Am I broken?

[jellybean88]

Is it abnormal to not wake up to your own baby crying? I have always been a very heavy sleeper but with all the extra tiredness dh has been waking me every time baby cries cause I don't wake up and baby is right next ti me in basinet.

Am I broken? Could it be cause I have mild pnd? Im only really starting to connect with baby note after a traumatic first week, do you think its that?

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[Mad Scientist]

You are not broken, just exhausted. I've done it many times. If DP didn't wake you up, you would wake up eventually hun. They just get louder! Exhaustion does strange things to our bodies and minds not to mention PND. Big hugs. You are doing a great job x

[sloane]

i agree with MS - you're not broken, just totally exhausted. the connection isn't always immediate either, give it time

[RhiChiChi]

I don't know about not feeling a connection, perhaps you might want to speak to someone about that? I went to a counsellor through my hospital where I had DD (about bf issues) and they diagnosed me of anxiety, not PND - can you call the hospital and see if they offer that service? In relation to not hearing bubs, when you are so tired, like extreme tiredness, you can sleep through alot. Is it possible for you to nap during the day to try to rest, recharge & catch up on a bit of sleep?

[peanutter]

you're exhausted and adjusting to your new life - not broken.

maybe your DH can help out a little more? maybe he can get the baby up and bring him to you?

[shiremummy]

Please go and speak to someone. I ignored things for 7 months and had to rebuild the bond with my DS from scratch. I've been to hell and back and will probably never forgive myself. Even if all is okay it's sometimes just good to debrief.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I'm going to say that it's OK not to insta-"bond" with someone. I didn't with Liebling and, knowing more about my own psychology, don't expect to with Stormy either. This time I am not going to beat myself up about it. You have to build a bond from scratch anyway, so it doesn't really matter when you do it - and your baby will feel a bond with you, even if it takes longer for you.

Why is your DH waking you up instead of doing something useful? He really isn't helping. And if it helps, I can still sleep through Lieby waking up in the night and happily let DH go to him if he wakes and I don't - and get very angry if DH wakes me up! (Lieby is at school now, so that may change things somewhat.)

[~Lashes~]

i wouldn't say that you were broken because you don't wake up for bub. DF learned to attach our babies to my boob at night for the simple fact it was easier for him to do that then spend half hour to an hour trying to wake me up to feed a starving baby (then resulting in settling hysterical baby first to feed) being a mum is exhausting let alone all the other jobs we juggle on top. if you are worried for any reason speak to someone for your own piece of mind/

[jellybean88]

Thanks guys, sorry forgot to say baby is formula fed after a traumatic first week trying ti get him to bf and me becoming very.ill, dh and I take it in turns so he does help when it is my turn he wakes me up.

But starting to feel a lil better the last day or so, who knew having a baby could be so traumatic

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[Mad Scientist]

No one can ever explain how tough it is. It has to be experienced doesn't it?! Big hugs. Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Like PP's said, you need to source some emotional support if you are feeling you can't cope re PND. Exhaustion is awful xx

[Kmn]

I think that DH is just waking a bit earlier than you - rest assured that bub has enough volume in reserve to wake you (and the neighbours!) if DH doesn't wake you up.
Please take every chance you can to catch some sleep - don't do more than the minimum housestuff whilst bub is asleep - use that time for your sleeping.
And try and get outside - some sunshine and fresh air will help both you and bub.