How do you do it, ladies? How do you get through each day, each week, carrying what feels like a ticking time bomb?
I'm 10w1d today. I lost my little one at 10w6d. Started bleeding at 10w5d. As I approach that day, my levels of anxiety are sky-rocketing. Yesterday I had cramping and almost had an anxiety attack. My heart was racing, my breathing shortened... I thought it was the end.
How can I keep this in check? How do you get through?
When will it feel ok?
I hate this
(Ladies who I am meeting on Monday - I will be 10w5d - so please be gentle with me...)
I am feeling the same OP, coming up to my day tomorrow, wondering if I will be able to feel joy during the entire pregnancy? Telling family tonight maybe their excitment will rub off on me and relax me??
It's hard. I had a m/c before DD1 and then when I was pregnant with her also had a bleed again at around the same time as the m/c. It was awful. And then I felt guilty that I wasn't as excited in her pregnancy, I didn't want to get too excited because I was afraid it wouldn't last. It was really scary. I think towards the end of second tri I relaxed more. Sorry you're feeling the same
Big big hugs to you. It is so hard. Particularly in the first trimester. I agree with others, one day at a time love. Keep yourself busy while still allowing time to process and grieve your angel. Do whatever you need to do to get through. I have found it got a lot easier from about mid-late second trimester (ie after the 24 week milestone) but I'm not sure it ever goes away altogether.
Thanks ladies. The next few days will be very busy which in a way is really good - but if I push it too far and get cramps then I'm going to be stressed again. Sigh!
Ladybird, I really hope telling family tonight will create a buzz. I've not told my DD yet. I know she will be excited but I don't want to crush her heart again if we lose this one.
When I get back from my little holiday, I'll be almost 12 weeks. It'll be so great to have that scan and be able to tell the greater world - I'm hoping that'll help.
Hugs hun I am no help as I stressed all thru both pregnancys after having a misscarriage first. I had all these silly ideas in my head such as if I always have a pad in my left pocket I wont bleed, and other crazy ideas!!!!!! But I can give hugs and say you are not alone xoox
Take it easy and I hope your stress and anxiety settles for you and lets you enjoy being preg xoox
I still cannot go back to that time as well as Buster's early pregnancy without becoming upset. Even though I know that without experiencing that loss I wouldn't have my 3 month old sleeping next to me right now...I still grieve and miss that bub and wonder what might have been.
Approaching the due date of my angel was difficult, I also had my two year old's birthday just a couple of days before so I was quite emotional to say the least! I think I was about half way through by that stage. Once all that was over I felt different, I embraced the pregnancy and made an effort to relax. I might not know what would happen but I could love and cherish what I had while I had it ITMS? Up until that point I couldn't even think about the pregnancy, it's like it wasn't happening. So to have that change was good.
I don't think it will ever completely go away for me. Two of my girlfriends had babies the week I was due. I saw one of those babies today & wondered what my bub would be doing if he or she were here.
One day at a time, one hour at a time if need be. Give yourself a pass to be a basketcase from time to time. Have a good cry. Write down how you feel.
Then pick yourself up, send bub lots of calm, healing light and let him/her know that Mummy is so happy to be growing a new baby. Mummy isnt sad about the new baby. Picture holding your baby in your arms in a calm, peaceful place. Talk to bub, sing to bub, whatever you need to do to reduce your and baby's stress levels.
Meditate, go for walks, be with nature. Walk on wet grass - it's grounding. Have a bath and play some calm music. Add some epsom salts - the magnesium will help. Eat well, get lots of sleep, watch funny movies. Laughter helps relieve stress.
And remember, today you are pregnant. This is a new baby and a new pregnancy. We never know what life will bring us, so cherish your changing body, nurture you growing little bub for as long as he or she is with you. Then he or she will be born safe and well in about 29 or so weeks
I understand where your coming from and I am still waiting for the stress and anxiety to leave.
The milestones help, 12 weeks was a big one, as was the morph scan, I guess its looking forward to the smaller more reachable milestones than the bigger picture and taking each section of the pregnancy apart like that.
Hugs for you and I hope the stress eases slightly.
As everyone has said, you survive it one day at a time. To me it seems like such a horrible extra punishment - you have your heart crushed losing a bub and then so much of the joy from your pregnancy is taken away too when you are consumed with anxiety. As blessed as we all feel to be pregnant again, its no longer a joy-filled experience where something going wrong is something that happens to someone else. Allow yourself the crap days when you feel like you just can't do it. If its a work day when your LOs are taken care of spoil yourself - call in sick and go to a movie, or just stay curled up in bed hiding away. Whatever you need to do to get by.
Hang in there lovely. As you get further along you'll find the bad days are well and truly outnumbered by the good days and in seemingly no time you'll be holding your gorgeous bubba in your arms.
I remember in the hours after I gave to birth to Reid I said "no more". I couldnt bear the thought of having to go through that again. Part of me still feels like that but there is always hope of holding a baby in your arms.
Reply With QuoteI wish I had some words of comfort for you, I was the same throughout my whole pregnancy. Thinking of you hun xxx.
Moderator
Anxious
Bookmarks