You aren't alone in this. Although our situations are different, Ijust wanted to let you know I wasn't able to TTC after my mc for 2.5 years. My DP was adamant he didn't want the baby we lost, or any other for that matter.

Suddenly one day he changed his mind and is possibly more excited than me to start a family.

Probably none of what I've said was helpful, but I couldn't read and not respond. I feel your pain and understand how much it hurts when something we want so badly is not within reach. It seems a million miles away, but please have faith that with each passing day you're that little bit closer to meeting the babies I know you are meant to have. If you ever need to vent, PM me hun.