sigh...... sometimes the weight of sadness seems too heavy to bear, that the world conspires against me and sometimes my angels lift me to places I never dreamed I could go.... sometimes it feels like a distant dream that my first 4 babies died, and some times the reality is heartbreakingly stark and I wonder just how I endured it and continue to do so... sometimes there is beauty and sometimes there is pain...... but always, they are only a heart beat away and always they inspire me....is this life after loss?