Theresa - I really wish I could reach out and give you this in person. Don't apologise for the rant, that's what we're here for. Cry, yell, scream, laugh, smile or let go and have that "ugly cry". It's all part of the process. All you can do is take it one day at a time, it will become easier, your special memories will be there forever. It's a very hard time of the year, and many people don't understand why my DH and I distance ourselves each year. We try to make it a happy occasion for our boys, but in the end, we still sit back and watch and remember our loved ones who are no longer with us.

This poem helped me last year, (we also lost a dear friend as well as our bub) it's almost a little late, but I hope it helps you.


My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting in the snow.
The sight is so spectacular! Please wipe away that tear,
for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring,
for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart,
but I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, loved ones. You know I hold you dear.
Be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift from heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, "Love" is a gift more precious than gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,
for I can't count the blessings or love He has for you.

So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
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