Have we created a mummy's girl or is it just a stage?
It's doing my head in DD will not have a bar of DH overnight so I'm left to settle her whenever she wakes. This has been going on for a few months now and I was really hoping it was just a stage but I'm worried it's not.
Is it common for a toddler (DD turned 2 in September) to have a 'favourite'? She loves her daddy to pieces and is fine with him putting her to bed at night and for day sleeps on weekends but when it comes to overnight wake ups, she screams blue murder if he dares to try and settle her. She gets herself so worked up she almost vomits - she actually did a few months back
In my hormonal and emotional preggy state, I'm often despising DH for this, like it's his fault and he's created this situation. I went mental at him the other night screaming that he's created this 'monster' (not DD, just the situation, lol) but really, it's probably just one of those things - although it generally has been me who has gotten up to her throughout the night since she was born. In saying that though, there were definitely times when DH has settled her and DD was fine about it so I don't know why she no longer likes him helping out
Anyway, I'm quite worried about how we'll tackle this should the issue continue once our new baby arrives. I hate hearing her get so worked up when he tries to settle her and I don't fancy cleaning up vomit but there is no way I'll be able to deal with her and a newborn overnight. Hopefully she'll miraculously stop waking over night once her sibling arrives and I won't have to worry about it!
Do you think this is just a stage she's going through? Is it likely she's picking up on the changes that are ahead (she's very aware of my growing belly and 'mummy's bubba' inside)? Or have we made her too reliant on me at night?
PS she doesn't wake every night, she's quite capable of sleeping through and self settling but I'm having a doozy with her tonight. I went to bed early for a change, at 9.30pm, and I've been up with her 3 times already (it's 2.45am). DH tried last time but DD's screaming got the better of me so here I am, 45 minutes later and wide awake!!
I think we've created a similar monster I too get so angry at DH and it's not all is fault. My DD is much younger than your DD but we're having the same issue, partly because for us if my DD wakes up until now she's been given a breastfeed. But at 10months i'd like to think she's not so hungry that she needs to feed every 3 hours. So i have recently started to settle if it's a little too soon for a feed and it's pretty much on me, she gets herself hysterical for DH and i have to lie there and listen to it. Sooner or later she gets what she wants because what is the point in us all getting into such a state?
It's a work in progress for us. I will keep trying to get DH to help out and hopefully sooner or later she'll settle for both of us. She won't go down for anyone at anytime of the day other than me.
So i don't have any real words of wisdom other than keep trying but with minimal fuss (if that's possible). Good luck
Kids waking up so no time to explain but just wanted to say that we had this situation and DD is now totally fine with DH resettling her. This too shall pass! Oxoxo
ETA: she's now 2.5. Think it changed in the last few months of my pregnancy when I was totally over it and got DH to put her to bed almost every night. (so maybe started to improve at 27ish months)
We have a similar monster here at 23 months in age. Except DD won't have a bar to do with me its ALL about Daddy at least I get to sleep.
I think there is a major development phase they go through at this stage so being clingy might be more normal for certain personalities as they find themselves coping with the changes.
we have a similar monster - and if i'm out he will pass out on daddy whilst sitting on the couch (or at the computer lol) rather than DP actually being able to put him into bed. i figure it's a stage thing - DS will often take half an hour in the evenings before he will let DP give him a kiss & cuddle - it's as though he's saying 'you've been out all day so now you need to work for my attention'
just quietly, i'm hoping the stage passes before #2 arrives!
About 18mth-2yrs they really identify with (and consciously choosing) the same gender/ role parent so I would say it is a stage that will pass as with all things.
my son is obsessed with only me at the moment, to the point where he wont even let my DF make him a sippy cup! it has to be me all the time! he also runs and jumps on my lap the minute DF gets home from work and won't go near him! just a few months ago it was the other way around! toddlers are just plain strange! hang in there! I remember learning at uni something about the toddler subconsciously in competition with the opposite sex parent for attention from the same sex, so in your case your DD is trying to win your attention over your husband. Hope you get some sleep tonight!
We used to have that problem too. It helped for us to explain to DS that if he woke overnight Daddy would be coming to help him. If he needed someone then he could call Daddy. It then wasn't such a big shock that it wasn't me and he could expect that it would be Daddy.
Our two are similar ages and I really think it's a stage as Moo has been VERY clingy lately. Maybe they're picking up on something in regards to the pregnancy. He won't have a bar of Dadda, my DH can't even get him his drinks etc! I go from doing everything myself to keep the peace, to telling DH to deal with whatever it is, depending on my energy levels I've been worried about how it's going to be when his little brother arrives too.
No answers Taurean just sending you big that will work itself out and is just a phase like so many other things. DS definitely has a preference for DH during the day at the moment but is content with whoever comes to him if he wakes in the middle of the night which luckily is fairly rare! I don't think it will have been anything you have done or if there is something you can do to improve the situation. Though I know your DDs language is quite good so would it be worth explaining that Mummy is very tired because of the baby and that Daddy will help you go back to sleep so Mummy can rest and see if that works? Xx
So I'm thinking after reading all your responses that it might just be a stage then. That would be good!
Nice to know we are not alone with this battle but a big boo hoo that others understand my pain!
Cheezel - had to LOL at your comment about how you deal with the situation depending on your mood cause that's exactly what I'm doing lately! If I've had a rough day or if DH is in my bad books then he can just deal with it! Hence why he wore DD's projectile vomit just a few months ago
Nae - quietly jealous that your DD will only go to your DH at night! How did you wangle that?!
Krysalyss & NW3 - we had the chat to her tonight actually and told her that Daddy may be the one to see her if she wakes at night and that would be A-OK. She agreed with us so hopefully she did actually understand. Good suggestion!
Thanks for all your replies, fingers crossed she shares the 'overnight love' with DH soon!
Have we created a mummy's girl or is it just a stage?
DD will not have a bar of DH overnight so I'm left to settle her whenever she wakes. This has been going on for a few months now and I was really hoping it was just a stage but I'm worried it's not. 
Reply With QuoteI too get so angry at DH and it's not all is fault. My DD is much younger than your DD but we're having the same issue, partly because for us if my DD wakes up until now she's been given a breastfeed. But at 10months i'd like to think she's not so hungry that she needs to feed every 3 hours. So i have recently started to settle if it's a little too soon for a feed and it's pretty much on me, she gets herself hysterical for DH and i have to lie there and listen to it. Sooner or later she gets what she wants because what is the point in us all getting into such a state?
at least I get to sleep.
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