What made you decide to add to your family if you thought you had finished at #3??

[Hannahbanana]

As the title suggests, Why did you go for #4.

I only ever planned to have 3 kids but I don't feel like our family is finished and from discussions with DH, I can probably convince him to go 1 more if I wanted......but I don't know if I really really do want to.

So what made you go again when you thought you had finished adding to your family??

[Arimeh]

I think it all comes down to whether you can dismiss your yearning for another one or not. If its on your mind 24/7 and driving you crazy - you probably should have another one.. LOL

Having just been through this decision making myself - I wish you all the best. When I was pregnant with Eden I swore black and blue that she would be my last.

And then she was born.. and I desperately wanted another one!!!!

Good luck mate

[Hannahbanana]

The need comes and goes Mel, and I know the longer I put the decision off the easier it will be not to have anymore (cos I don't want the gaps too big) then I might regret it later. So if I wait too long to decide I'll miss my window. It's a hard decision though especially now that our youngest is a week off being 1 and becoming more independant.

Do I tough it out for a couple more years or do I just say that's enough and enjoy the fact that we (I mean I) can do heaps more stuff with the other kids without having the restrictions of a newborn - baby................decisions decisions..........
If it was just #3 then I'd be going right now but 4 is just that bit tougher decision to make.

Anyone else have any words of wisdom as to why they went #4??

[Arimeh]

The need comes and goes Mel, and I know the longer I put the decision off the easier it will be not to have anymore (cos I don't want the gaps too big) then I might regret it later. So if I wait too long to decide I'll miss my window.

yup this was me too. My basic thinking is - would you regret having one or regret NOT having one. Answer is pretty clear for me on that one

[halltribe]

I think that the first 3 are the hardest and then gets easier from there. You have already done the ground work with the older kids so from number four they are growing up with the rules already set! A friend always said that 4 was the minimun number of kids to have as 1 is alone, 2 only have each other and fight, 3 there is always the odd one out but 4 just works great! I know this is just her opinion but I see her sense!

[~clover~]

A suprise
I was happy with 3. Still not convinced I need 4, but it's a bit late for that!!

[jaspen]

subscribing to watch the opinions as this is the place I am at - and I know the flack for what I want is going to be huge

[Hannahbanana]

A friend always said that 4 was the minimun number of kids to have as 1 is alone, 2 only have each other and fight, 3 there is always the odd one out but 4 just works great!

I like this thinking. Might procrastinate on it a bit I think!!

[megs]

Hi Hannahbanana,

I'm in your exactly situation right now, my little man has just turned one I I'm not sure that I want to be finished having babies. I would love one more and I think that it would suit our family better, DH isn't quite as convinced as me. I too will be interested to see the replies to this thread, I know my window of opportunity is pretty much the next 6 months as I too don't want a big age gap.

Sorry I couldn't help but just wanted you to know that I sympathise

[maz]

I never wanted children...had DS1 and knew instantly that I wanted another. Had DS2 and knew I didnt want anymore (due to health reasons)...then after having 3 m/c I knew number 3 was needed and DD was born.....when she was 3 months old the urge pulled at my ovaries and tubes like a shopper to a 50% of sale. I fell pg with twins which I m/c at 8 weeks.....then said no more trying for 6 months but DS3 had different plans...I had my tubes removed after his birth...and at 3 months that urge hit again. I hated myself for getting 'done' but looking now...at my family and the dynamics.....4 is perfect for us ..it makes us complete.

Dont get me wrong...I would never knock back another baby....but I think when seeing a nb doesnt pull at you, doesnt make you jealous that its not yourse...you know its a clear sign that you need to concentrate on the babies you have rather then should have.

[jaspen]

oh dear - by maz thoughts I'm definitely not done and may very well not be even after a 4th - I get immensely jealous of those with nb and want to be there again and again and again but after all c/s that isn't likely to happen. I do see a bit of left outness with three though and don't know whether its a 3 thing or just the ages we are moving through at the moment.

[Ilithyia]

I think it all comes down to whether you can dismiss your yearning for another one or not. If its on your mind 24/7 and driving you crazy - you probably should have another one.. LOL

Having just been through this decision making myself - I wish you all the best. When I was pregnant with Eden I swore black and blue that she would be my last.

And then she was born.. and I desperately wanted another one!!!!

Good luck mate

So does that mean we can expect to hear some exciting news in the near future Mel?


AFM - I always knew I wanted 4. I grew up in a family of 3 kids and didn't really like it. Plus I don't do uneven numbers. 2 isnt enough so 4 it is!!!

I would also contimplate 6 if we were financially stable and my body could handle it!

[Feijoa Mum]

My number three was an awful sickly baby. He had really bad silent reflux and despite trying different medications nothing helped.
He didnt grow well, he cried all the time and was constantly stuck to me as he needed to be upright to get any sleep.
I was done!!! He put me off babies full stop mine or anyone elses for ages!
However fast forward 5 years and he started school I started to get that twinge, then the urge then the full on I need one now, master Scout was made.
Seeing there is such a huge gap between number 3 and 4 (one month off 6 years) we decided that Scout needed a playmate to grow up with and hello Miss Peppar.

Now although I do feel somewhat done again I know I could have more. I really hate to think that Peppar is the last and im not going to do any of these milestones with another baby but I seriously could not face another pregnancy. If someone else would have them for me I would have 10!

[jaspen]

Sara - if you don't mind me asking - what didn't you like about three and what position were you in the family??

[Ilithyia]

Sara - if you don't mind me asking - what didn't you like about three and what position were you in the family??

Not at all....

I was the eldest.

My Sister is 4 1/2 years younger than me and my Brother is 9 years younger.

I guess for me I felt like I was always the 1 who was left out. Our Dad is my step-father and although he is my Dad and always will, I felt he made me feel like the outcast when my Sister was born.

And again I don't really like uneven numbers at all. I do feel with Children and uneven numbers, that 1 will be left out.

These are all my own personal beliefs and I believe everyone has the right to make a decision that is right for them!

[jaspen]

Sara - thanks for that - I like to hear peoples opinion as I was an only child so my ability to perceive family dynamics for siblings is a bit thwarted especially from a childs perspective.

[Ilithyia]

Sara - thanks for that - I like to hear peoples opinion as I was an only child so my ability to perceive family dynamics for siblings is a bit thwarted especially from a childs perspective.

Glad to help

[Arimeh]

Jaspen - I'm one of 3 as well, and I hate it My DH is one of 3 and didn't really mind it. So I think its the individual personalities of kids than how many you have