Oh yes I hear you on that one- we had to constantly tell J that she is not E's mother and should not treat her like she was (and not in a good way either LOL) Funnily enough she is fantastic with DS and is a great babysitter just her and her sister clash.
Last edited by mrsmac; June 9th, 2008 at 05:51 PM.
my 11 yr old thinks she is everyones mum but sometimes shes a great help but then somedays its just too much .
my 13 yr goes through stages at the moment shes ok i can actually talk to her but somedays she scares me the way she chucks a tanty and my 11 yr old the same i might as well have twins cause there both going through the same thing .
i just hate the way they talk to me there treating me like crap
Thats not good Jessabel, my DD may dismiss my ideas or look at me like I'm so out of touch but she is basically polite to me eg she would never swear at me or say horrible things to me.
I just had the biggest argument with DD....she went to my sisters for the weekend, and I went to put her clothes away yesterday and her room was a pigsty, I said to her she had to clean her room tonight and her job is to clean the kitchen, she went into her room at 6.30 pm and I thought she was cleaning, she hadnt done the kitchen either well I went to lay down at 7 as I had a bad headache, Cooper woke me up at 9 he was screaming so I went into him I opened DD door to see how much she had done and tell her dont forget the kitchen, well sh was asleep with her TV on and ipod in her ears, hadnt touched her room, so I woke her up and told her to get out and do the kitchen I took the TV out of her room and took her Ipod off her aswell, told her she doesnt get the tv back for a month and can have her ipod back when the room is done, she cracked it, about half hour ago my mum rings me to see what is going on, she then used her mobile and called my mum REVERSE CHARGES to say she hates me and wants to go live with her and how we dont let her do anything the list just goes on and on, so now she has also had her phone taken away. TEENAGES
Oh Mel you poor thing. Hopefully your mum supports you? I miss my mum terribly now that DD is a teen cause I have noone to ask how I was and what she did (Dad is very self centred and doesn't remember anything that doesn't directly involve him and i hated him as a teen)
I need to make a confession now, this is something I am embarrassed about so don't usually discuss but my DD now lives with my dad (her grandad) a km away because the situation between her and DH got out of hand- they both hate each other and it was doing my head in. I am not completely happy with her at dads cause he has a new girlfriend and spends heaps of time with her and doesn't seem to look after Jess (I know its not his job) Jess refuses to come back cause DH is so mean to her (he is, he has told me she no longer exists to him) DH is not her biological father but has been there since she was 6, her biological dad vanished without trace when she was 2 1/2. I know there are jealousy issues between them and he found all these sms she sent saying how much of a b@stard he was and how he was her step monster etc (he has never ever referred to her as anything but his DD) I know he is hurt but he is so immature about it.
Anyway sorry ramble over, just pointing out that even though she may not swear at me and hate me things are pretty bad here with regards to my mothering skills.
I did read that book that someone recommended (i think it was you mrsmac) princess b!tchface syndrome... and it did help put some perspective on the situation.
Laura has recently had AF start - and was extremely impressed with how she handled it all, much better then I did when i started. I think AF might be about to pay a visit again soon, she is as moody as all hell, and the attitude - OMG!! the way she speaks to EVERYONE in the house is driving me nuts. I could slap her! Bossing around her brother constantly, moaning about DH (who is her step-dad ... so I hear you mrsmac - the whole blended family thing ugrh!! my DH behaves the same, and I'm like HELLO who is the adult here!!!!) and basically behaving like she is the most hard done by child in the universe.
Mel - we do the same thing when laura misbehaves - take away the things that are important to her - music, phone. and be consistent with it. I have actually stopped myself from engaging with her when she is arguementive, i found it only excerbates the situation - its hard, because all i want to do is yell back at her you ungratefull so and so... but I state the facts, and then if I have to walk away.
It did get worse before it got better though, and will probably get worse again, but at the moment I can actually see her thinking "right, if I keep going here I'm the one who is going to suffer the consequences of my own actions..so maybe I should just stop..."
My son Nathan is the one who cops it the most, i liken it to the whole pack thing - you know, he is the next down in line, so when she is p!ssed at mum and dad, instead of turning it on them, she turns it on him. and then of course, he can stir her mercilessly... with great delight!!
Laura and I got a book sent to us for our birthdays (which are close together) kaz Cook's Girl Stuff. It really is a great book, and has been the point of departure for many conversations between us. Even when I don't think she is listening (got that pinched expression her face that says loud and clear WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW MUM!) she really is, and quite often comes back and apologises for her words, or will start a conversation about whatever it was I was saying....
for the moment I really do think the biggest difference to how she is behaving has more to do with how I am behaving... if that makes sense. It is hard believe me, to not engage in it, but if I want her to learn how to manage her own behaviour, I have to model it. so its been good for me too. I think the fact that I could hear myself in her tone, and behaviour made me actually cringe - and take a step back and go whoa, hang on a minute, no use talking the talk, but not walking the walk.
anyway, that's where we are at at the moment...tomorrow may be totally different, and I could be pulling my hair out again, in the mean time I will enjoy the reprieve while its on!
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