given that your DD has moved out in a huff, i'd be saying NO to almost all her "demands" until she learns to treat you with respect. once she gets off her high horse, then maybe, but there would be conditions!

given the area down here - well, hanging out at the local supermarket would means she's desperate cos there is nothing there! if she was talking M'well - well, the year 11 and 12 high school used to be just down the road, so we ALL used to go there and just chill. i don't see a problem with that one to be honest. it's a small shopping centre, and as long as she's just hanging and not causing drama... it's a bit of a change from living out in the sticks - and it will get boring really quick with all the old people that hang out over there! even t'gon is just as bad - it's BORING! night time - well, no buses at night, so nope. there is no point in being out at the shops around here at night

out with older people in the car - tough one. as you know, we live further out than you, so i guess i wouldn't have a problem with it if i knew the older person - but there would be restrictions - if i heard of the person acting like a d!ck and showing off, it's a no go. if she refused to introduce them - again, a no go. being trusted means trusting your parents to have good judgement - and huffy hissy fits cos you can't go out... nah - it doesn't work

away for weekends - depends on who, and where they're going. i don't know that i'd be looking at what parents are available - i'd be looking at who else was going to be there - i went for solo weekends with my friends at that age - one, i was responsible enough myself, two - there were older people that my folks trusted (when i was just 16, most of my friends from school were nearing 18).

drinking - tough call. i think i agree with mrsmac on this one - my bro was prohibited from drinking - he'd sneak out, binge then come home. he still has a habit of writing himself off - he's never learned to drink responsibly. the way my teen years went was similar to mrsmacs approach - i was allowed a few drinks at 16 - provided i respected my folks and only drank what they bought for me - so if i was going to a party, they'd buy for me. silly thing is, my friends that were older and not allowed to drink, even when they turned 18, would write themselves off terribly and end up really sick. i had no reason to rebel and drink hard, so i didn't. i would, most times, end up taking alcohol back home with me - i just couldnt' be bothered. i have a healthy respect for what alcohol can do to you simply because i was taught a healthy respect. no offence to anyone that says NO outright - it is your choice - just letting you know of my experiences. i tend to agree with the notion of if you say no outright, she's going to rebel more...

in your circs, as hard as it is, i would risk having her stay out for good. speak up with c'link and tell them you have NOT kicked her out, you have NOT told her she can't come home - rport that she is living away without your consent and you're trying to get her to come back home (it will prevent her getting independent youth allowance). remind her that you love her, and want her home - but that being treated like a grown up means showing that she IS grown up - chucking a tanty and going off half ****ed when she didn't get her own way shows she's no better than her younger siblings, and as a result, until she proves her worth, she will be treated the same - whether she is at home or elsewhere!

good luck in whatever you decide - remind her if she's staying with the dodgy people in the Don (sounds like it) that their rep will rub off on her, their attitude will rub off - she won't be respected unless she pulls her finger out and EARNS respect