Hi Sara, I'm also sorry that you need to write this letter.

I have a few suggestions, you can use them or not!

Definitely address the letter to someone specific.

Replace the term 'pelvic bleeding' with 'vaginal bleeding'. I think someone else mentioned this? Pelvic bleeding would indicate an internal bleed.

'On being discharged from the ED, my loss increased significantly and I returned to triage.' Places the responsibility for you leaving on the hospital, they discharged you. I assume you then passed through the triage nurse again? Once more, places responsibility on the hospital staff.

Explain what the doctor did to make you think he was rude and arrogant. Was it something specific or his attitude in general. Was her condescending or disinterested? I would elaborate this point.

Instead of 'explore the matter further' I would say 'investigate the matter further'. It is a doctor's job to investigate a patient's condition.

'My request was refused' instead of 'my request was declined'.

I understand that you may have used a capital 's' for son to place importance on the term, but I would suggest that you remove the capitals and personalise the statement by saying 'I delivered my son, Reid...'.

It is my belief that the treatment I received... was utterly inadequate and contributed...'.

'Whilst I understand that nothing can be done to bring Reid back, I expect that my case will be thoroughly investigated. I request that you review the policies of XYZ hospital regarding the treatment of women presenting to your emergency department with conditions relating to early pregnancy. It is my hope that other women can be spared the anguish that I experienced due to the attitude and behaviour of your staff.'

'I would be pleased to meet with you to discuss this matter further and I look forward to you contacting me at your earliest convenience.'

I would remove the last sentence in your draft. Unfortunately, the chance of a baby delivered before 20 weeks gestation surviving is nil. (I think the youngest bub ever to survive was about 22w 5d??) I think to say that it is 'unlikely' suggests that you are unrealistic. (Sorry...!! I feel bad typing that.)

Feel free to ignore everything I have said!!

Sara, I'm really sorry for the loss of Reid and for the treatment that you received.