I did read that book that someone recommended (i think it was you mrsmac) princess b!tchface syndrome... and it did help put some perspective on the situation.
Laura has recently had AF start - and was extremely impressed with how she handled it all, much better then I did when i started. I think AF might be about to pay a visit again soon, she is as moody as all hell, and the attitude - OMG!! the way she speaks to EVERYONE in the house is driving me nuts. I could slap her! Bossing around her brother constantly, moaning about DH (who is her step-dad ... so I hear you mrsmac - the whole blended family thing ugrh!! my DH behaves the same, and I'm like HELLO who is the adult here!!!!) and basically behaving like she is the most hard done by child in the universe.
Mel - we do the same thing when laura misbehaves - take away the things that are important to her - music, phone. and be consistent with it. I have actually stopped myself from engaging with her when she is arguementive, i found it only excerbates the situation - its hard, because all i want to do is yell back at her you ungratefull so and so... but I state the facts, and then if I have to walk away.
It did get worse before it got better though, and will probably get worse again, but at the moment I can actually see her thinking "right, if I keep going here I'm the one who is going to suffer the consequences of my own actions..so maybe I should just stop..."
My son Nathan is the one who cops it the most, i liken it to the whole pack thing - you know, he is the next down in line, so when she is p!ssed at mum and dad, instead of turning it on them, she turns it on him. and then of course, he can stir her mercilessly... with great delight!!
Laura and I got a book sent to us for our birthdays (which are close together) kaz Cook's Girl Stuff. It really is a great book, and has been the point of departure for many conversations between us. Even when I don't think she is listening (got that pinched expression her face that says loud and clear WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW MUM!) she really is, and quite often comes back and apologises for her words, or will start a conversation about whatever it was I was saying....
for the moment I really do think the biggest difference to how she is behaving has more to do with how I am behaving... if that makes sense. It is hard believe me, to not engage in it, but if I want her to learn how to manage her own behaviour, I have to model it. so its been good for me too. I think the fact that I could hear myself in her tone, and behaviour made me actually cringe - and take a step back and go whoa, hang on a minute, no use talking the talk, but not walking the walk.
anyway, that's where we are at at the moment...tomorrow may be totally different, and I could be pulling my hair out again, in the mean time I will enjoy the reprieve while its on!
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