What's taboo?

[Phteven]

Soooo......
What are the things that you will never make jokes about?
And what are the things that you will always speak up about if people are making jokes?

What are the words you will never use? And why?

I hope this thread doesn't offend anyone but it is inevitable that it's going to contain adult words and concepts.

Anyways..... for me.

I won't tell jokes about abuse, the Holocaust, GLTG/Queer people and racist jokes. Generally I find any joke about someone who can't defend themselves is odious which is why I have become such a Jordan fan after she stood up for her son when he couldn't.

As for words I don't use. Bastard is one word I was taught never to use because for an illegitimate person it can be very hurtful. I was taught by my Mother who had the whole etiquette deal down pat that really I should never insult anyone with words that might be true because I might hurt bystanders as well as my intended target. So silly toerag is fine because really no-one is literally a toe-rag but bastard is not fine because many people are bastards.
I don't use Gay to mean lame/weak for obvious reasons.
I don't use the C word because really I don't see why genitals should be an insult. There's nothing wrong with women's genitals. On the flip side I do use **** when I stuff up. Maybe that is a bit of a double standard there but since we still live in a patriarchal society I can apply the Chris Rock rule (when you've got stuff you have to put up with people who don't have stuff being rude about you).

I do use the term towel-head. I'm allowed to own it because I am it

Oh yeah, and bogan. I don't much like bogan because it's so classist - basically it says that being poor makes you a good target for ridicule. But Bogans are rich too so hating on cashed-up bogans says that only people who act like they were born with money have the right to be rich. But I can't stand the whole bogan/racist culture so yeah...... I'm mixed up about bogans and whether it's ok to hate on them.

Oh... and PC too. I dislike it when people try to justify using hurtful language by telling people who speak up against them that they are too PC. If being PC means trying your best to respect other people even those unlike yourself then I'm happy to own that. I often fall down. I have terrible foot in mouth syndrome but I like to think I can learn and when I upset people with my language I try not to do it again.

[Rouge]

I don't joke about the holocaust. I don't use the term Nazi to describe anything (ie. grammar nazi).
I don't joke about sexuality.
I don't joke about race or religion.
I don't like jokes about abuse or violence.

Some of my biggest pet peeves are:

Male Bashing Jokes
Jokes about size (especially when it's larger people picking on skinny people... because that's some how ok because?)

That's about it really.

[Maruschke]

anti-Semitism

anything that relies on one group of people being considered inferior to another

my husband

[nothing2lose]

Re: bogans. I think it's all about mindset, attitudes and values. I'm often guilty of dismissing people who don't agree with me as being bogan Something I need to work on.

I guess I am like everyone else and the things that are taboo, and shouldn't be joked about, or made light of, are the things I feel passionate about.

- Family violence
- racism
- gender equality
- social justice and equality
- the Jewish Holocaust and any form of genocide
- religious intolerance

Language is the most powerful tool/weapon we have as humans. It forms our thoughts, social mores and values - good and bad. It defines us as a society and as individuals. (Read 1984 by George Orwell or anything by Noam Chomsky if you are not sure what I am talking about.) That's why it's so important.

I don't use the c word, the n word, call things 'gay' as a putdown, use 'girl/woman' as a putdown...the list goes on

I like to think I am not being PC but RC - respectfully correct.

[Lenny]

I used to use Gay as a derogatory term. I never gave it a thought. Until a BB member pointed out how offensive it was and why. I was so glad she said - it had up until then seemed harmless. So thanks to her - she changed me, and my DH. Ditto to witch, although i didn't really use it.

I use the term ferral. I've yet to be convinced that it's not a great descriptive word for my neighbours.

There are words i won't use like 4 letter word for rooster, and the other 4 letter c word. I find them offensive. They make me shudder.

[HotI]

Some words are taboo in some settings but not others. Among friends with physical limitations, i may use the word cripple (cripple parking sticker), but i wouldn't use it with people who weren't friends. Also, i would be happy for some (able bod) friends to use these terms, but not so much for others- kinda like when your Dad tries to talk teenage language and he just doesn't pull it off.

[Rouge]

I nearly put the word bogan up there. I've been trying lately to use it less, for the reasons you mentioned. And I see it to myself as hypocritical.

[Maruschke]

I used to use Gay as a derogatory term. I never gave it a thought. Until a BB member pointed out how offensive it was and why. I was so glad she said - it had up until then seemed harmless. So thanks to her - she changed me, and my DH. Ditto to witch, although i didn't really use it.

I use the term ferral. I've yet to be convinced that it's not a great descriptive word for my neighbours.

There are words i won't use like 4 letter word for rooster, and the other 4 letter c word. I find them offensive. They make me shudder.

That's a big one. Any time someone says, for example, "that movie was gay", I ask... "what was so homosexual about that movie"???? It usually stops them. Probably only stops them when I am around, but I seriously dislike the use of gay as a derogatory word.

[lilima]

I too became a Katie Price fan. As someone who works in he disability sector I see first hand how hurtful terms like 'mental' and 'spastic' can be to some people.

[sushee]

I'm honestly the worst. I joke about everything. But in my defence, I make fun of myself as much. My favourite line for a while was that I am the prototype for 'Asian Tattoo Barbie' and just as plastic. And you could pre-order me for Christmas 2012.

I am from all sorts of minority, and I've been raped, abused, married multiple times, had plastic surgery, been tattooed, pierced, been heavy, been thin - and I joke about it all, and more. I know I can be irreverent, and that's my nature. I take the **** out of everything.

But if my jokes are taken in a way that I did not intend, I'm also the first to apologise. I have terrible foot in mouth disease but I like to think I'm mature enough to say I'm sorry, and quickly, if I've hurt someone unintentionally. Like my mum used to say, a joke is a joke, but a poke in the eye is not funny.

To my credit though, I think I'm unconsciously fairly diplomatic most times, and don't often cause offence (unless I meant to, that is )

I also have the worst language in the world, and swear like a fishwife. And I use the c word if it applies. I wouldn't call the person a vagina, coz that's actually quite a nice thing, but I am happy to reserve the c word for people who absolutely deserve it as opposed to using it as a name for my genitalia, just quietly.

[Miss E]

Great thread!

I tend to think that anything that can be hurtful, offend or is related to a group that has been persecuted, shouldn't be joked about, especially not in a public space where it has the potential to upset others. By that I mean things related to body image, violence against others, sexual orientation, sexism, the holocaust, illness, mental health and the list goes on.

I'd by lying if I said I wasn't guilty at having laughed at jokes based on some of these things in the past and probably will in the future. Lets face it, there were very few of us who didn't find Borat funny!

But, I do my best to conduct myself in a way that isn't going to hurt or upset other people. That means using judgement, not just saying something to get a laugh, thinking before I speak about how what I'm saying could be perceived by others.

I choose not to use swear words that refer to genitals, well other than DH. I often drop the f-bomb. I also try to avoid name calling (well other than DH), be it bogan, witch, *****, cow or whatever - it's just counterproductive in my mind.

[sushee]

Oh and bogan has little connotations with being poor, in my experience. It is more about attitude. I use the word bogan all the time. I was surrounded by them in Perth. And it had nearly nothing to do with how much money they had, esp in Perth.

My daughter is a bogan, as is her bf. And they know it and laugh about it.

But then again, I'm the weird alternative rock-chick in Perth, and again, no connotations with finances, just attitude.

[Rouge]

Oh sush... you have lines though... don't pretend you don't.

And yes we are both going to hell for our sense of humour. But we joke about ourselves... not others. That's the difference.

[sushee]

I do have lines. I think that's when my moral compass kicks in. I will not hurt someone innocent intentionally.

But yes we will go to hell, you and me. But at least it'll be fun coz we'll be together!

[forshelby]

Im with Sushee. Pretty much anything goes, within reason. I don't want to live my life in a little box carefully studying the rules and regulations of the life I'm wasting.

A thought provoking thread, though. I'll think on it some more.

[sushee]

forshelby, you think you're wasting life? Why?

[luna moth]

I too became a Katie Price fan. As someone who works in he disability sector I see first hand how hurtful terms like 'mental' and 'spastic' can be to some people.

Retard.

(ETA - not calling you one, just adding it as an example!)

I get sucked in by what people around me are saying, and I end up using it too, even when I disagree with it.

I have a guttermouth, but I find it pretty easy to switch on and off.

Tourette's I will never joke about, or schizophrenia, and I will shoot down in flames anyone who does - they're both so misunderstood.

Animal cruelty and eating meat. I'm normally pretty placid about what other people do, but if they try to accuse someone else of animal cruelty, I will get offended and turn the mirror. And it's not funny to offer me the tray of meat or the cheese platter. It's actually pretty upsetting.

And safety - I got really upset when Magda Szubanski "joked" about using her car door to take out a cyclist. It only takes one perspn to not realise she's joking, and my baby girl is left without a dadda. So that sort of stuff, although I am fully guilty of joking about baby shaking.

Double standards - don't joke about them. I have so many I'll surely get offended!

[~*familyof3*~]

I to am like sushee. Pretty much anything goes yet im finding more and more things i am trying to stop saying