Thinking of you, sweetie. This is a horrific time for you and I wish I could do more than just send virtual hugs and you and your DH.
I'm thinking of you so much.
You don't have to be strong. You are a mother who has lost her child. You can cry and scream and do whatever you want. Don't feel embarressed by what other people may think if you lose it a bit at ther ceremony.
Lean on your DH. Let him lean on you. You guys need each other. Let it all out, otherwise its going to build up and it'll all become very nasty.
You need to grieve for your little girl.
Keep hanging in there. Thinking of you so so much.
It's OK to break down. You will be breaking down every day for a while now. It's so so hard planning your baby's funeral - it feels unreal that you have to do this thing. At the same time, you want it to be perfect. Go slow, make lists, delegate to family where you feel you can (I put mum in charge of flowers and catering). Take time out when you need to.
Neither Dh nor I spoke at our son's funeral. Our lovely celebrant did a wonderful job with our help. We included poems and notes from mummy and daddy. There were notes from grandparents read out. Dad read his own. We had soft baby music. DH carried our baby's little blue coffin out at the end to the hearse. I was crying but OK up til then. That's when I lost it -saying goodbye at the end.
I don't know if you have a chance to see Hayley in her coffin before the funeral. We saw Leo the night before, just the 2 of us. It was important for me to say goodbye and see he looked so beautiful and peaceful. We even took pictures, which we weren't sure we'd do. We put things in his coffin to take with him. We set up the room with pictures of our son and toys and a quilt mum made for him.
For me, it was important that everyone saw he was real and he was perfect, so we had a photo album and other pictures in frames.
Just hang on to your husband. We only wanted each other - I didnt want anyone else touching me. There will be others there to support you and grieve with you, but this is all about you as a family of 3. For you and your DH to honour your baby girl.
Everyone has given you such great advice already hun, just wanted to send some hugs your way.
I know with my sister it was very hard for her and she did break down but it is an important part of the grieving process and like tashybabe she only really wanted her husband which is understandable.
Will be thinking of you on saturday.
Huge
There is no right or wrong way to grieve...if you need to break down...break down, need to scream, yell, curse, get angry go with it. I think it is very understable.
I will be thinking of you and your DH on Saturday and will also light a candle for little Hayley xx
I'm very very sorry for the loss of you sweet baby girl.... I've been where you are now, so understand your pain hon. I found I got through the funeral... it was the lonely and painful months afterwards that killed me... when everyone else is enjoying their live babies, and I'm home with just a few memories. It's going to take you a long time to feel 'normal' again... but the sheer weight of the grief you are now carrying will start to get lighter, I promise. Do everything you need to do to honour your girl at her funeral.... my thoughts are with you during this devastating time xo
Thinking of you today Ahurani, I hope you can feel the support and love from all of us here on BB. Take comfort in your family and friends who can be there with you today as you send off Hayley May to fly free
im really thinking of you today Koby xoxox do what you need to do to heal yourself, if you need to break down, then go with it. im so sorry that you need to say goodbye to your little girl like this, it really is the hardest thing i've ever done saying goodbye to my little boy, but somehow i got through it. i just hope that somehow you find some strength somewhere inside you as well. sending lots of love and thoughts xoxoxoxoxox
Reply With Quote
. Will be thinking of you on Saturday and will light a candle for beautiful little Hayley
Bookmarks