Hi...My name is Ruthie.. I was diagnosed with PCOS on 1999. I had my first son on fertility meds. After him I have become pregnant twice and both ended in miscarriage in the first trimester.
I have started a round of the same meds to have my first at a higher dose and am in the 2WW! I hope I finally get a BFP.
It's sad that you have to be here, but we're glad you have found us. This is such a wonderful place to be when the rest of the world seems cold and hopeless at feeling your pain.
How old is your son? Do you mind if I ask how far along you were when you MC? How long ago was that?
I really hope that you only have one 2WW. Fingers crossed for you.
Here's my story: I am 29, very very close to 30 (in 18 days time), and I have a daughter from a previous marriage. She is one week off 10 years old. She had an idential twin sister who we lost at 1 week old to 'twin to twin transfusion'. One baby was much bigger than the other and took all the goodness, preventing the other from growing. We didn't even know we were having twins until 1 week before the birth as I had been against ultrasounds (not knowing their true affect at that time, I figured I would only have one if I needed one). Dr sent me for a scan at 27 weeks, and after 3 amniocentesis to try and reduce the amount of fluid to allow the little one to grow, I went into labour at 28 weeks. Delivered by c-section, one baby was 1.1kg, the other 470g. One week later, our littlest angel died. The whole time looking back is really a blur. It was so unexpected. We only knew about our second little angel for 2 weeks, one week in my tum and one out.
I am now remarried (for just over a year) and we are TTC, after a year of actually wanting too, but not having permancy in my job). We had a MC 2 weeks ago (at 5.5 weeks) which was very sad and unfortunate, but my recovery has been speedy thanks to BB. I have ignored doctors orders to wait a month and we are TTC straight away. I have done copious amounts of research and have come to the conclusion that I can't change the bigger plan, we get what we are given, and when it is time for us to have a baby, one will be given to us. So, if indeed we should wait a month, then no matter how hard we try this month, we won't fall. Yet if we were meant to fall pregnant this month, we will. So let's just see what happens. I have no clue as to what my cycle will do. I have read of women who have had to wait 5 months for AF to visit. I have also read that you can ovulate two weeks after MC and conceive, and go on to have a healthy pregnancy. So that's what I'm hoping for!! Will just have to BD every couple of days, and hope the catches the little eggy when she decides to arrive.
I have been having blood tests since my MC, watching my hCG levels drop. On the day I went into the hospital in fear of MC, by hCG was at 45. Two days later it was at 8, two more days later it was at 3, 5 more days later at 2, and 2 more days later (Wednesday of this week) still at 2. So I'm curious to see how long it will take to get to zero. I'm assuming I won't ovulate until it gets to zero. Perhaps you know the answer to this?
SO ... after all that ... again. I hope we can all be of help to you. Any time you need to chat. Log on. There are many beautiful women on this site who will help you get through any dark times you may (but hopefully won't) have.
Just a quick note.... AF arrived... so that s me out for the cycle. Not really thinking to much about it.... just trying to focus on work.... no time for me to be a train wreck...
hi all, im back from a a lovely romantic weekend away
jen: i was thinking about you over the past few days, so sorry to hear AF showed, your chart was looking so promising...as you said next month is another opportunity....
ruthie: welcome babe, sorry that you have to be here, but this is a really great, supportive place...vent as much as you need!
Angelbabies: so sorry to hear AF showed for you too sweeetheart...im really hoping that July will be a better month for us all...please dont lose hope, we will all get there...
melbourne girls: this is the first ive heard of this meet up! are there many ttc'ers going? I was thinking about it, but dont wanna be the only one there who is not pregnant or has a baby...i dont think i could handle it...
AFM: DH and i had a really lovely relaxing weekend (and yes, there was some ing !)
So, i have all my fingers and toes crossed for this month. This is the one that ive been thinking about since i had the MC ...that i just need to be pg again by the time my EDD arrives. Its on the 20th of July, so if were not successful this month then i wont be...and im not sure if ill get through it...so, if there is any floating around here at the moment, could i please have some?
Good morning, girls! Doesn't seem like there's nearly enough going around these days! Don't want to forget those That's better, ok, here goes...
Toccara--Oh, hon, sending you huge hugs! We all know how difficult this TTC journey can be--it's a long, bumpy road that has many up's and down's along the way! Harder still are the obstacles you have to get around, i.e. friends or family that are pg or giving birth, misc. pg women you come across on a daily basis, baby showers, even just seeing babies at the grocery store! There will be days where these things don't affect you at all, but often there will be days where it just stops you in your tracks and makes you feel like someone swiped your feet out from under you! Suffering through a m/c, and then picking up the pieces of your life can be the biggest challenge, and can leave you feeling physically and emotionally drained. I know those dark days of curling up in a ball in the dark, just wanting to get through another day of not being pg, my heart truly breaks for you! Please just know you'll get through this after time, and you'll heal and have the ability to deal with the up's and down's with a little more ease. We're all here for you, and we've all walked in your shoes, so you're not alone in this! Sending you the biggest, hugest hug imaginable!
joey--Thanks for sharing your story with us! It's amazing how something so traumatic, once written down and shared, begins the healing process--not only for you, but it gives others affirmation that they aren't alone, therefore allowing them to begin to heal just by reading your story! Sharing your experiences is a powerful tool for yourself and for others, and I'm grateful that you're here with us, sharing this journey with us!
Hi, Ruthie, welcome! I'm so sorry to read of your losses but happy that you've found your way to our little thread! The women here are truly amazing, and I'm sure that you'll find all the comfort and support you need for this rollercoaster ride of TTC! Praying your TWW ends with a BFP--good luck with the fertility meds!
pbstar--Thanks for the hugs, sending them right back atcha! How's your TWW treating you?
Angel babies--So, so, so sorry to hear about AF! Grrr, for you and me both! Bring on the April babies!!! We're only 2 CD's apart, so looks like we're cycle buddies--would love a shared BFP for both of us in July!
tina--Thanks for thinking of little ol' me! Glad to hear you enjoyed your romantic getaway! Crossing fingers and toes, arms, legs, and eyes that you caught that egg! Here's some just for you!
I HOPE YOU GET THAT EGGIE AND COME BACK WITH BFP NEWS!! I would be so happy for you!!!
My story is very long...My son is 3 now and a true Miracle. Since I have PCOS My periods are so irregular last year (2007) I only had 2 the first one was o n Aug and it lasted all the way to October. And the second one was Dec12th. !!! I have been with my husband 7 years and never used any type of contraceptive ever in hopes of getting pregnant and nothing ever worked. My family never understood just like I read many women here..people always said,
don't stress it ..it will happen".. NO IT WONT!! I DON'T OVULATE I HAVE TO STRESS AND WATCH MY BODY SO I KNOW WHEN I DO I CAN BABY DANCE AND GET THAT EGGIE!!.. SO after a doctor finally diagnosed me they look at me like "poor poor infertile Ruth"..She is the only one who can;t have kids everyone else are fertile myrtles!!.. It gets to me so much. Well my sons pregnancy was a blessing but also a true nightmare i away.. He was very wanted as I underwent fertility meds to have him.. that month my doctor told me to start testing from week 3 of that LMP..BFN..week after that BFN.. I was so frustrated...one more week after that BFN.. Doc finally told me to get a blood tests and if it didn't come back + then the meds didn't work...so I did a blood tests.. NEGATIVE!!..So doc told me to see him..he needed to see if my tubes were ok and why I wasn't PG.
He did a "you know pelvic exam and went hmmm.."..did an ultrasound AND I HAD A BEAN!!!.. I WAS PREGNANT!!!!!! Beautiful heartbeat ..that was the most amazing sound I have ever heard!! I was 6 weeks..and yet that day my HPTS were still negative?.. Doc said that my hormones were very low and I was at risk of m/c so I got a progesterone shot and a week later.. BFP!!!
at wee 28 I had contractions and my baby had punctured the sac.. I was slowly but steadily losing the amniotic fluid..so I was put on extreme bedrest..then my blood pressure went dangerously high..they put me on a heart monitor till the day I delivered. it really sucked...
My doctor said that at week 28 my baby was probably not going to make it and he gave me a steroid shot to mature babys lungs as he was not going to make it full term. Doc said Ihe had to prolong my PG as far as possible. It worked..but at week 34 when the nurse did my first check up in the AM.. The baby wasn't moving...and the heartbeat was so low... I was so scared. He was still alive but no one knew for how much longer..so they called docs and I had an emergency C-Section. He was 4 and a half pounds and he screamed for life!!! he made it!!!!! He was so healthy that the docs only kept him in the NICU 24 hrs and the next day I had him in my arms...!!! No TUBES!! HE BREATHED ON HIS OWN!!.. A true miracle!!! That was a true happy ending..but 9 months later I underwent fertility meds got PG and again BFNs till week 6....before I even made it to my first docs appointment I was already contracting and bleeding. I went to ER but it was too late my baby was already passing in my cervix. Doc said that since I was only 6 weeks I could TTC again in 2 months..so I did. Nothing...a year later in 2006 I went fert. meds again..and again.. I got PG and m/c due to low progesterone. What's hard is that I don't show a BFP early ..it's always at 6 weeks and it doesn't give me time to know that I'm PG so I can get a the Prog. shot! It really sucks...
So here I am almost 2 years after my 2nd m/c still hoping I have another miracle. People have called me selfish for wanting another child. OMG it makes me cry so bad. Why does that make me selfish???
No one understands..and it seems like wonderful women online whom I don't even know understand much better than those I know.
I'm so looking forward to make friends here...
I will test in the 4thof July (I will be 6 weeks then) and see if I finally am PG!!.. I will let you know. I have had so many heartache.. I just want all this to end and I could fast forward to the amazing moment that I'm delivering a healthy baby (girl..LOL)
I hope I have a girl this time..but a healthy baby boy is so welcome too!!!
Good luck to you and **sprinkle sprinkle with baby / BFP dust*****
I really look forward to knowing all of you!! I see already I will be very blessed to know you girlies!!!
if you want e-mail me so I can give you the link to myspace page (if you have myspace) Just let me know you are from BellyBelly
I'm always on there and you can see pics of my miracle baby and us.
Good luck to all of you I'm sending my best wishes and of course.....
***BABY DUST******
hugs,
Ruthie
angel babies- sorry about AF, keep your chin up and don't give up
tina- sounds like you had a fun weekend, got my fingers crossed for you this month hun
jen- not sure if i'm in the tww yet, am not temping or anything anymore so i won't know for sure when i am. how's af behaving? hope she's not being too hard on you. also hope you've been enjoying some daiquiri's, you deserve it!
kl- not sure if i have o'ed yet, don't think i will know exactly when i do. the chinese herbalist i saw last week asked me to stop temping, stop doing everything basically. she says she is the boss now and for me to just relax, she'll do my worrying for me. so other than taking the herbs everyday i'm not really doing anything, and it's a great feeling to be honest.
ruthie- welcome and thanks for sharing your story, your son is such a miracle. not sure why anyone would call you selfish, seems very ignorant to me. everyone here is great so i'm sure you'll find some much needed support
Ruthie--First, big Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! I'm so very sorry to hear of your losses and your heartache I don't know how anyone could ever consider you selfish for wanting another child! Your son truly was a miracle! I'm you're blessed with another miracle very quickly! The women here are very supportive, I'm sure you'll feel right at home with here with us! :Goodluck2: with your testing on the 4th-- you get a sticky BFP!
pbstar--It's great to hear you sounding so relaxed this cycle! When your herbalist said she's the boss and to let her do the worrying, you really followed through--well done! I'm addicted to temping, so I'd be the one sneaking my temps in the morning, despite being told not to! I've never been very good at doing what I'm told! I wish the best for you with this cycle, go July! Oh, btw, no daquiri's, but did have a couple Mike's hard lemonade's! I'm about to go grab another!
Thank you girlies.... I'm writing absolutely everything down this cycle... it's very confusing cuz my cycle are much longer and ovulation and conception happen much later on.. (thats why I have always had a BFP after 6 weeks) I'm on CD40 today (my last cycle was 44 days so I'm assuming this one would be too) so in 4 more days I will be officially late. So far on and off symptoms not to great of a given cuz PG symptoms are almost like PMS..but here a a few..soar boobs since yesterday under the armpit???.. crazy but yes...umm.. Cm?. I feel like a slug..it's gross. Cervix so up high its hard to reach and its very soft... my lower back has been hurting since I ovulated..just hoping it's not "all in my head" other than that I feel nothing else..
Loads of baby dust to you girlies I hope I hear BFP news soon!!!
As soon as DH left this morning, I rushed to BB (where else would I go??). I noticed on my email that there was a new entry, and I said to myself, I bet that's Jen. Of course it was! Who else would be up in the middle of the (our) night! Thanks for your thanks, and hugs.
Guess what?!? I'M ON HOLIDAYS. YAY I'm a school teacher, and this is the first of my 2 weeks off. DD is at her dads, DH is at work ... and I'm on holidays!! HOWEVER, I need to finish painting the carport so I don't have that looming over my head!
I woke up this morning and was about to change when watery CM just dripped out of me. Does this mean that I might be O soon? I was expecting it to be a little delayed seeing I mc only 2 weeks ago. Would I have that sort of CM if I wasn't about to O? Anyone know. And also, saying that I mc 2 weeks ago, that was when the bleeding started, but I stopped feeling preg 2.5 weeks ago, so could I have mc before the bleeding started? Also keeping in mind, that the day of the bleed my hCG was at 45, and the dr at the hospital said it should have been in the thousands???
Also, went to the pregnancy, babies and childrens expo yesterday. WHAT WAS I THINKING. How depressing!! Have there ever been more pregnant women/babies shoved into such a small environment before. Durrr Ended up only staying for about 10 minutes. DH was over it too. It was pretty crowded, and I didn't really see anything I hadn't seen before that I can't pick up at Target. I pretty much thought I was over my MC and thought, we'll be preg soon, so lets go. Didn't come home and bawl, but felt a bit flat afterwards. I really didn't think it would affect me. Oh well, live and learn!
Angel Babies - Sorry to hear the wicked witch has arrived. I'm glad that work is busy for you.
Tina - Glad to hear you had a great weekend away. Even more glad for you that it involved lots of BDing. I really hope this is the month for you. :goodluck2:
Jen - it's so nice to hear that I am not the only one who gets grumpy when the kids (or in my case kid) wakes up. I have most beautiful, well mannered, helpful daughter in the world (no bias here) but I am such a cow in the morning! I am fine, until she is up. I feel like such a b*tch. The poor darling thing. Lucky for her, she's at her dad's for a week, so she can have some peaceful mornings. And I have also explained to her that I am just a grumpy ol' fart in the mornings and it's not her fault, so the quicker we get ready and out the door the better. I hate it though. I'm not like that with DH in the mornings, just her. Grrrr to myself!
Breath, breath. Ok. Jen, I can't beleive we're up to 27 (ways to know that you're addicted to BB). Or maybe I should change that to I can't beleive we're only up to 27! Oh NO!! Just remembered something. You'll have to add this to your list.... I am cringing as I type this ... I had a dream last night I was reading BB!!! and there was a new entry, but I couldn't really understand what she was saying. Her spelling was so bad you couldn't understand some words and there were lots of words missing. I posted back to her anyway with a big . But I can't beleive I dreamt I was checking the posts. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
KL - You just answered my earlier question (when can you ovulate). When it gets below 5. How happy am I!! I will HAVE to get DH into bed tonight. Tie him up and use the paddle pop sticks and gaffa tape if I have to!!! How excitment!! That's the best news I've heard since I found out I was UTD! Thanks!!! That would explain why the dr told me that I could stop having blood tests now that I received two negative results in a row, even though the hCG was only at 2, and I thought negative would mean zero.
As far as the ultrasounds go. YES - I will definately be having them this time (and feel free to pry as much as you like, there's nothing I'm not happy to share with the girls ). You know how they say that things are harmless, and then you find out 20 years later that people are getting really really sick from that thing that they thought was harmless 20 years ago?? Well I was concerned that ultrasounds were like that. I have since changed my thinking, and also because of that pregnancy, I wonder if I had known earlier if perhaps we could have done something about it. I don't beat myself up about it though. It was so long ago, and I rarely get upset about it now. I know that if she (Jackie) had stayed with us, she would have had MANY problems, and she is in a better place now. It also means Billie (her earth sister) has someone to look after her. And apparently tell her the answers to her exams in class, she just got back an almost straight A report card!!!! So, yes I will have ultrasounds this time - LOTS to make sure everything is going to plan. I had actually made an appointment for the Friday following our MC to have one (too see the heart beat). So will try and have one asap to make sure everything is going ok this preg. KL, I just noticed the time of your post, 1:57am!!
Oh KL, your poor hips. My DH went off BDing just after we conceived (although we didn't know that at the time). He was feeling too much pressure (he can be a stress ball sometimes) and didn't want to do it. We had like TWO WEEKS off. Thank goodness I fell! But this time round I have told him that we could take up to 5 months to O, so I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping that he comes up with the goods when I proposition him! I'm hoping he doesn't suspect anything. As much as he wants a baby, he doesn't want to think about one when we're BDing. Understandable I suppose.
Toccara - I wish I could get onto BB from my phone - well may be not - I would probably spend a months worth of credit every day.
Ruthie - You poor thing. Don't you hate it when they tell you to stop stressing. Just scratch their eyes out next time. They'll get the idea! Ruthie, what a miracle story. I can't beleive you took him home 24hrs later. That is AMAZING! I can't beleive people are calling you selfish. If anything is going to make you see red ... !!!! I can't wait till 4 jUly for you. Ruthie, I don't have a myspace. Sorry, is that similar to facebook? I'm on facebook. Are you? What about the rest of you?? Ruthie, do you use fertility friend? It's fee and it's really handy. Just google it, or click on my link at the bottom here and you can have a look around.
pbstar - good luck with your relaxing. It will be nice to have someone else in control for a while.
How do you PM someone?
Anyone else on facebook??
I can't beleive I have just spend a WHOLE HOUR reading last nights and this morning's posts and replying. WHO'S DOING MY PAINTING FOR ME??
Registered User
Hi..I'n new here..
It's sad that you have to be here, but we're glad you have found us. This is such a wonderful place to be when the rest of the world seems cold and hopeless at feeling your pain.
Fingers crossed for you.
catches the little eggy when she decides to arrive.
for a BFP for you.
don't be too brave
ing !)
floating around here at the moment, could i please have some?
That's better, ok, here goes...
got my fingers crossed for you this month hun
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! I'm so very sorry to hear of your losses and your heartache
you get a sticky BFP!
I've never been very good at doing what I'm told! I wish the best for you with this cycle, go July! Oh, btw, no daquiri's, but did have a couple Mike's hard lemonade's! I'm about to go grab another!
I'm a school teacher, and this is the first of my 2 weeks off. DD is at her dads, DH is at work ... and I'm on holidays!! HOWEVER, I need to finish painting the carport so I don't have that looming over my head!
Ended up only staying for about 10 minutes. DH was over it too. It was pretty crowded, and I didn't really see anything I hadn't seen before that I can't pick up at Target. I pretty much thought I was over my MC and thought, we'll be preg soon, so lets go. Didn't come home and bawl, but felt a bit flat afterwards. I really didn't think it would affect me. Oh well, live and learn!
That would explain why the dr told me that I could stop having blood tests now that I received two negative results in a row, even though the hCG was only at 2, and I thought negative would mean zero.
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