Glad you are feeling more confident with your new doctor. I have had an up and down week. Some days I wonder where it all went so wrong and why it had to happen to me! I get angry and then really sad. I miss my little boy so much and every day I wish he was here.
I am starting back at work fulltime on Monday and I am so scared. I still find I have days where I have no motivation to do anything and now I am going to have to go to work whether I want to or not. It is scary!
I hope you are getting stronger. Just know I am tyhinking of you and sharing your grief.
I lost a little girl at 18wks but we found out she was gone at 19wks 5 days, i had her at 19wks 6days.
The most important thing you can do is allow yourself to grieve. I didnt do this proparly and i paid for it, and still am really.
The men seem to be able to pick themselves up fairly quickly after. I found this with my DH. I was upset because he didnt seem upset anymore. He said he was but its not like it was for me, for him. He said he didnt carry her etc so it was different, but he understood why i was so upset still and he was supportive of me. Try to have an open line of communication with your DH about this, its important that you support each other during this time.
Its good that you have found a good dr. The grief counselling is extremely important, i didnt get this and i realised later how much i really needed it. It was meant to be offered to me through my hospital but i got lost in the system.
You talked about feeling like you wanted to do something for your baby. I was the same. I bought a ruby pendant that i normally wear on a necklace all the time. (We named her Rubee) A few months later DH bought me another ruby pendant, but this one is a ruby in the middle of a heart. I also have ruby studs for earrings. I also scrapbooked an album for her, which i found very therapeutic. I havent finished it yet (3yrs later) but i am starting to feel like im ready to look at finishing it. I put her scan pics, hand and foot prints, cards from friends, pictures of the garden she is in, anything i had that is about her is in her album.
Sending you lots of strength and wishing you all the best for the future
Last edited by kristi14; October 24th, 2008 at 02:50 AM.
Hi Kristi,
I love the ruby idea. My husband said that he had intended to buy a piece of jewellry for me when our baby was born and we talked about it again and have decided to have a ring made using Max's birthstone (sapphire) and we'll have it engraved with his name and birthdate.
I had my first session with a bereavement counsellor on Friday. I wish I could say that I got a lot out of the session but to be honest, she really didn?t tell me anything that I didn?t already know. She wants to see me again and I will go but essentially she said that I need to grieve (yep), that no one can tell me that I?m grieving for too long or too much (ok), and I need to give myself some space to grieve (right-o). Ultimately, it?s going to take time.
For now I?m putting my energy into knitting some outfits to replace the ones that were given to my little boy. Seeing him dressed and being able to hold him wrapped in a blanket was very special and I would like to give that back to someone in the same situation.
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