Did u plan a large family and when was enough 4 your partner?

[savina]

Im wondering we have 4 kids and was thinkin how other couples went about knowing they were finished havin kids? dp is happy with 4 im thinkin later maybe 3 yrs down the track i may want another how did u come to a happy place ..
. did u ever find "were your other half was finished ... and u werent decided?"
fill me in on this one

[myson]

My dh only ever wanted 2. I always wanted to go for 3. We stopped at 2 for a long time and a while back my dh realized i was serious about wanting another one, so he said ok. hence the age gap, my girls are 11 and 8.

but i already know this is definately the last one.

[AmandaJ]

We've just had number 5, DH and I waited until number 4 was over 18mths before we discussed another as he wasn't sure and I defineately wanted another. After our talk we decided that yes we would have another and that would be it, as then our 4wd would be full etc. All through the pregnancy I defineately didn't want any more, but now I'm thinking that yeah I wouldn't mind another, but I know for a fact that DH doesn't, so I just have to accept that he has finished and enjoy every minute with our last.

I would talk to your DH and see if he truely doesn't want anymore or if he's open to the idea. I hope it works out for you, goodluck.

hugs xoxo

[SamiH]

We have just had our last - #3.

We wanted 4 children, but had 2 losses in-between my DD and DS2 - hence their 3.5 year age gap.

We have decided no more as I am getting older now too (37), and without sounding too weird about it - it must be what God planned for us

[aussienic]

Im wondering we have 4 kids and was thinkin how other couples went about knowing they were finished havin kids? dp is happy with 4 im thinkin later maybe 3 yrs down the track i may want another how did u come to a happy place ..
. did u ever find "were your other half was finished ... and u werent decided?"
fill me in on this one

my Dh thought he was done after number 3. I just wasn't done yet.. I can't explain it I just felt that urge.. We went onto number 4 and thats it for us..

I can't say that I don't want anymore because if I could keep having babies forever I would.

When we decided to go back for number 4 we put limits on it.. One of us had to get "fixed up" ( I did) and we had to conceive within the year( made it 11 months)

[savina]

very interesting?
i havent had a serious talk with him asits definetly not the right time yet ... but im going 2 avoid talking about him getting the snip.... 4 now give it some time,,,

[*Efjay*]

Im like this, I have just had my 4th & I would like another one I think. But DH wants no more. He is happy with 4. His reasons for no more is that he really suffers with anxiety while Im pregnant.

He has agreed not to get a snip untill I am ready to say ok no more.
Im only 28 & just feel I would be ripping my self off if I took away the chance for more kids.
Dh has just turned 36 though. But I could easily see myself with 5 or even 6 kids LOL.

[halltribe]

Ah Savina interesting issue - as for me we haven't got to the "no more kids" place yet. I am happy with my brood and don't want anymore just yet and so is DH but I am not ready to say no more yet neither is DH. I can't imagine stopping yet and I have heard of mothers going through a real grieving when thay can't have more children (either through age,op, sick health or other). I have friends who have or are saving to get vacsectomony reversals and wish they had never done it in the first place. If you have a good natural birth control going keep using it incase you want more. A little control now is better than a big op and costly op later.

Just a note - did you know that vacsectomonies are related to prostrate cancer?

[CathieW]

Hi
We have 5 children and I know that down the track I would love to have one more. Dh dosen't want anymore but I know that he will say yes when I start discussing the issue with him when i'm ready.

Dh is worried that we may have twins again.

Cathie

[New Dawn]

Ummm when I was UTD with #2 and found out she was a she we decided to stop at 2 she wasnt even a day old when I told BHL that I still want a 3rd....

Now that I have had our 3rd I want a 4th.... BHL has warmed to the idea....

I know that I will proble will want more but I dont think BHL will want a 5th...so I know that when UTD with the 4th that it will be my last so it will be a little bitter sweet...I am a bit like FJ as I am only 29 and feel if we went and got fixed up at such a early age there is no going back, but if we do nothing will I turn around at 35 and want more ? but we will just have to deal with these feelings as they come as thats all you can do...

[mrsr]

We had this discussion this morning...we've got two boys, one from my first marriage and one with DH. He would like another and I do, but I don't. I guess I'm just unsure as I'm 40 next year and have just lost a stack of post pregnancy weight and I don't fancy putting it all on again. Selfish I know...also he suffers from depression which is under control now but when I was pregnant with our youngest (Jack) DH was in a bad place and it really affected me throughout the pregnancy and I think I had a bit of PND as a result. I guess I'm also considering if I go through that again, will I come out the other end even worse than last time? I suppose I'd be looking for a guarantee that he wouldn't put me through crap again.

[kittykat]

12 months after the birth of our 4th DD i felt like i didnt want any more kids and DH was really against having another,so he went for the snip I felt we had four DD we had a hand full now so in 13 years time it would be so much harder but now that DD 4 is nearly turning 2 and 3 of our 4 are in school im thinking another wouldn t be so bad DH is dead set against it. I get clucking and think back when i was in hospital having them i such great expereinces in hospital thats not to says it was easy but i really enjoyed my time with them. But its not to be and i have to respect my DH reason for not having more and enjoy the hear and now not worry about what could have been we only have the now enjoy before to long they will be all grown up. For the ladies that have had DH have the snip would forster care be a option plenty of kids need good homes
kath

[savina]

kath . tottal;ly understand u...... and how u really respect your dh wishes..... but i do get clucky and trha whole baby in hosp i loved it ....so i really getcha...

wdyt? dh hasnt booked his snip yet or spoke about it .... he hant even siad that his gettin it done so im wondering do u think he may have reservations and just not saying anything 2 me? his excuse is money but if u were really worried u would get it done????

[~Serenity~]

hi all im 23 and have my three little angels but am already thinking of the next one i told my hubby after the second child that i was not doing anything to prevent any more(had implanon after #1 HATE NEEDLES)so if he didnt want anymore it was his responsibility and obviously i won that round and i keep telling him i want another and he has said he would like another girl but as long as he doesn't stop t what happens happens....i have had all three in god's timing...i wanted a baby at 15 but luckily took 3 yr to happen and each time has been in exactly the right time so when he says he doesnt want one right now in between the he wants another girls i ust tell him not to worry gods timing hasnt let us down yet....i do however have strict baby rules and would prefer a sept baby as in our family are 2 nov 2 july and 1 sept so i figure if i get a BFP for next months effort mixed with fact my last two were early i should be good otherwise im aiming for nov coz i like 2 month gaps in bdays

[Anila]

I am 31 and my hubby is 29, we are ttc baby #6 right now, my oldest is 7 and my youngest is 9 months.
I dont think i will ever be ready to say' we are done', i could go on forever having kids, my hubby has at this set time, put a limit to the amount of kids we have, that being 6, as i dont drive, he is relied apon greatly and it is very tiring for him, if i get my drivers licence, then we may be able to discuss having a #7 or 8, but untill then he is set on 6.
I know he is open to the idea of more kids, but it is hard to know that this next one could be my last.

[~Serenity~]

mum of 5 i know how you feel its very sad for me to think my next will be my last orthere may not even be a next good luck for tomorrow you get that BFP

[Anila]

Thanks mummymoni, but its not looking so good atm.

Also savina, hubby and i never planned on having a big family, i wanted 2 kids and he told his mum that he was never having kids at all, then we met, we had an opsie, and she was the best thing ever to happen to us, after #2 which was a boy everyone said ,oh pigeon pair you dont need any more kids', so we gave everything away, then one night, hubby and i are watching tv, and we just both looked at each other and said something is missing, we need another child, when she was born, i thought i would really like another one hubby said no, i accepted that, then he changed his mind, when it came to #5 we just dtd and if it resulted in pregnancy we were both fine with that, then i said i want one more, hubby said no, i was just accepting that when he did a 180 and said ok we can try in april 09, well that has been upgraded to dec 08.
Hubby likes the idea of one day when all the kids are grown, they come around for a bbq with their partners and our grandkids, and we all have a massive family get together.

[AmandaJ]

mum of five that is what my DH and I are looking forward too as well, having all the grandkiddies around especially christmas and easter. I too would just keep going and going but DH has said no more, I have to accept that but it is hard to think I'll never have anymore bubs .

hugs xoxo