Conflicting feelings about more kids OR snip snip.

[mumofmany]

DH has been to the GP for a pre-consult to get the snip snip..

i'm a lil conflicted. we've both said NO more kiddies, but the thought of NEVER been able to have anymore together is so final.

I wud love more, but I don't think i could financially or emotionally support anymore.

Has anyone had these thoughts and gone on to have more kids?

[Lisa]

My DH & I know that this bub is going to be our last. As much as I would looooooove loads more, emotionally I just can't do it again... physically it is becoming harder too.
DH & I have agreed that after this baby has turned 1 he will look at getting the snip done... we're giving ourselves a year to really decide if this is 100% what we both want.

[aussienic]

When I had my 4th I knew I was done physically and I was pretty sure mentally as well. I had my tubes tied as I was having a cs so was easier for me to do it..

Now I think its the best thing I ever did. of course for a bit there I wished I could have more but phsically, mentally and financially it just wasn't ever going to happen so I am really glad I got it done now

[Marlene]

After my 3rd I thought I would never want another bub...but after 7 years I desperately wanted another one, and that's how Jack came about. Now Jack is one and I am already contemplating the next, LOL.
I think if you are still not 100% sure, you should not go through with the snip...it is so final. Only do it once you are BOTH 100% certain.

[maz]

I have to say.....I have regrets yet know for the sake of my children that another baby would be stretching it for us.

I miss having a newborn..that softness...that little person who you are their world to 24/7....i think to in my case its due to the trama of Mateauz birth and his first 3 motnhs of life as I feel I missed them.

I am now focussing on watching my babies grown now and enjoying the love we share and journey's we are creating in our life together

[Inertia]

Its funny - DH and I are like fully certain that lil Phe is our last. We both feel that its too much of me to ask. The HG diagnosis - the fact that I have made myself so ill from it and put my babies at risk of future problems without even knowing. We just can't do that again.

Yet - neither of us are anywhere near ready to take the permenant plunge. I think you need to be mentally prepared for that too. The reason why is think of the heart ache and struggles of IVF couples. Its putting ourselves into their shoes on purpose. Going from having this wonderful ability to having almost no hope at all. Its not something we can do to ourselves either.

Talk about difficult. No help, I know, but at least it lets you know that you guys are not alone in this.

[Lisa]

After my 3rd I thought I would never want another bub...but after 7 years I desperately wanted another one, and that's how Jack came about. Now Jack is one and I am already contemplating the next, LOL.
I think if you are still not 100% sure, you should not go through with the snip...it is so final. Only do it once you are BOTH 100% certain.

Marlene... this is exactly why DH and I reeeeeeeeally want to wait. I was certain I was done with having babies after my first 2... then when my DD was 7, we decided to start trying again. If we'd done something permanent, we wouldn't have our DS2 here with us now.

[Counting Days]

the solution does not always need to be the final snip snip
there are so many other alternatives that are so easy to remove without surgery

[mumofmany]

the solution does not always need to be the final snip snip
there are so many other alternatives that are so easy to remove without surgery

i spose. i'm just over putting chemicals in my body. i don't want to go ont he pill. i have a strong family history of high BP, strokes and heart attacks. Personally, I have really low BP..

I think i'm juts inlove with giving birth.. and.. having a NB.. i'm exhausted 24/7 so there is no way i could have another. plus financially..

we are intending to send them all to catholic shcools.. plus.. with their dance, softball and swimming.. money money money.

but.. i would just looooove a bigger family. the problem is i think DH doesn't care either way.. which makes it hard for me. If i do the wrong thing, he'll resent me..

agrh..
men!

[Counting Days]

the pill is not what I was referring to I can't stand it, taking something everyday is so annoying and the pill is so old

have a look at this What contraceptive are you? far far more than the pill and no need for chemicals either

and please do not accept the guilt of the wrong thing that is a load of crap make him take some responsibility for the decision and also keep in mind who's body it is

[Lisa]

I am in the same boat as MOM. There is nooooooooo way I would ever take the pill again, and I have heard waaaaaaaay too many IUD horror stories (my aunt fell pregnant with my cousin with an IUD in, and there was a worry it could implant in him as he was developing! Scary stuff)
I don't want to put chemical hormones into my body so I will always refuse the injection & implant, but have been advised by my GP that they're not an option for me due to the side affects I suffer from the contraceptive pill.
Tube tying is a very invasive operation and not something I feel is for me... my DH agrees with that too.
That leaves us either using condoms for the rest of our fertile lifespan or the option of him having the snip, which he is more than happy to do as long as we're both 100% certain we're ready for it.

[halltribe]

Good thread MOM. I am kinda in the same boat, I hvae 7 kids and I have just had a horrible six weeks in and out of hospital with my oldest CP with numerous complications, we have been in Brisabne (live in Hervey Bay) and the logistics of doing something Iike we are doing with is a nightmare. I would love to have more kids but I need to be able to cope with the needs of the children I have. Again I am not into the pill, etc and am using semi natural methods but not fail proof ( I have just miscarried again). But when I look at my youngest I hate to think that he will be my last baby and would dearly love more but ....I just don't know and I don't have any answers, in a perfect world.......?

[hobbes5]

Hi MOM

DH and I made the decision not to have any more kids after my number 5, he went in and had the snip. My body couldn't take it and mentally, we were both tired as no. 4 and 5 was born pretty close together.

But, I guess it wasn't meant to be stopping at 5 because I fell pregnant after 6mths of his snip...just when we thought, "Oh no, not another baby!" we find out we'll be expecting ID twins!

Anything can happen, yes, would be pretty sad if all possibilities was closed off if you and hub changes mind on wanting more kids, but I heard you can reverse the snip on a guy if you want to have more kids later....

[Me+him+bub]

mumofmany - i dont know how you do it look at the size of all your bubs and they werent even full term! WOW! i dont have much advice for you as me and my DF have pretty much decided he will most likely get the snip after our first and only child due to the physical issues i have with pregnancy and im never doing this again! but i wish you the best in making a decision, i also remember a few months back your hubby posted on BB stating he wanted another bub!

[Lisa]

MHB - It was Mummyofmany's DH that posted on here. It can get confusing... I remember them by their avatars (and because mummyofmany is a FB friend too)

[Me+him+bub]

oh woops haha im sorry! that will teach me to mind my own business!

[Dustmite]

If one or neither of you are in the "permanent" camp, maybe you two should look at other forms of BC until you both can say you are definitely happy with a permanent state.