How old was your child when you put them in daycare/kindy/occasional care?
Ok, this will probably be all over the place but please try to bear with me.
Since DD1 turned 2 she has been wanting to go to "school".
Every other day she'll grab a bag, put some snacks and her drink in there and tell me she's ready for school.
I don't think she needs to go. I'm a stay at home mum i don't work so there is no need to send her. I have been contemplating sending her for the socialisation but when i think about it i get really nervous and scared. Don't ask me why, i don't know. I just do.
I don't even leave her with family members let alone complete strangers!
DF has really started pushing the issue and thinks if i don't start sending her its will be for purely selfish reasons. Maybe it is. He wants me to send her 8am-12pm Fridays... Which isn't that long i know but it is for me when i hate leaving her. I was becoming ok with it but now i don't know. He has called an occasional care provider and we are going for a walk through on thursday to confirm her enrolment. I can't help but feel I'm being forced to send my baby (ok apparently she isn't a baby she's 3 in may but she'll always me MY baby lol). I know he's trying to help but geez!
So my questions are
I think if she says she wants to go let her. It will be hard on you yes. But think of her socialization skills developing. She will be off to big school soon and this is a step to get ready.
My eldest was 11 months when he started going to Family Day Care. I took him out of care when he turned 2 as I was going on Mat Leave. My DS2 is now 14 months and has never been in care.
If socialization with other kids the same age was all you were after, then it's good to go to a play group, swimming lessons or to meet up with a Mother's Group. We already do those things, but I was finding that my DS1 is very shy around adults and people were asking me if he had trouble with speech because he hardly ever spoke (too shy!) There's a place locally to us that does a half day each week of Play School, run by early childhood trained teachers and is like a pre Preschool for 3 year olds . I've been sending DS1 to that for one term so far and he's getting lots of intellectual stimulation that I feel that I can't offer him, as well as building confidence being around other adults. He was quite shy around anyone except me and DH, but the Play School has brought him out of his shell, now he's quite chatty. Every Friday he's was ready to go with his bag! Plus I get to have 3 hours to focus some attention solely on DS2.
It's a tough decision Jessey that no one can make for you. You know your little girl best, so you would know in your heart if she would really benefit from doing something similar to what my little boy does. If it was just 3 hours of daycare with no structured activities, then I personally wouldn't bother, but you might find that she will flourish in occasional care.
Hope you summon up the courage to either stand your ground with your DF and keep DD at home, or to take the plunge and send her to 'School' a couple of hours a week.
Last edited by *suz1*; January 30th, 2011 at 11:04 AM.
: typo
My DD is starting in 2 weeks, just one day a week, (about 6 hrs ) and mum is having her one day. I going back to study I dont want to leave her with anyone but I need to do this course now while i have the chance! And I really think she will benifit, she gets bored easily and just loves when we go to see other kids
Do your kids go to daycare/kindy/occasional care? Yes. Until Friday, she was at day care 3 day a week. She begins real kindergarten on Monday, again, 3 days a week, 5.5 hours each day.
How old were they when they started? 18 months.
I am also a SAHM, but I work form home too. We had/ve no friends with similar aged children and she needed the interaction and socialisation. So she went.
Am I being irrational/selfish? Perosnally, yes, I think you are - sounds like you have separation anxiety. But it is normal to be scared, you need to recognise though that she is clearly ready to go, wants to go and it will be good for her.
I don't think you're being selfish or irrational at all....you're her Mum and you are just trying to do what you think is best for her that's all it's a hard thing leaving your first born in the care of someone else!!
I'm kinda in your situation in that I too, am a SAHM and my DD turns 2 this week. I have been considering putting her in only one day a week (for just a few hours only) as I think she'd really enjoy the social interaction with the kids there and also the other adults. She is so social! In saying this though, she gets to see lots of kids when we go to music, playgroup, swim class etc!! I'm expecting bub#2 in May and I think it would be good for DD to have that part of the week 'just for herself' where it's 'her' thing and a break from Mum. BUT in saying that, I don't think I'm ready to send her off just yet so I'm still deciding and at the moment, I'm not going to send her.
I absolutely LOVE being at home with my DD and they are only little for such a short time....I am considering now sending her 1 day a week once she turns 3. That way she'll be older then and more able to tell me if she's really enjoying it or not and what has been going on there etc.....
I think DD still very much needs me close by her side at this age too, whereas your DD is a bit older.
Still deciding..... other reasons for sending DD would be so I can have that one day a week with the new baby, but then I worry am I being selfish and thats only for 'my' benefit? kwim?? BUT I've lately realised, of course I'll get lots of time with just the baby and me and when and if DD goes off 1 day a week when she turns 3, the baby will be about 8mths of age or so, and that will be our time together then once DD starts kindy. So yeah, lots to think about LOL!!!!
GL making a decision. I think it's a hard one to make
I put DD1 in when she turned 3. I didn't want her earlier than that and was lucky to have parents to babysit when I went to work.
Just my comfort level is when they can talk to express themselves they can go that way they can tell me if any problems.
Do your kids go to daycare/kindy/occasional care?
DD1 goes to DC, DD2 is at home, I work from home.
How old were they when they started?
DD1 started at 8 months of age, when I was having trouble getting work done at home with her and not achieving much when I went into the office
Am I being irrational/selfish?
I don't think you are being selfish or irrational, I think it is pretty normal to not want to part with your child at what ever age, we don't have the option of any family to watch our DD's instead of going to care and FDC didn't have any openings, so we really didn't have much of a choice. But DD thrives in DC, she is coming along in leaps and bounds, and would not have been able to provide as much social interaction at home due to work, needed to be home more....
Maybe you can use that time as "your time" doing something special that you can't easily do when she is home, make it a positive experience for both of you and see how it all goes
I was going to send him early one day a week for socialization and because I was pregnant, but had a miscarriage so I kept him home a little longer.
he has been asking to go too, and wants to play with other kids. I guess I think he needs it too at his age, and he will benefit form the things I don't get to do that often like messy painting and I know he is going to the best childcare in the area, as I have done my research....
he will also be fed really well and I'm sure he will be exhausted when he gets home so Will start to go be bed earlier
I think you don't want to let her go....separation anxiety definitely, but really I'm sure you could do with the little break...
I know being pregnant agan now, I could sure use a day to myself to do a big grocery shop with chasing a toddler and. Maybe even get to nap to keep my energy up ....
* Do your kids go to daycare/kindy/occasional care? DS1 started OCC when he was 2 yrs 2 months for 5 hrs 1 day a week and loved it. He is returning this year for 1 5 hr session a week and both him and DS1 (1 yr old) are starting day care 1 day a week for me to do uni placements.
* How old were they when they started? DS1 2 yrs 2 months OCC. CC will be just over 2 and 1/2 DS2 just over 1.
* Am I being irrational/selfish? You need to do what is right for you I sent DS1 to OCC for the social side of things as he loves being with other kids. I would prefer not to be sending DS2 so young but due to uni have no choice.
DS is starting 3yo kindy on Thursday. He's 2 years 9 months. I was really hesitant about it too because I want him home with me but I've become comfortable with it because I get to stay there with him for the first two terms and then terms 3 and 4 he will go on his own. Plus it's only 2.5 hours one day a week. Any longer than that or more than one day, I'm not sure I could do it.
Thanks ladies, i think i'll try her one day for 4 hours to see how she goes and make a decision from there. Pretty sure she will be going though... *deep breaths* lol
thank you for your honesty LimeSlice deep down i know you are right...
DS started childcare when he was 2.5years old for 2 days, he hated it, so i took him out til he was 3, then he loved it. I had big issues with my own separation anxiety too xx
Definitely a good idea to let her go if she's ready - even if you're not sure that you are quite as ready as her.
I had a slightly different situation with my DD, she was in full time long daycare from when she was 4 months old as financially we couldn't survive with me not working. Having her in so young was really difficult, but we as a family gradually adjusted. We took her out for a while when she was around 18 months old as I became unemployed, making daycare no longer necessary.
When my ex and I broke up she was 2 and went back to daycare, she loved it. Daycare/kindy always had heaps of toys, lots of activities and the staff keep you really involved in what they're getting up to and how they're coming along. I'd go to drop her off and most days I'd just about be lucky to get a peck on the cheek goodbye before she was racing off to join her mates. I noticed her speech take off in leaps and bounds from when we had her at home to when she was in care, and whilst this could have been just an age thing, I think spending the day chattering to her daycare buddies had a fair bit to do with it as well.
I think spending time outside the home with kids their own age away from mum is important for kids as they get close to school age as it teaches them to listen to an adult who isn't their parents, as well as those vital social skills, settling and cooperation etc. They will eventually have to go to school and if they've been continually with mum the whole time prior it can come as a massive culture shock.
•Do your kids go to daycare/kindy/occasional care? - Yes
•How old were they when they started? - DD1, 2years, DD2, 6months
•Am I being irrational/selfish? - No you do what helps with you an your family xoxoxo
For anyone wondering Lyla started "school" today... She didn't even look back. I asked her to come and say goodbye, she just waved from where she was and said "Bye" i had to stay together. Chased her for a kiss got to the car and had a cry... I know she's going to have fun but i miss her
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How old was your child when you put them in daycare/kindy/occasional care?
Hope you summon up the courage to either stand your ground with your DF and keep DD at home, or to take the plunge and send her to 'School' a couple of hours a week.
) and mum is having her one day. I going back to study
other reasons for sending DD would be so I can have that one day a week with the new baby, but then I worry am I being selfish and thats only for 'my' benefit? kwim?? BUT I've lately realised, of course I'll get lots of time with just the baby and me and when and if DD goes off 1 day a week when she turns 3, the baby will be about 8mths of age or so, and that will be our time together then once DD starts kindy. So yeah, lots to think about LOL!!!!
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