I am so very sorry for your loss, it is just so awful. I lost my first baby at 26 weeks, he would be 21 this year. Never feel like you have to be strong, or you have to keep it all inside. Cry and yell as much as you like. I'm now pregnant with my 5th baby and every pregnancy gives me the crazies. Remember that you are not alone and it has happened to other people, without any reason or explanation. I wish you all the best in love and healing xx