Thank you Jen and everyone else for your beautiful words and Christmas wishes .

Ruthie - hun, I can only say that you are not a fool - you would only be a fool to give up hope. Please take it at your own pace hun (stupid thing to say I know when you want it to all have happened yesterday) but never ever ever give up hope. I know PCOS is quite a ballgame that has no rules but if you give up hope, you lose your chance of bringing that colour back in your life that you mentioned. What will be in the far off distant future just leave it til then and don;t think too much about it. It's the today and the near future that has to be your focus as well as the positive gifts you do have in your life. I'm so sorry that financially it is very hard at the moment, I understand. But focus on the beautiful boys in your life and, while you don't have a sibling just yet for your little boy, you have given him a wonderful mummy and daddy whom he is so lucky to have in this day and age. I wish you all the strength and courage to get thru this tough time - beautiful girl, you will get there.....

Thankyou all for your lovely wishes - you have all been a part at various stages of my journey and I thankyou for all the support, love and warmth I have been priviledged to receive as a member of this thread. I can't tell you how much you all mean to me.