Hi Dianne,

Like mrsmac said - this has no reflection whatsoever on your parenting. He is being a typical teen. He isn't a bad kid, he is just experimenting and doing what his friends are doing - so yes, call it peer pressure, and as hard as it is to take as a mother, it is so normal unfortunately I am not long out of high school and I can say that by year 10/11 so many students had started smoking/tried it, and most of them just did it socially to "fit in" and would not actually do it at home or alone, or even buy their own cigarettes. Some of them remain smokers and get addicted (that is the main worry), but others continue doing it socially only, or stop altogether.

I hope for your DS's sake, it is just a phase and he quits it soon. Don't beat yourself up over it - he is still a good kid, and a normal one! I'm sorry you're going through this though. I bet so many parents don't have a clue their children actually smoke behind their backs. Sad but true.

Maybe tell him that he stinks and girls won't like him or that he will get so unfit and puffed out all the time and won't be able to play sports

xox