Trying to gain a positive attitude

[intheslowlane]

Hi Everyone,

I was just wondering how everyone moves on from the sadness of having failed and miscarried attempts at IVF?

We have a beautiful son and have been trying to add to our family since his birth 21mths ago. This year we have gone through 3 cycles (the middle one was lost at week 9) and I am booked to try in September. I am very worried that my fear of another loss will hinder a positive outcome.

Good Luck to all others undergoing cycles this month.

[oneday86]

Hi intheslowlane! I know how you feel, im now on a 5 month break which totaly crushes me but we need to due to $ and the dissapointment is starting to take its toll on me and my DH, he announced to me yesterday that he isn't happy because we are so broke as all our money goes to IVF (which is true) im in a very sad hard place at the moment, we have had 3 failed attempts and 1 misscaraige at 5 weeks, the infertility problem is my DH but im now going to have some tests done to see if there is something else. We are going to start another STIM cycle in december but to me this is so far away, i have lots of distractions leading up to it but i feel so lost, i just never thought we would be on this IVF journey let alone still be childless after 4 good quality embryo's! I hate going to work at the moment, we are all ladies and 2 are pregnant and another 2 are trying, on the weekends i can TRY and forget about it but when im at work its a constant reminder of what we are going through. I know im not much help because im so down but i wanted to let you know there are others out there so dont feel alone, dont be afraid because of your loss just try and remember that that embryo just wasn't the right one and this one will hopefully be the one. Enjoy your little boy becasue you are so very lucky to have him, and remember it WILL happen again. I wish you all the best for your next transfer xx

[katbaby]

I suppose we just have to never give up hope, be very kind to ourselves, never blames our lives or our bodies for it. And sadly, remember that even if we never get pregnant, as much as we think I life might not be worth living (especially if we will never have any children) we can find happiness and a good life in another direction. At least, this is what Im telling myself all the time, at 42 in 2 months time, no marriage, no boyfriend, no permanent job and no fertility success with donor sperm just yet.

Hi Everyone,

I was just wondering how everyone moves on from the sadness of having failed and miscarried attempts at IVF?

We have a beautiful son and have been trying to add to our family since his birth 21mths ago. This year we have gone through 3 cycles (the middle one was lost at week 9) and I am booked to try in September. I am very worried that my fear of another loss will hinder a positive outcome.

Good Luck to all others undergoing cycles this month.

[intheslowlane]

Dear

Katbaby,

You're right, we do need to be kind to ourselves and it is a great thing to know we're not alone.

It has made me feel so much better just asking for help and being able to talk to others.

I hope you have some luck coming your way. I'm very glad that as a society we've progressed so far that we atleast have these options, expensive as they may be.

OneDay86,

Sorry to hear you're in a sad place. I have been there too.

The money is a real problem and men certainly look at things differently. Luckily (???) my DH said not to worry when I wanted to start having children a few years ago and he didn't, he'd be happy to pay for IVF. I'm not sure if he's every regretted saying it, but as our problem is a joint one, he doesn't really have anywhere to go.

Despite this, after we use up our 10 snowbabies, I'm done. It is too hard emotionally. I hope your husband comes around, as you both need support and someone to talk too.

I do feel alot better for typing this and it will be alright for all of us I'm sure.

All the luck in the world,

intheslowlane

[oneday86]

Very true katbaby and intheslowlane, Dh and i had a chat tonight and things are ok now, its just the money issue getting to him and feeling like we cant enjoy as much but we are both strong ppl and a strong couple so we can get through it. Wow 10 frozen enbryo's is alot! i had 15 eggs collected but only 4 made it to the end, im hoping for a better result next STIM cycle, but this too will most prob be our last STIM cycle. Katbaby im so sorry to hear things arn't looking up for you, but if you really want it don't give up believing because dreams do come true and i really do hope there is a lovely man out there for you. xx