Body Perception

[Jellyfish]

Logically, I know I am a healthy weight (before pregnancy I was ~57kg with a BMI of ~20) but when I see myself, I seem HUGE (not just because I'm pregnant, this is an ongoing thing haha). I have read/heard many times that females often see themselves as a bigger size than they are and I try to tell myself that when I am looking at myself, explain to myself that females are meant to have hips and thighs and breasts like this, that if I can fit into size 10 skinny jeans my thighs must be in proportion (my thighs are my sore spot really) but I can't see it, it actually hurts my brain trying to figure out how I can be this healthy weight but still seem so huge. How do you get yourself to see the reality? I feel like I should be enjoying my body more, appreciate it and all of that, feel good about myself basically; I eat healthy and everyday make sure I've done my 10 000 steps, at least some of which at a higher impact, so it should make sense to me that I am healthy but I can't seem to make it all fit in my mind with the picture I see in the mirror.

I want to accept myself but how do you do that? This has mostly come to a head because last pregnancy I took very limited photos of myself (I think there are two and they are hidden deep on my computer), in fact I avoid photos at most times but I don't want to get to the end of this pregnancy and find the same thing, I want to have photos of me being pregnant! I want to have photos of me in general, with my daughter, with my family, I want to be in those memories instead of simply behind the machinery because I'm self-conscious. I feel like my perception of what is a healthy body must be really skewed from reality but I'm not sure how to alter it. So where are those self-loving people and how did you get there? How do I get there!

[Heaven]

Hi JF! I'm not sure what the answer is! Could you try some positive affirmations until you really believe it? You're gorgeous btw and definitely take more photos of yourself!! (or get someone to do it for you lol)

[Lolpigs]

It took a long time, and I'm still not there 100%.

Pregnancy has been very confronting for me, as prior to this I had finally managed to get my health, weight etc under control to the point where I was happy (size 14 or so). I've only gone up to a size 16 and massive belly LOL but this does shatter me sometimes.

Being determined not to be unhappy helped if that makes sense. I would say to myself (before baby) Well this is me, this is what my husband sees and he loves me for it or my body is growing another person, of course its going to change. Positive statements in my head. I really found by verbailising negative statements they made them reality. Whatever you say your brain believes, and it does seem to work like that so I try to limit any of that. Instead replace thes with things like, I am who I am becuase of x, I am a good and worthwile person.

I must confess I don't like to always look at my pregnant self in the mirror, sometimes it makes me really sad becuase of all the hard work I did. And half the time I force myself becuase it does make it easier to deal with, and puts things into persepctive. Looking at yourself, blows away alot of those mind created images that we tend to hide from.

(I would kill to be a size 10 BTW! LOL)

I'm no answer tree but I hope I helped a little Reality is never as bad as what your mind thinks it is.

[Beach Mama]

I am not sure what the answer is hun but I do have to say that it is amazing your perception can vary to what other people think as well... Yesterday my DH and I were out and saw a girl who I thought looked pretty cute but she was in shorts and thongs (we were in the country and it was freezing!!!) anyway DH made a less than complementary comment to my comment about how silly she was wearing summer clothes on a day of around 13 degrees. The conversation went on with me saying something about how if he thought that she was fat then he must think I was ginormous.... Turns out he thought she was bigger than me and I disagreed blah blah. Saw her later and she was definitely not fat but when I really looked at her realised she would have been bigger than me.

It was a bit of an eye opener for me - similar to when I watch Gok and he does the line up and woman ALWAYS think they look bigger than what they actually are!! Anyway not sure I am much help but I have realised that what I think I look like is actually a bit different to what others see. Pre kids I was a size 10-12 and am now a 14 down bottom and 12 up top so really not that much different but I still see myself at my heaviest post kids when I was pushing a size 16. Love to hear what others say and how you get on the road to simply loving who you are and accepting your body post-pg.