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Thread: hair removal

  1. #19
    Jackie Guest

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    Hi Lulu, my daughter will be 15 in May, as yet no major issues have arrived, well none that I have heard of,but kids being we don't always hear everything.
    I know where you are coming from when you say you're feeling powerless about the times ahead, I guess you just have to know and trust that you have done everything in your power to make sure that she is aware of what is out there.
    My daughter is at the stage where she wants to go to shopping centres with her friends and get there by bus, it has taken me a long time to let her do this, she has really had to show me that she can be responsible, so far so good.
    She is doing a self defence class as well (Aikido) she loves this, and it gives us peace of mind that she will be able to look after herself better if need be. Every little bit helps


  2. #20

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    I remember the Emjoi - It definatley wasn't 'gently' was it!!

    Nic

  3. #21

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    Lulu,
    I totall understand where you are coming from. I don't want Alecia to be a follower, it can lead a young girl into big strife!! In my house there are not many conformist views, we don't follow fashions, we don't follow any particular political parties, we don't read magazines etc. I am all for individuality. For a few years I didn't shave, and it was very obvious (thanks to get my fathers Italian genes). But I went through the whole wanting to shave etc as a preteen, I went thro the I want what what everyone elses got phase. I think it's part of being a young person in todays society. I can't expect Alecia to understand the whole 'don't conform' attitude when she has little idea or care about any of todays big issues.
    I am a 'feminist', and I apreciate the hard slog many women went through for me to be able to go to uni with men and to be a single mum (although I am not anymore).
    Having said that I don't want my daughter to find out that shaving her legs is such a big issue and one worth crying about bacause of a group of girls have been taught to be shallow and find it uplifting to bring another girl down about it. My sister said to me last night that she felt forced into shaving her legs because of other girls at school, she didn't even think about shaving her legs untill the girls at high school started to pick on her.
    It's scary that something so small can damage a girls self esteem, and I'll be damned if it will be my dd self esteem that is damaged because I want to teach my daughter not to be a sheep.
    I hope this isn't coming across as if I am angry about what you said because I'm not, I really do apreciate your view and it is one that I have thought about previously, but a girl of 12 isn't thinking about conforming, but the best posible way to fit in, and to be accepted, and I think we need to apreciate that, and look at it with the mind of a 12 yo.

    Also thanks to every one who has replied, you have really put me at ease. My parner just don't want her to be sexual... which is I guess what hair removal is all about. It's funny because he go more upset about me taking her school dress up a couple of inches (a photo of Alecia's altered school dress is on my website, see the www link below my sig). It was almost below her knee!! silly boy!

    Thanks again

    Tanya

  4. #22
    Jackie Guest

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    My DH is the same with my DD, she dresses pretty sensibly for a 15 year old when she goes out, meaning she doesn't wear crop tops with her hipsters etc. but if she has a tshirt on that is a bit shorter and a bit of belly shows, he will want her to change it. It's a bit hard not to show a bit of belly with the only jeans you can buy being hipsters and most t's are pretty short..... Most of her friends wear crops and little singlet tops, but she isn't comfortable wearing them.
    She has a mind of her own and wont let other kids talk her into doing things she doesn't want to do which is a huge relief iykwim...
    Btw Tanya, nothing wrong with the length of that dress

  5. #23

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    Aikido is a terrific idea, my girlfriend did it for a long time. It seems to be a little more about the flow of the body and mind as well as strength and self-defence. Very cool!!
    I was sports mad when I was 15 and I'm convinced that had a lot to do with me having the confidence to avoid paths that many of my friends chose. Having a place I belonged outside school was salvation sometimes. I didn't have problems with peer groups or anything, but when there is so much going on within your own head (and body!), belting a ball around the court was a great release.

    Tajemi isn't it scary?! Just before DD's 12 bday I realized that she had lost the last traces of babygirl (especially in her face). It must be awful for the really early bloomers.

    I distinctly remember being teased for not shaving in high school. It just hadn't occurred to me yet. God I'm glad they never noticed my EYEBROW/S!!!

  6. #24

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    Well, not having a daughter (but I do have an almost 13yo stepdaughter who lives with her Mum) it's a bit interesting for me to read this!

    I was never told anything about menstruation or hygiene at all. When I got my period at age 9 (yes you aren't reading wrong) I thought I was dying. It was a number of months before I realised what was going on.

    My mum only ever bought me those "nanna" pads as well. I used to use folded up toilet paper sometimes if AF arrived (because at that time I wasn't regular) because I was too ashamed to ask the school nurse for a pad. Mind you this was in grade 5!

    My first bra was a 12B in grade 4, by the age of 14 I was in a 14DD, and when breastfeeding was in a 18GG.

    I've never shaved/waxed my legs, nor felt peer pressure to do so. And I was a high level basketball player. I used to tell people (if I was asked, which was rarely) that I didn't want to shave or wax, and if they had a problem with that then it was their issue, not mine.

    I do shave my underarms (but I only need to do so about once every two months). I'm not a very hairy person at all.

    And each of my partners has never bothered to ask why I don't shave. In fact, none of them has cared.

    I guess I'm a bit more individual than most, and I have a strong personality, so it (shaving or not shaving) has always been my choice. My sister shaves her legs and bikini line (I don't have a bikini line) and that has been her choice. Each to their own.

    Power to the women (whatever their choice!)
    So there's my two cents!

  7. #25

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    I will be happy to take maddy off to get waxed etc, I think I will be happier that she has come to me & asked about this type of thing rather than snuck around doing it with her g/f's!

    I have no problem with anything as long as she discusses it with me, rather than sneaking & doing it her way anyway, which is what I did!!!!

  8. #26

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    My DD Ariani is 14 (almost 15) now and I have to admit that she starting shaving her legs, underarms and God knows what else from the time she was 12. She didn't ask my permission, just started taking my shaver from my bathroom until I got the hint and bought her her own.

    I don't think it's about following their peers so much as what they're comfortable with. My daughter didn't even bat an eyelid. It was a right of passage, just like her brother starting to shave what litttle 'fuzz' he's got growing on his chin.

    I don't think there is really an age when waxinf or shaving or deciding to go au naturel becomes 'ok'. If she was concious about it, I would have taken Ariani to get waxed at 10. After all, she pierced her ears at 8, what's the big deal about getting rid of a little hair?

    love
    sushee

  9. #27

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    Hi All,
    My take on it is that : it is better that she came and talked to you about it rather than goind behind your back and doing it. If she feels comfortable talking to you about things now, and you show here support - I think that she will always feel comfortable talking to you about all things.

    My eldest spoke to me about waxing/shaving and I took her to get waxing.
    Yes her step dad reacted the same but men dont get it.
    Its the first step off many and as long as she communicates with you , you will have nothing to worry about.

  10. #28

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    I was very pleased that today my dd Jordan aged 10 and a half asked me about shaving her legs. They aren't particularly hairy and I explained that if she started to shave them now they will go dark and get hairier. I asked why she wanted to, had someone said something and she said no that she just wanted to. We came to the agreement that as she is only grade 5 that she should wait until high school. She was happy with that. then she very happily informed me that they would be discussiong pads and tampons at school soon, (we had the period/puberty talk at xmas time). She is so nonchalent about the whole puberty issue etc and I am so glad, as I really wanted to be able to discuss this stuff with her.

    Cheers Michelle

  11. #29
    Jackie Guest

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    Kids are so different now, when I was about 12 my mom said that I'd get periods one day and to tell her when I did, that was as far as that discussion went. The only other time she even mentioned anything was when I was 17 and late. She asked me if I was pregnant, I said, "I don't know how, would I get that way"??

    My DD talks to both me and DH about everything, some time she shocks me with the things she comes out with, but I'm so glad she is open about everything. It's getting a bit scary at the moment as she is very much into boys, her best friend has a boyfriend and one of his friends likes DD and has asked her out. She told me about it, her reasoning is that she doesn't know this guy, so why would she go out with him. Sounds good to me. But it's bound to happen sooner or later, which at the moment is so scary for me, but as long as she is open about it all it should be okay.

    I think I just hijacked the "hair removal" thread.. Sorry #-o

  12. #30

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    Well Jackie- thank god your daughter doesn't think she has to accept just because he asked her!! YAY!
    My 15 DSD is a worry, all she cares about is her bloody BF, actually to the point she has been a right nasty little s**t.
    I hope my DD (and yours) won't decide to have a BF cos EVERYONE else does or whatever.
    I didn't know how to tell someone I wasn't interested (I would just avoid them or hide) when I was younger.
    Sad but true

  13. #31

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    Quote Originally Posted by Karen75
    Hair removal is such an easy thing to take care of
    Can you hear my bitter ironic laugh Karen?
    Every week, at least once…
    I shave my toes, my feet, my legs, my bikini line, my underarms, my forearms, the backs of my hands AND I remove hair from my chin, moles on my face, upper lip, eyebrows and….. from around my nipples!

    Confessions of a razor slave!

    I have fluorescent white skin from which long dark hair protrudes. I was teased mercilessly in Primary school by both boys and girls who called me ‘gorilla’. My mum did for me exactly what Tajemi did for her daughter, which was just great.

    I dream of the day the revolution comes and women can lay down their razors, but I’m afraid I’m no braver today than when I was 12 to start it myself!

    My poor poor daughters who will inherit my genes!!
    :-({|=

  14. #32

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    My DD (10) luckily doesn't have my "hairy" genes but occassionally worries about her legs etc. We are all brunette so instead of shaving I've helped her bleach her leg hair. It made her feel a lot better as the visibility was greatly reduced. She attends an all girl's school where there doesn't appear to be much of an issue with hair at this point.

    Poor Ethac!!! Have you tried bleaching? Especially on your hands/arms? It lasts a lot longer than shaving. I tried electrolysis for the first time a month ago and it seems to have worked already despite being told I may have to return for up to a year for permanent results.

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