number of waking hours for newborn

[rania]

My 3 weeks old is not a sleeper! Is it normal for him to be awake for 3-4 hours at a time? He feeds fairly well (doing a combo of bottle and breast atm as having a few issues), is generally happy, but just doesn't seem to sleep as much as I thought newborns did. I am sure my friends babies sleep more than he does. It's my first so just not 100% what to expect and hoping I could get some reassurance.

[helle]

My ds was the same. I never remember him having more then two naps during the day as a newborn, and it went down to 1 nap well before he turned 1. He was always awake, sometimes up to six hour stretches. I envy mothers of those sleepy, dopey newborns that just sleep the day away being all cute and stuff *sigh*

[onthefly]

There is an extremely wide range of 'normal'. My DS never slept much at all in the first 3 months. My DD slept heaps in the first month - I thought I was on to a winner then she grew out of it
Sometimes it's just the way they are. Sometimes it's a matter of figuring out those tired cues and getting them settled in time. Somtiems there's something messing with their sleep. It's hard early on as you're finding your feet, but in time you do start to figure it all out. Despite being new to motherhood, you are still the one person who knows your son best.

[rania]

I am with you Helle! I am envious. I talked to another new mum from my classes and she says her DD is sleeping soundly for hours upon hours. Our little DS was not so dear all night last night. He is happy when he is in our arms (I know, I know, we don't want him in that habit), but if he is not in our arms he only takes about 4 mins (in rocker or on play mat etc) to get unsettled.
We tried the letting him cry thing, and he does cry himself to sleep, which we were initially thankful for. However if we let him do this, he wakes about every 5 mins crying again. So he cries himself to sleep in a couple of mins, but then the cycle continues. I would have thought once he got to sleep he would stay that way unless something was waking him. He doesn't seem to have wind (he's a good burper our lad), happy nappy and full as a googey egg on breastmilk and formula top ups.
Community nurse is coming today so hopefully I can ask her also.
I tell you what though, one he does get to sleep my DH and I look at each other and breathe a sigh of relief! Might be just about time to call on his nanna to come stay a night with us and lend a hand.

[Jellybean29]

My DS was same but I never let him cry himself to sleep. I just can't do it.
I ended up getting DS a sleeping bag and co-sleeping. It works great for me but it's not for everyone.

[Jules84]

Rania - I tried to pm you but you're set up to not receive pm's. It's personal choice, don't let anyone tell you whats 'right' and 'wrong' you find what works for you. Best advice I heard was think of their first few months as the fourth trimester, they are adjusting to the outside world. I've always just done what works. DS has slept both in his cot and also in bed with me, I have done whatever I need to do to get more sleep for us both. Just find what works and go with it then adjust as you go if need be.

[luna moth]

He is happy when he is in our arms (I know, I know, we don't want him in that habit)

There's nothing wrong with that habit. It works for a reason! He's used to having your warmth next to him, hearing your heartbeat and being all snuggled up, because he spent 9 months that way. Get yourself a sling (I highly recommend the Close carrier) and pop him in there, so you can go about your life - or sit down and rest!

My baby girl spent her first 12 weeks of life sleeping in the carrier or in my arms, and she now very happily goes to sleep in a cot and is sleeping through the night. So don't worry yourself about "habits"

[ellasmummy]

My dd sleeps more now than when she was a newborn lol. She was often awake for 6 hour stretches or longer, these days she sleeps 2 naps a day and 12ish hours at night. All baby led spent a lot of time being held/in carrier/co sleeping until about 12wks. She hates co sleeping now waah! Loves her own cot

[rania]

hmm I will go try work out where to change not receiving PM's.

[Jellybean29]

hmm I will go try work out where to change not receiving PM's.

I think you need maybe a minimum post count before those features open up?

[onthefly]

You'll need more posts and to be around for a bit longer before becoming a 'member' then you can access PMs.

rania - there are no rules. you just do what works for you. regardless of what you do now, your baby will not be doing it forever. It's ok to feed/hold/rock/sing to sleep. It's ok to sleep with them. Give yiourself (and your baby) a break from teh shoulds and should-nots, especially in teh first 3 months. I imagine myself in my old age - I dont' want to look back with regret, wishing I'd held them more. They are little for such a short time.

[Tilda]

Its so hard when babies won't sleep. Do whatever it takes in the first few months. There's plenty of time for "good habits" later on. Do you wrap? Even if they look like they hate it when you first wrap them they do stay asleep longer. Perhaps try wrapping and then giving him a big feed and then put him down when he's dead asleep.

[Tilda]

Sorry one thing more. I think I used to make the mistake of keeping DD1 up too long before trying to settle her and then she would get overtired and be up for hours. As soon as he shows tired signs try to settle and if he's a baby that doesn't have obvious tired signs try settling him after about an hour of awake time. But don't beat yourself up if nothing seems to work. I really believe some babies just aren't good sleepers and take awhile to learn.

[nattyfred]

Having just had my second bub I have experienced both types of sleepers. My first didn't sleep well at all and generally was unsettled most of the time (bless her heart) she is now sleeping in a big bed of her own at 21 months and 1 day sleep but we still need to be in there with her while she falls asleep. Our second is just under 2 weeks and we were ready to have another like dd1 as that's all we knew but have been surprised with a sleeper this time just do what you are comfy with and what works at the time but I work on the principle that you can't spoil a newborn so don't pressure myself to make any 'rules' till after 3 months. Good luck with your bub x x

[Loveinamist]

Like the other ladies have said don't worry about what your bub 'should' be doing. Just remember only 3 weeks ago he was snuggled beautifully inside you, being fed 24/7 and cuddled 24/7. He never knew anything but your warmth, voice and nourishment from your body. Now in the outside world he naturally wants and needs that still. Human babies are born underdeveloped. Most animals give birth to what we would think is a toddler. Our babies are more like kangaroo and koala babies. They are born and then snuggle into a pouch, feeding until they are big and strong enough to live outside the pouch (but they still pop back in for security sometimes!) We don't have a pouch but we do have loving arms! So wanting to be held is completely normal and by no means a bad habit.
Do what your gut tells you and don't let anyone tell you that holding your baby is wrong. Good luck!