I don't know what to do. I'm stuck between the rock and the hard place, trying to work out what is best for my daughter. Those who haven't seen me around the boards... She has ASD and is very sensory seeking and sensitive. We've been having issue with her school just not getting the whole sensory/behaviour nuances of autism. She has been regressing horribly once she gets home in her "safe" place and can let go - wetting and soiling herself, meltdowns galore, she's losing skills both in comprehension and motor. Her OT has noticed she's become very combative. Her osteo says she's regressed some 1.5 years (and $6000) worth of therapy. Any gains we made with the private psych last year have also started to disappear. I had a meeting with the school and voiced my concerns, they made out that she was happy at school, so if she's unhappy when she gets home it must be something going on there -which is absolute bull on both counts.
Yesterday I kept her home for a "mental health" day off after she punched a kid in the face on Wednesday (yeah, she's all smiles). The teacher changed routine by going to the library and didn't prepare her for it. Teacher just sees DD's behaviour and not how she is playing a part in it and says it was unprovoked. *sigh* The thing was, she was beautiful all day at home. In fact, she's beautiful on weekends too - it's just school days where we have issues. Anyway, we achieved, she was calm, focused, happy - most of all, NO REGRESSION!!!
I also found out that said teacher has been rousing on DD for head shaking (in other words telling her off for being autistic) rather than looking for the source of anxiety that's causing it. This in particular, really ticked me off. She's also coming home with an almost full lunch box, meaning she hasn't eaten anymore than maybe 8 grapes since breakfast at 7am.
I DO NOT want DD to be transferred to a public school and put in a special class, where she can pick up all the other kids ticks (it was bad enough when she in an EIU). I would love to send her to the local Steiner school, but they're full - she's on the waiting list, but we wont likely get in this year. I can't tell if these regressions are just a transitional thing, a one step back to take two forward and by removing her I could cause damage, or are they her cry for help that the longer I take to deal with it the more damage is done.
So, as far as I can see, I've got three options left to me and I'm agonising over which is the right course of action. I will ask, if you're the type of person that really believes in the traditional mainstream school and wouldn't consider anything else (like Steiner or a community school), your advice most probably wont be overly helpful to me, so please refrain.
So options:
1. Leave things be and see how they go for another term. I'm currently picking her up at 13:15 (lunch time), she only misses out on craft and social studies which we make up for by gardening etc. Try and support the teachers (who have stated they have no intention of taking any time off to do any professional development) by providing info and hope they read it and then apply it. Might throw in the occasional mental health day when she becomes too feral.
2. Pull her out completely and homeschool using our specially formulated sensory integration curriculum from ENKI. We've used this in the past, when I homeschooled her until DS came along, and it does work really well - she gets it.
3. A combination of traditional school and ENKI. I'd reduce her hours back to 11:15 (that way she still gets recess to socialise). The school will only be responsible for teaching the 20 phonograms they've set as her goal and I would take on the rest of her education.
I'm not really sure what I would do.. It sounds like the school is being far from supportive in regards to your DD's needs. Why have they refused to do any professional development, do you know? Just seems so strange to me.
Could you call the Steiner school and ask if your position could be moved forward?
I guess I would leave her in school at the moment, finishing at lunch time. I would try to communicate more with the teacher, as you suggested, provide information for her.. Does she have a communication book?? Write your concerns in their. DD only ate 8 grapes today, could you possibly note this to staff on duty to encourage her to eat more?? Add information on why she shakes, "she is anxious, ask yourself what is making her feel this way". Give yourself a set time, if things haven't improved by x amount of time, I am going to do this (combination of ENKI and school).
For me - I would leave pulling her out completely as my last option. School (when done correctly) could be great for her. Its just a shame that her teacher seems a bit vague on the whole thing. Such a shame.. But with that said - If it needs to be done, and she is regressing far too much, then I'm 100% with you on pulling her out.
Sorry if this is scattered, but you did ask for my thoughts, hehe.
That's a very hard decision. I think I would be more inclined to homeschool her than leave her somewhere that was upsetting for her. Perhaps you could ask the school if she could attend only one class per day (such as sport or art) for socialisation, and you do the rest at home?
I'm big on kids staying mainstream. But honestly only you know what is best. Perhaps you could trial option 3, mainstream with you home schooling as well?? I mean its the best of both worlds then and they get socialised at school still. Schooling is such a tricky issue, even when kids don't have a disability with all the bullying that goes on and luck of the draw with getting a half decent teacher. Good luck with your decision hun...xo
Last edited by *Twinkle*; April 1st, 2011 at 06:39 PM.
If it were me I would trial option 3 first. If she still has issues with the school not meeting her halfway and she is regressing and upset then I would homeschool.
Tough decision though, not knowing which outcome would be best until it actually happens
I'm with Freya. I'd reduce the hours and if things don't improve I'd pull her out.
Are there any other schools around besides the Steiner school who may be more sympathetic and understanding if not experienced in educating special needs kids?
I'm incredibly sad for her (and frustrated for you) that her teacher really doesn't get her autism. Are there any aides available that could advocate for your daughter? (ie does the government fund any additional support for both her and the teacher?)
It just sounds horrible that she's being told off for behaviour that's out of her control It's very upsetting.
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It's very upsetting.
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