I had a lawyer (different than my usual one) go OFF at me for speaking to my very mature 5 year old about access visits. She said "The court will be so angry at your for discussing it with her"
I said what the F***?? Its all about HER, of course I will talk to her about it!!

I don't think they have a say til around 12, the argument is that they're minds arent mature enough to understand the situation properly and parents can influence their descisions too much