easier. The only thing I find difficult now is the tantrums. Both of them are coming into the age where they both throw tantrums. That's fun when they do tandem tanties! Haha.
They both eat the same food now at the same time. They play with the same things. DD2 is a daredevil and so can do most of the things that DD1 can do at the park etc. So already at 2.5 and 1.5 they are playing together and having a blast. I love watching them together. They are constantly giving each other kisses and cuddles. They do fight a little bit when they won't share and I'm sure it's just the beginning (which is what people keep reminding me) but it doesn't phase me. It's all part of it.
I found out I was pregnant when DD1 was 6 months old. It was quite a scary thing for me even though we were totally certain that we wanted a small age gap. You will probably will go through a bit of anxiety throughout your pregnancy but once your second child arrives, you won't imagine life any other way. Overall, the small age gap is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Like you, I had everyone telling me that I was crazy, but those people that had children close together were the ones that reassured me that it was wonderful. If it's what you want, go for it! Good luck with TTC! xx
I too found it hard, particularly for the first 6 months, but if i could rewind time and do it all again i'd still have them close. The positives out weigh the hard work in my mind. No matter what you say to people they always have negative comments. If you said you were only having one child or a 10 year age gap people would have negative comments about that, water off a ducks back i say.
I am with everyone else here. It will be what it will be, and no matter what you have, there will always be those out there with all sorts of stories for you.
As for 2 under 2, I have that, my boys are 18m apart, and I planned it that way, (in fact I started TTC earlier, but my cycles took a bit to come back, so it took a bit of time)... I figured that I was already "up to my elbows" in nappies, mess, bottles, tanties etc that I may as well just keep going. And I went into it knowing that I would have a tough 6 months, and it has been. But it has also been rewarding too. As MR said, there is no jealousy with DS1 as he is too young to know differently. And DS2 has been a bit tricky, but has really just come along for the ride so to speak.
DS2 is now 5m and I feel like I am coming out of a fog. He is finally getting into his own rhythm, and things are getting a little more predictable in our lives. And DS1 is now willing him to be old enough to play.
I didnt tell people we were TTC, but after I was pg some people used to go "wow" and give a look, and I would just go OOPS and roll my eyes, and change the topic. I could not be bothered getting into it, as I was so comforatble with my decision, and I kind of made it into a personal joke with DH and I. Good luck with TTC this time. xo
To be honest I think there are challenges regardless of the age gap between children, every age gap is going to have it's challenges they just vary in what they are. My first 2 are only 18 months apart, and while yes it was difficult, like the others have said if I could go back in time I wouldnt change it. I think life with a NB in the house is difficult no matter how old your other children are. I think if you go into it with eyes wide open and lots of support around it will be fine. You have to do what is right for yourself and your family.
I love having 2 under 2! Sure there are hard times but they love each other and play for hours. Dd2 was home sick while dd1 was at daycare and she seemed to be bored she kept saying dd1s name and going to her room. It was very sweet I felt sad for her. They have similar routine which helps the eat and go to bed at nighttime at the same time. No 3 wasn't planned but I am happy to have another one so close. There is 20 months between 1 and 2 and will be about 18 this time.
I am another with a small gap between chidlren (just under 18 months gap). Like the others have said, it is hard having two babies - a lot of the advice on how to entertain #1 while feeding #2 just doesn't apply when the gap is so small. It is hard and tiring but would I change it - no way! Again, like others have said, the boys don't know life without eachother. Their hate and rage turns to love and giggles within seconds (then switches back again, which is aways funny to watch!), they play together, they love the same movie, share clothes and food, encourage eachother, sleep in the same room and fret if the other is not there (Ollie wakes in the middle of the night crying for "Ninnie", and when I threaten to leave a dawdling Ollie ibehind in the supermarket, Flynn begs me to wait for his brother).
Now all of that said I am looking forward to having a bigger gap with #3, but that is purely because when you have 2 so close in age you tend not to get that raputrous "bablylove" time with the newborn. You are so busy with two that (personally) I didn't "look" at Ollie enough as a baby. But that can happen at any age - I doubt any subsequent child gets the same attention as the first did as a newborn.
my two boys are 16 months apart. the first 4 months were the hardest of my whole life, but i can honestly say that it's the best thing i've ever done and i wouldn't change anything. they are so close to each other, i absolutely love it. like junglemum said, if i had my time again i would have the exact same gap.
I don't have my second bub in my arms yet but just wanted to say that I got the exact same as you when we told people we were pg again!
It really amazed me how many people either assumed it was a "whoops" - like my friend's mum who asked me if knew you could fall pg if you were still bf?? - or they asked us if it was planned! (Same thing, phrased a different way).
I basically started pre-empting people by saying "Yep, call us crazy but we figure we're so used to nappy changes, night waking and everything else like that, we figure we'll just keep going with it!"
I honestly do think it'd be harder to have a bigger gap - have baby #1 out of nappies, sleeping well, etc and then have to go back to it all! It'd be a shock!!
But as I said above - number 2 hasn't arrived yet and this opinion may very well change in about 2 months when I'm in the thick of it
My two babies are 18 months apart. I love the gap. It is hard at times, like when they are both sick and dh has had to help alot but I wouldn't change it for the world. The way they love each other and interacts each other makes it all worth it. There is 4 yrs between dsd and ds and I personally have found the 18 mth gap easier than the 4 yr gap. Ds has never been jealous of dd and they play really well. There will be 15 mth gap between dd and this bb and I'm really looking forward to having them all close together. I know what you mean about the negative stuff. With each kid you have, the more you get it . The next person who says something negative to me about having 3 kids or having 3 under 3 I'm going to scream at. Good luck TTC.
Thanks so much to all of you who have taken the time to reply. I really appreciate you all sharing your stories and you have helped me get rid of all the negativity I have heard recently and made me start to focus on the positives again.
Now I just we have an easier time TTC than last time and we can add to our little family soon
I loved it so much when I had Dudie and Mario that I went back and had an even closer age gap between mini me and tank.
Yeah its hard...hard when you dont have any support form family so make sure you have that.. but its so worthwhile though. I love that the kids not only have a brother or sister close in age to them, that they have a best friend at the same time.
I use to always get asked if dudie and mario were twins and I use to take offense to it..I now also get it with mini me and tank now and can laugh at it. Sad thing is...they DO look like twins
With dudie and mario we started trying when dudie was 6 months old...they are exactly 18 months apart
with mini me and tank we started trying when mini me was 4 months old and fell with twins but sadly lost then early....we were willing to wait 6 months but tank had other ideas. They are 16 months apart
Jed knows if I could we'd have more...and I couldnt stop at just one more I dont think ...cause Id need a close age gap again
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Positive 2nd child experiences...
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xx
- or they asked us if it was planned! (Same thing, phrased a different way).
. The next person who says something negative to me about having 3 kids or having 3 under 3 I'm going to scream at. Good luck TTC.
we have an easier time TTC than last time and we can add to our little family soon
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