Definitely do not ignore what has happened. Offer sympathy and ask how she is feeling. I want people to talk about dd2 using her name (she was rcently born sleeping at 39 weeks). I don't know if this is for everyone but I like to talk about her birth and what happened in be lead up and afterwards. I like it when people ask how my dh is cos they tend to get forgotten and I especially like it when people recognise that she is my second and that my next will be my third. I also love it when people ask to see her photo cos it is really unexpected and shows that people saw her as a real person and are not scared or the fact that she was sleeping. Hope this helps a little bit. Xo
Also, in my opinion, it definitely doesn't make it harder when people talk about it...it's much harder when they don't. It's really nice of you to be so considerate and thoughtful about all of this, she will really appreciate it I am sure
Last edited by Lily Dust; December 20th, 2012 at 07:47 AM.
: Merging posts
Acknowledging their child and saying his/her name is very important. Maybe a card to say how sorry you are and that you're thinking of her and her partner. Christmas this year (and every year) will be hell, so any support will help.
Also understand that she may not be able to be around pregnant women or babies. Don't take it personally. It's just part of the grief.
I sent her and her husband some flowers (poor girl - has horrific allergies but I couldnt think of what else to send) and a handmade card that expressed how sorry I was that their journey into parenthood has begun with such sadness. I called baby by name in the card and I left my contact details with her (forgot to give them to her before she went on leave ) and have left that in her court as to if she wants to contact me or not.
I havent seen her since the funeral. Her return to work will likely be the first time. Ive marked baby's DOB on my calendar so that I can do a little something for her/them next year. Im not sure if she will want me to or not though as I dont want to upset her or make things harder for her at work. But then, she may take that time off work too.
L&B I've just read through that information sheet and its very helpful. Thank you for posting that.
Reply With Quote
) and have left that in her court as to if she wants to contact me or not. 
Bookmarks