Lulu,
I totall understand where you are coming from. I don't want Alecia to be a follower, it can lead a young girl into big strife!! In my house there are not many conformist views, we don't follow fashions, we don't follow any particular political parties, we don't read magazines etc. I am all for individuality. For a few years I didn't shave, and it was very obvious (thanks to get my fathers Italian genes). But I went through the whole wanting to shave etc as a preteen, I went thro the I want what what everyone elses got phase. I think it's part of being a young person in todays society. I can't expect Alecia to understand the whole 'don't conform' attitude when she has little idea or care about any of todays big issues.
I am a 'feminist', and I apreciate the hard slog many women went through for me to be able to go to uni with men and to be a single mum (although I am not anymore).
Having said that I don't want my daughter to find out that shaving her legs is such a big issue and one worth crying about bacause of a group of girls have been taught to be shallow and find it uplifting to bring another girl down about it. My sister said to me last night that she felt forced into shaving her legs because of other girls at school, she didn't even think about shaving her legs untill the girls at high school started to pick on her.
It's scary that something so small can damage a girls self esteem, and I'll be damned if it will be my dd self esteem that is damaged because I want to teach my daughter not to be a sheep.
I hope this isn't coming across as if I am angry about what you said because I'm not, I really do apreciate your view and it is one that I have thought about previously, but a girl of 12 isn't thinking about conforming, but the best posible way to fit in, and to be accepted, and I think we need to apreciate that, and look at it with the mind of a 12 yo.

Also thanks to every one who has replied, you have really put me at ease. My parner just don't want her to be sexual... which is I guess what hair removal is all about. It's funny because he go more upset about me taking her school dress up a couple of inches (a photo of Alecia's altered school dress is on my website, see the www link below my sig). It was almost below her knee!! silly boy!

Thanks again

Tanya