I was talking to friends that had only 3 people turn up to there daughters 16th because there was no drinking. They were totally happy with that, and I would be too. Which is why dd can go out to a resturant (top idea fionas!) with a few friends for her 16th. I would rather they do something more age appropriate than fall about watching friends throw up all night. Like learing to function in an adult evironment, by learning manners and social skills.
Why does drinking seem to be the only "rite of passage" into adulthoood??????
BYO and if you don't bring you don't drink (no sharing).
Not that i agree with a 16th and drinking thing but atleast if you send your child to the party then you know that they will not be drinking as there is not sharing. (well hopefully). Not that i would let my daughter or son go. It does sound a little responsible of parents. I just can't believe how young children drink these days i was 18 and i am not that old to think that times change sooooo quickly these days.
This is my opinion and it was not put here to offend anyone else's opinion.
Thanks Nikki
I have a problem with parents condoning underage drinking, combined with condoning the fact that one needs to drink (translate "get ****ed" - because a 16 yr girl lacks awareness of impact, sorry) to be able to "have a good time".
YES - these things go on. YES - that is what a lot of the kids are doing now. But what message are we sending out to kids to merely be throwing up our hands and saying weakly, "oh well, it is going to happen anyway".
My husband is an ER doctor and has seen SEVERAL DRUNKEN teens coming in to his department - often accompanied by moronic parents who say, "We don't understand. It was only ONE bottle of rum we supplied!" He has seen teenage girls, inebriated, and found NAKED in parks - again, with bewildered and naive parents who have been shocked at the prospect of perhaps being treated for possible STDs due to sexual interference in such a state.
Where does one draw the line? Do we, as parents, allow drug taking in our homes next? The old "Better under MY roof" excuse??
Right ON Lady Penelope (and welcome to BB newbie!).
This is precisely why I feel this way. I went to a Drug and Alcohol info evening at DD's school, and learnt a hell of a lot about what is going on now, the price many teens are paying and how little these effects are being publicsised as they should.
The evening was run by an ER nurse who felt the need to contribute this way and even she admitted she thought that "allowing the kids to drink at home" and/or supplying under 18s' was Ok until she saw the effect for herself every weekend.
SO I really don't want to debate about the rights and wrongs of it all, I know how I feel. It gets a little harder when you need to actually enforce these beliefs....
is it possible that the parents are not aware what went out on the invites?? i certainly wouldn't have shown my parents my invitation to my party, but at the same time, we wouldn't have been allowed to drink at 16 anyway (although we did)...
i was never really officially allowed to drink when i was under age (but you would shudder to hear the other things i got up to in my room, much worse than alcohol)... anyways, while my parents wouldn't allow it, other parents would, the difference being, the parents who allowed it to happen, although not necessarily thrilled about it, had a lot more control over their kids and insight as to what was going on, whereas my parents had no clue (well they did, but had no way to broach the subject as i denied it)... while allowing kids to drink underage is obviously not ideal, there are significant benefits to being open to it, as it is in a controlled environment with an adult around who can monitor and make sure things stay safe... the alternative alot of the time is kids drinking in dodgy places like parks with who knows what lurking, and also approaching complete strangers to buy them alcohol..... i know what i would rather.
Interestingly, both myself and my sister were allowed to drink underage (me from 10 months, which I VERY MUCH disagree with).
I think that a glass or two of wine with a meal is nice (that has been cut back a LOT over the last couple of years!).
My sister thinks that there's no point doing that, what's the point of drinking and not getting drunk. She was getting trashed in pubs from age 14 and that was OK.
I hope to bring my son up to drink the odd drink for the taste and not get drunk. If he cannot respect that, I will say (and mean) no alcohol - even grounding him to stop him going out and getting drunk. It's not always if you're allowed to or not, but how the parents deal with it.
You can't say one stance is better than another, it all depends on the child AND the parent. While I don't mind the odd drink, Lulu does and that's the point of the thread, not whether she should relax her stance on alcohol.
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