Would you be doing the same thing or am I too harsh?
DS is always told to stay away from the computer (hangs off the wall on the end of the couch) and its not usually too much of an effort to get him to go away when you tell him to. So he KNOWS he is not allowed to play around it, or the table next to it.
So today, I was dealing with a horrid nappy of Miss M - elbow deep in crap so to speak - and he tips half a jug of water over our hard drive (our back up) which was sitting on the table as we did a back up last night.
I was sooooooooooooo angry - I saw red. I told him to get to his bedroom. Which he didn't (no surprise, he rarely obeys me) and he just sat there. Meanwhile, I finish up with what I'm doing, dump her in her cot, grab him and take him to his bedroom. So both kids are screaming at me (she's wayyyy overtired) and I go to deal with her. I get her to sleep and come out to clean up cos I didn't want electrical stuff sitting in a whole heap of water for too long.
So I cleaned up - he's still screaming - so I ask him to say sorry. He refuses to. Now, I now he CAN say sorry - he speaks in almost FULL sentences ffs, so I know he can do it. I take his bear, his stuffed dog and his dummy off him.
45 minutes later he FINALLY calms down - still won't say sorry.
I'm holding the doggy and dummy for ransom to get my "Sorry"
So he's still upset (and tired, but won't sleep without doggy and dummy). And I'm a stubborn cow so I'm inclined not to give in to him, because he's 26 months old, he can say "sorry" but refuses to, and he needs to learn that if you do something bad, you have to say sorry instead of just giggling and running off.
I don't even know if the hard drive is stuffed or not.
Soooo.. would you be giving the puppy back or not? (I'm actually thinking it could be a good time to chuck away the dummy! lol)
If I'm being too harsh, don't be afraid to say - all opinions are welcome (mainly cos I know how stubborn I am)
hmm I agree now may be a good time to toss the dummy. IMO after this long he may not even know why he is so upset (water/computer) & mostly upset because you took the puppy & dumy away.
I would say go sit with him, or better yet bring him out & show him what he did, don't get angry with him again. Just say look what you did with the water, this is not a good thing to do. It might be broken now (if your not sure it is). I have your Puppy here & if you can say you are sorry you can have him back. Or maybe even settle for a cuddle. Be a little flexible, after all he is only 2. But I wouldn't hold out on the puppy for a sorry for too long.
If he asks for the dummy just say sorry mate, its broken like the computer. But here you go, here is pUppy.
Count to 10, I so know what it slike to find that sort of thing has gone on when you are tied up with another little one.
i do the same with DD's sheepie, lately she thinks it ok to swing it around and hit ppl with it, so it gets taken off her until she says sorry, normally takes a good half hour of her screaming hysterically bcoz ive got sheep and wont give it back
This gave me flash backs from few nights ago... DS is obcessed with bubbles and is always in the pump soap and water trying to make what he thinks is bubble solution. After 5 times of me saying stop it and stop putting it on the computer table bang there goes a huge glass of water all over the printer... I know how u feel. what made it worse was i said "see what happens when you dont listen would you like me to spill water over your toys to which he proceeds to run his thomas the tank engine trains under water (he was supposed to be sittin gon his bed) when i busted him his reply was see i dont care if water gets on them....
He bnawled his eyes out when he realised it meant they wouldnt work anymore...
I dont think what you did was harsh. Its not too much to expect a sorry. I still struggle to get DS to apologise.. wish i had of been on it earlier.
Realistically, he is at an age were he wants to push things to see how far he can get with you. He has to learn some how. Even though it seems harsh, and he is upset it's good that you're standing your ground to treach him...
Stay strong, you will be thankful in the long run that you did...
I think you are probably feeling a tad guilty for taking his precious puppy away as i know i would, so i would do what fiona said, but good time to get rid of the dummy. Good luck.
Hell no he wouldn't be getting them back. I am a stickler for rules and things, and when you make a threat (your not getting them back till you say sorry) it is SO important that you stick to it.
I threw Chases beloved fairy dress out the other day. I told him if he didn't pick up his dressups, I was going to throw it out. It is his FAVOURITE thing in the whole wide world, he didn't think I would, well he bawled his eyes out when it went in the bin. Tough titties he should have cleaned it up.
Saying sorry isn't too much to ask from a 2 year old. I would be explaining to him AGAIN what he did wrong, and asking for a sorry again. If he refuses maybe tell him you will be taking it for the day and put it up somewhere. He needs to learn that your the boss and you need to follow through with your threats otherwise he will walk all over you.
I tend to hold precious things at ransom too. You made me laugh when i read that.
When we got rid of DS#1's dummy he still had his puppy to comfort him so he actually coped really well without his dummy. Its worth a try - make the most of the opportunity.
Good luck - i am a stubborn person too and i know how hard it can be to back down.
DS does need to learn though !
I hold Dolly to rasom if Sarah does things she knows she isn't allowed to do, like pushing or damages something that she is not supposed to touch. She has to apologise and give a cuddle before Dolly comes back.
I don't think you are being too harsh. Think about it this way, You are not hurting him. You are not doing anything that can injure him. You have told him how to get it back and he is refusing. What he did could have injured him (Water is a conductor and he could easily have gotten an electric shock.) I think you are doing the right thing hun. He needs to learn that doing dangerous things has huge consequences.
I wouldn't be tossing the dummy over this, as I think its better to give up comfort items as a "growing up stage" not as a punishment IMO. It would be like removing night time snuggles because he was naughty, quite a big punishment IMO, and one that doesn't fit the crime. I personally would go and sit with him and talk to him as Nessa suggests. Still keep doggy out of reach (on top of the fridge or something so its still visable to him). I like to these situations as an opportunity to communicate, or show them how to communicate through you explaining how you feel, and to offer an analogy he might understand. To a 26 month old a hard drive would look like a funny little box, and would be hard for them to see how it could be so important. I dunno just my thoughts.
Ok been thinking a bit more, I can't think of a time I ever used either of my kids comfort items as a form of punishment. Have you thought of explaining to DS that what happened would be similar to you putting doggy in the toilet. Ask him if that would make him sad if doggy got all soggy and yucky from being in the toilet, and would he want you to say sorry. Also explain that even when we do something that is an accident its also nice to say sorry. I'm just worried that taking away his most precious thing without him knowing that was going to happen is like saying to him, if you destroy something of mine I'll take something of yours. I would definitely be saying he has to stay in his room until he can say sorry and talk to you about it, and I would keep going in periodically but I'm not sure I'd be keeping any comforters, and I definitely wouldn't throw away the dummy.
I know I'm totally in the minority here, and I am not passing judgement so please don't think that. Just my thoughts...
I did sit with him - all throughout the tantrums, and just kept on repeating... if you say you are sorry, you get puppy back... tipping the water over was naughty and dangerous, you could have been hurt... please say sorry to mummy .. but he just kept on screaming dogggggg... dogggg.. myyyy dogggg...
He got over it eventually and cheered up a bit. Realised why he was so quiet - he had stolen the puppy back.. LOL... little bugger... so the screams started again.. but I never left him just scream it out (unless I was tending to her cos I'm only the one person and I comfort who I can!)
I caved in cos he was being a little bit of a PITA when I had visitors so I gave him his dog and his dummy and he went to sleep
honestly I would have given then back.. My 2 middle boys have comfort items and they are night nighta (blankets) and while I have put them up high to get them to tidy thier rooms or if they have done something super naughty I also find they get really upset and its not worth the unsettled household
I thiknk I would have got him to mop up the water from the floor and table (if it was safe) and then continued talking about why it was naughty to tip the water out..
While I also like kids to apoligise I think if you demand it then it isn't a proper apology cus they are just apoligising to shut you up (at least mine do lol) Maybe next time you do something make double sure you apoligise and make it known you are apoligising because you did someting wrong..
I hope I am making sense here......
I would ask for a apology right away but after a while its useless because I don't think at 26 months they don't get the whole thing.. After a while they do forget what they have done..
anyways Mrs Ramble will head off now as I have a screaming child sigh
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Would you be doing the same thing or am I too harsh?
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