Divorce

[~clover~]

How does it work, what do you do? Costs etc?

Ex is now engaged. So he's going to have to get divorced from me

If they want this, they can do it. I just want to know how it all works. There'll be no settlements or anything. Nothing to split.

[Ryatha]

I've been processing my divorce online which seems a lot easier. I don't have much $$ and we don't have anything to split either. We are doing a joint application and as we don't have any issues with our child custody arrangements I think it will cost about $500.

[Sopdet]

Div will probably come in and post something.

If he applies, he pays, gets a court date, then he gets you served with the papers. From memory with kids you have to appear (Div can clarify).
If you both apply, you can decide to share the cost or he pays, you both sign & you get a court date.
If you apply, if you're on a health card I think it is free or reduced, you get a court date, you get him served with the papers.

[~clover~]

And if we're in different states? ( just to be difficult)

[Sopdet]

And if we're in different states? ( just to be difficult)

It is federal court but the court date will be set at the court where the documentation was lodged, so if he lodges it the court date with be set in his home state.

[sushee]

I married in WA so will lodge (jointly) with XH in WA. If we both sign, even if we have kids, we won't have to appear in court. I thinking lodging online will be about $600.

I suggest if he's in a different state and likely to apply in that state, look up the Family Law Courts website in that state to see how it works.

[RainbowRiver]

I had kids to my ex and didn't have to attend court at all (neither of us did). We done the paperwork jointly. We received letters stating a hearing date for court, then another the next month to say it had been heard and divorce granted.

[Amity]

WA is different to any other State as they have their own Family Law Act.

However, either of you can apply for a Divorce Order - see www.divorce.gov.au
Yes, it is online

If he applies, he has to pay the fee, and then appear at Court as you already have children. The Registrar will need to be satisfied that:
a) the parties were married,
b) separated at least 12 months prior to lodging the paperwork,
c) that the papers have been properly served in accordance with the Act and Rules,
d) that there is no possibility of reconciliation, and
e) that proper arrangements, in all the circumstances, have been made for the care, welfare and development of the children.

Leave it up to him. You don't need to do anything. It's his problem

[~clover~]

Thanks Div. As much as I'd love to be rid of it, I really can't afford it. He's in NSW, I'm in WA. Marriage took place in NSW.

Sounds like it would be easier if we were to sign jointly if he does apply though? Saves one of us travelling to the other state if we need to attend. But if we signed jointly would I have to pay half?

I know its only a few hundred, but I'm struggling enough with no help from him at all.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Just out of interest - does his fiancee know he is still married? Is he going to ignore the problem and just keep her as a fiancee and never marry, so pretend all is well there, but not divorce you?

[nothing2lose]

Sign nothing until you see some child support.

There is nothing more offensive than a man who pays no child support who goes on to have another family.

[~clover~]

Just out of interest - does his fiancee know he is still married? Is he going to ignore the problem and just keep her as a fiancee and never marry, so pretend all is well there, but not divorce you?

Yes, she knows. She was commenting about their bills when he rang to abuse me about child support the other night. He probably won't do it. Especially since he actually has to do something.

They've only been together a few months & not getting married won't stop him starting a new family (and doing the same to them). It wouldn't surprise me if he tells her he divorced me & married her anyway! Not that I'm even sure he really wants to. The immaturity that he's carrying on with & the way he's always going on about her makes me think its all about hurting me.

He told me they were already pregnant. Noone else has heard this though, including his family, so don't know if its true or not. But believe me, if he thought it would hurt me, he'd have another baby. Thats how low he is.

I was really worried about her, being so young. Til I found out that he's told her alot of stuff he did to me & that she actually agrees that his bull**** excuses were good enough reasons for it. So now, good luck to her. She's completely clueless & niave. You don't live with someone for 11 years & not learn how to see past the act & what I'm seeing is ALL an act.

[nothing2lose]

Oh Clover. It's like you are reliving my life

Hugs to you and remember, you have won each and every day you wake up and he is not part of your life

[~clover~]

I know that I'm just waiting for it to end, & while we have kids together, I don't think it ever will.
If he hasn't started to grow up at 30, he never will...

[nothing2lose]

My ex is almost 40 and he is still a child. They never change.

Thankfully they are someone else's problem now.

[Sopdet]

yup, mine is the same, I assume still is, haven't heard from him in a while (thank the gods), but he was the biggest child & if whoever he is with now allows that behaviour (which I assume they would) then he will be a child until the day he dies, taking no responsibility for his actions, not growing as a person, blaming everybody else for his problems and lying through his teeth to do a whole "poor me" thing

[cate202]

Haha pp... you describe my ex to an absolute T!! he's exactly like that too! nasty and disloyal as well... it was great to finally wake up one day and realise there was no changing him

[Footsteps]

How are things S? Hope your ok huni xx