Everything you're going through is normal. Grief for your little one and grief for the loss of innocence. All I can say is that when you get there, you can manage it. There are good days and bad. All normal. All part of grief.

I know for me, counselling has helped, which we started about a month after our son died. I dont want to either disassociate or focus too much on this pregnancy. Neither is healthy. I know it can happen again. Right now, I'm breaking it down into small steps and managing each one. Imagining the bad possibilities just does my head in and sends me into a very dark space. I'm not being Pollyanna about it, I'm just trying to get through one day at a time. We have very good support I can reach out to when I need it.

I hope it was OK for me to write this here. I know you're in a different place. Go with the grief. Let it be. You'll come through, though you'll feel your taking steps forward and back all the time. You'll miss your little girl everyday for the rest of your life. It gets easier, then it gets worse, then it gets easier and so on.

Go gently