I just bought some clothes at Target, a few new outfits for DD and some new clothes for me. They were off the discount rack so got an extra 30% off their already discounted price, but I still feel so guilty about spending $90 in one go on clothes! I'm trying to think of how much I saved instead, but it still gives me the guilts.
We've been terrible with spending on food atm, I usually go a few times a week and get a basketful of stuff, and I would do a big grocery shop maybe once every 2 months so it probably evens out in the end, but I still feel awful when I get to the checkout and spend $30 or $40 on a basket of things, or even more if I'm buying a tin of formula.
DF doesn't seem to care about spending, as bad as it is for him he'll go to maccas 3 or 4 times a week and get lunch and it doesn't seem to worry him...how come I get to be the worrywart?!
Aww hun, i do the same thing, work it all out in my mind while i am there, toss up whether or not the girls 'need' something before i buy it, what i will miss out on when i do buy things.. must be a mummy thing.
i just tried to tell him about then, without mentioning how much I spent, and he wasn't exactly pleased...oh well..lol. I did work it out and I would have spent $245 if everything was full price, or $120 without the extra discount, so I saved a fair bit even though I wouldn't have bought it if it was full price anyway. Maybe I would feel less guilty if it was 'my' money, i.e. I had done the work to earn it, or I would just be less reluctant to buy anything at all!
i'm the same, i got some clothes for the kids for next year yesterday, and just put them straight into the cupboard, without telling df. he always rolls his eyes when i buy clothes for the next size up, but i always get them on sale, and i'm prepared for the next season, and save a heap of money. i think you hit the nail on the head though, you feel bad because it's not money you've 'earnt'..
You are a mummy now, Storm. Welcome to the club! LOL. You always feel guilty spending money in a family situation without discussion or thought first. It sucks but it is our lot in life.
And dont feel bad about how your DH may feel, lol. Usually they are way worse than us. I know mine is!
Wait til you spend a bit of money on yourself. Oh the guilt that comes with that one! Nasty. Pure Nasty.
I know what you mean about earning it yourself.. DP always says you spend way too much and earn nothing... so when i do spend i feel horrid but yet he says "you don't HAVE to go back to work" go figure.
i get this BIG time. i stand in the checkout waiting to purchase (and can be anything: groceries, clothes etc...so not just the 'special' things iykwim) and i literally 'battle' myself in questioning whether i should or not (buy it). urgh i HATE it.
for me, it TOTALLY has to do with not being the 'earner'. before it was that i earnt significantly less (and therefore felt i shouldnt buy expensive-y things) and now it is 100x worse now that i have zero income.
Yesterday I spent $40 all up on some new underwear that I desperately needed and some shoes
I felt so guilty I put off telling hubby til before I went to bed
But i did need them, thats the difference I think, Its not like I shop like I used to buy ten top in the one style but different colours because I cant decide or a million handbags....
ZF, That is so not on! Id tell him to hire a maid, chef and babysitter and pay for all that so you can go back to work and earn your own money. But he has to pay for them all because you have been doing it for free for months - its his turn to shoulder the burdon. Some men just don't get the concept and need it spelt out for them in little words. LOL
i feel guilty spending on me - never on DD. it's not about who earns the money (cos it has balanced over the past five years with both of us having periods of nil income) - it's just about needs i guess. she is growing. she will need new clothes. no question there. me, the stuff i want is to replace stuff i already have and have used to death or doesn't fit right now (my tees are all distorted from pg lol). i don't feel right buying replacements. i guess i have the thought that i could always wear something else... i dunno.
i am now the only earner in our house and STILL feel bad about spending money - so i can't say the thought of it not being "my" money applies lol
I feel guilty buying things because up until a few months ago if I bought something we generally had to miss out on something else or have to pay a bill late. Now that we a ahead I still feel guilty buying things.
I totally know the feeling. We are contributing to the house and we don't get 'paid' so we don't get that satisfaction where we think we deserve to buy things for ourselves. We are living and working overseas (well DH is working....I'm just on the 'dependants pass') so we are earning a fair bit there....but I STILL don't spend. I am thinking about our future. We are there earning big money for our future, so wants the sense in spending it!
Granted I don't have to worry about spending the money, but I do. I don't buy myself things....it's all for the kids really....oh and food! DH will still spend money guilt free on things I think he is wasting it on....so sometimes I DON'T feel guilty when I need something.
The one I hate the most is having to buy DH a present using 'his' money. That is when I will feel better once the kids are off to school and I can get myself a little part time job. Earning some of my own money again will give me that dependance I need.
Wow I could have written that word for word! That's exactly how I have been feeling lately!! Had a bit of a chat to DH the other day as it was eating me up a bit...Turns out we both feel a bit guilty about spending money so came up with the solution of having 'pocket money'. Each pay week we give ourselves $25 each and can spend it on whatever we like. DH has a few rather expensive hobbies (home brewing and his little music studio) so he often saves up for bigger things...I use mine on makeup, new shoes, magazines anything really. It's a bit corny but a great way for us to buy little things for ourselves without having to feel guilty....we both work hard after all and deserve a reward every now and again.
I am the main money earner in our house and I still feel guilty about spending it! Although not so much if I spend it on the boys, but I really have trouble spending money on me. Luckily my family and friends have cottoned on and give me gift vouchers to girls' clothes shops for birthday and christmas or I'd never have new clothes LOL! And that's even with a DH who doesn't care what I spend on me!!
I used to feel guilty buying things but now I don't. I think that if you can afford to buy it (as in you have a budget and you know the money is there to buy the item with) than go ahead and buy it. If you can't afford it than I think you do get to feel a little guilty, have some self control or re work your budget to allow for the items that you want to buy. If you do have the money than tell yourself that you and your partner work hard enough in life so you bloody well get to enjoy the things you want
As everyone has said don't feel bad, you all need clothes it's a necessity not a luxury, besides his macca's would add up to more if you think about it.
Reply With Quotehun, i do the same thing, work it all out in my mind while i am there, toss up whether or not the girls 'need' something before i buy it, what i will miss out on when i do buy things.. must be a mummy thing.
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Why do I feel so guilty about spending money?
so when i do spend i feel horrid but yet he says "you don't HAVE to go back to work" go figure.
and some shoes
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