turtleschell, i have done that, i think it works to a degree, but i think all she hears is that i used to do the things she wants to do and im ok, rather than the 'learn from my mistakes' view i was trying to give.

Clover, you are 100% right, i cant tell her what to do or stop her doing what she is going to do. just hoping to help her avoid anything to terrible! and she will always be my baby sister...what am i going to be like when its DD going out with boys......aghrrr