Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss #2- June 2009

Hi everyone,

Back on board after my hospital visit, I knew I would feel bad after the procedure, but truth be told I just feel really numb! Had a bit talk with DP last night who was not dealing with everything (best way for him is not to acknowledge it), I was crying and it really felt for the first time since we lost "Charli" we were greiving together. We will see how we go with the next couple of months TTC - really have my fingers crossed we fall again very quickly.

I know it might be strange me giving the bub a name considering the loss was very early, but I like being able to refer to the bub with a name rather than the baby we lost. The support person at the hospital suggested we name the baby (obviously a unisex name), I like it so its name is Charli - the little angel I will not ever get to meet - very sad. Has anyone else considered naming their bub or am I just strange???

Cherished - I dont know about cycles going back to normal but I havent had much blood loss since the op yesterday - I could only refer to it as light (lighter than my normal period). I am having some cramping but nothing too bad. I didnt have a negitive experience with my D & C (but I know others may have) so if you have to have one don't feel scared, im sure everyone will be supportive just like they were with me. On the Gold Coast the public hospital has a terrible reputation and everyone was so lovely and supportive of me and the circumstance - I really felt looked after. On a positive note the hospital says the bleeding counts as a normal period so we dont have to wait for another normal period before trying again. They mentioned with a natural miscarriage to wait to have a normal period after the mc - so basically 2 months.

Coco - the wrist must be a great place for a tattoo, I am doing the same thing - except I am getting a star (kinda obsessed - but very fitting I think) on my wrist to remind me of Charli.

Anila - I am glad I have someone here with whom I started my journey with - you make it familiar - even though I wish the circumstances were different.

Thanks to everyone for making me feel welcome - hopefully in the coming days/weeks I will contribute more to help you guys.

Bit the bullet and started a new ticker - here we go again...

Hi SuperstarMumsy and I am glad you didn't have a negative experience with the D&C. I had one for my 1st mc at the end of March and we ttc that cycle, I charted & ovulated but didn't have any luck until the next cycle so I was really happy with that.... Until I lost that one too.... My D&C experience was ok too except for the colic the antibiotics caused... I have thought of the positives if I do need to have it... If I don't have the D&C I will be happy to wait until after another AF anyway... I haven't considered naming the babies I lost, I would rather forget about them... (long term anyway) I don't want to be reminded everyday of the heartache for the rest of my life... In 10 years time when I have had all of my forever babies I just want to concentrate on them..... I think it is lovely to have an everyday reminder if that is what you choose and feel is the best for you and your dh... My mum lost twins, one a couple of weeks after birth and the other 6 months later, there was a photo of one of them in a frame in the lounge room... She would talk about them every now and then but it wasn't a regular thing.... Life goes on iykwim But 'no' you are not strange and neither is coco :hug:

Ferrals I'm sure you will work it out with your dh, you will know the best thing to do

Yeh! AF finally turned up.

Superstarmummy-i'm glad everything went well for you and i hope you let yourself heal before you try again my doctor (professor from the fetal medicine unit) said after a loss weather M/C or D&C or giving birth you should let the lining of your uterus heal and be prepared for the next baby and have at least one normal cycle i know you don't want to hear it i certainly diddn't i wanted to get pregnant a.s.a.p to ease the pain but give yourself time to heal and grieve your little one.

RB arrived today, whilst I was doing Performing Arts with the year 7's!!!! Been cramping for a couple of days so here she is! I hope my next cycle is shorter! :pray::p:rolleyes:

BBL forpersies, need to catch up with a cuppa (with lots of caffeine!! I couldnt care less right now!) :p

SuperstarMumsy: Although I didnt name my angel as such, we were calling my tummy during my short prg (and will still call) our first born son/daughter Sunny Rhys. You're not strange, and im glad the op was ok (mine too). Hop on the train now love........:lol: and we'll ride together.

Hi Ladies,

no persies tonight, just a :grouphug:

AFM - well all I can say is WTF is going on - temp has dropped, so no stork visit this month, but I am STILL spotting - this is day 4 now. I am still 5 days from AF. Thats a bit too early for AF, and its way too much for implantation (and anyway, my temp dropped). Just confused, and now just want AF to come so I can start over. Grrr....

Milly I have seen temp drops on a BFP chart so it's not over until it's over iykwim... How long are your cycles normally?

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Anila - I am glad I have someone here with whom I started my journey with - you make it familiar - even though I wish the circumstances were different.

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SuperstarMumsy, oh hun, thankyou, i agree, that i wish it was under different circumstances, i am very sorry that you have to be here, but will hold your hand all the way to a sticky bfp!

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Milly I have seen temp drops on a BFP chart so it's not over until it's over iykwim... How long are your cycles normally?

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Thanks for the hope Cherished, but I'm not so sure - feeling decidedly pre-menstral and crampy now :(
My cycles are usually 28 days - occaisionally 27 or 29, but usually 28, so AF would be due on Monday, that's why I'm so confused. And if I do spot (which I do sometimes, but definately not most of the time) it is usually only once or twice a day before.
Any suggestions anyone??

sorry Milly, you're not going to like my answer...I spot for a bit then AF comes, and around this time of the tww for me, its destined to be over, so I throw big tantrums and cry (i really do!) and then im ok when i "bleed". Having said all that, i hope it is a bfp for you!

I am drinking my rasberry leaf tea, with some honey and Im about to go snuggle my hubby in my prewarmed bed, (i love electric blankets!) Hope everyone is going well!!

My sneaky ovulation did not get the better of me, I am so happy that I am comfortable with whatever the outcome of this TWW. I obviously want it to be a :bfp: but if it isnt, Im going to have some investigating done so its all good!!!

Hope you're all well and good xxx

Coco your attitude is just so refreshing!! :D I love it!! :dance:
Im going to try and take a leaf out of your book. :pray:
Goodluck in your chillaxed 2WW :dance:

Ferrals4- I dyed my hair a chestnut brown. I'd really like to do something a bit more dramatic and go more red but that would take a bit of maintenance to keep it looking good and I am hoping I will be pg soon and not able to dye my hair.

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:crying: :crying: :crying: I knew my lack of emotion and being OK with it all was too good to be true! Today I have been hit in the face by overwealing feelings of wanting a BABY RIGHT NOW!!!! :wall: :crying: I can't believe this has happend again :(

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:hug:

Oh Cherished - I totally understand the RIGHT NOW thing! You try so hard to be zen and you read others experiences and feel sad for them and hopeful for yourself, but nothing prepares you for the all encompassing desire for a child. Peace to you sweetheart.
Coco - you have such a great attitude honey - BFP for you soon x
Milly - any news? Keeping everything crossed for you.
Vianna - Darling how are you holding up?
Superstarmumsy - you are not crazy, it is perfectly natural to want to name your angel.

Sorry to anyone I have missed. I am getting my hair dies today too (there must be something in the air). I had my last exam yesterday and drank too much wine last night - does anyone else get happy/sad about being able to have a drink? I had a scan and all the figures look fine and am thinking about demanding a laparoscopy - has anyone had any positive outcomes from having one - should I be doing this???
Thanks
Delly

Dellydoo I am having an endoscopy with a laparoscopy if we're not pregnant this cycle. The pamphlet & the description from the gynae sounded VERY promising! She is going to do the Laparoscopy and check for any cysts, pollyps & endometriosis and fallopian tube blockages with the dye and anything else going on down there, and they're doing the Hysteroscopy to check out the cervix & uterus at the same time. Im so excited to be having some investigating! :leap: Just give your gynae the lowdown and yeah demand it. If not for TTC then to check for endo or whatever else...

Its day surgery and you'll be out of action for 2-3 days. Its keyhole surgery and you'll only have maybe 2-3 incisions. One being a camera through your belly button! How SCI-FI!!!

And yes, I get excited to be able to have a drink when i can :) hehe such as saturday night when i didnt know i was in my fertile time..Anthony & I went to a charity trivia night and downed a bottle of wine and he- 6 beers and then went in to town to the night club where we met and we had 2 vodkas each and reminicsed about how we met there and we went to the dance floor and kissed where we had our first kiss..the pecise time he had me hooked :) then we stumbled home and had a chambord and :bd: and went to sleep hehehe It was like we were teenagers!!!!! Not adults nearing our 30's TTC! :confetti:

Hello BB Girls,

milly-I don't get spotting at all but I did have a big temp drop just for the one day on dpo12 during my first pg. Don't give up hope its not over till a/f. :crossfingers: If you don't get a/f and get a BFP at any point you might need to see your FS about progesterone as spotting/bleeding can indicate that this is low.

coco- think we are going to be in the TWW together so here's to BFPs.

Dellydoo- I definitely know what you mean about drinking it is a very bitter sweet consolation prize.:rolleyes:

afm- still only a faintish on OPK yesterday but then big temp drop this morning so now I a have a new song "i o'ed, I o'ed, it's off to sperm I go hm hmh hmhm I o'ed I o'ed I o'ed" :lol: :leap: :leap:

Hi all i hope everyone is doing ok,

I know it has been a long time since i have been in here to chat but i have been very busy at work and have just not had a chance. I thought i would come in today for a chat as i am off work sick (well not really sick as such but very, very bad cramping like period pain).
I am still bleeding since my m/c which i dont know exactly when it happened but i do know i have been bleeding for 19 days straight and i am so over it.
I had a 2 week check up with my GP since being told of my loss and she has told me that it sounds like it is all happening now as i had very heavy clotting mon, tues and very bad cramping all week. I have another appt next tuesday and if the bleeding hasnt stopped i have to have D&C on wednesday so :crossfingers: that the bleeding stops by itself.
Anyway enough of whingeing from me congratulations to zacsmum on your :bfp: that is great news and hopefully we can see lots more of them in here in the near future.
Cherished hunny how are you, i feel a little connection to you as we were both in the jan babies and we both joined this thread at the same time. I was reading your post about thinking everything was going ok emotionally and then you had a couple of bad days, i done the same thing yesterday, thought i was fine and coping with everything really well and then yesterday when i went to the docs and got told i may have to have a D&C i just lost it, plus the pain i was in wasnt helping, but anyway we will get there and hopefully some good news will come along very soon.

Have just spent the last hour reading over all the threads since i have been in here last and would love to do some personals but get a little confused and lost as to whats going on with who, so ill have to try and get in here more often and really get to know you all coz i know you are all a great support network.

Anyway better get going i will be back soon to catch up on everything

Take care everyone
Talk soon

Hello everyone....

Superstarmumsy - I hope you are feeling ok today. You are in my thoughts. Im glad you have a new ticker going. Best wishes for your TTC journey this month.

Eliselouise85 & Cherished - I hope you can both avoid having a d&c. How are you both feeling today? I had a natural m/c and never realised how common d&c's were.

Sunbeam - I love your song. I think a few of us are about to enter the 2ww. I am at cd13 and if my temp goes up again tomorrow then its started for me. Here we go again....

Coco - Loving your approach to the testing. Its so great that you are excited to get answers and feeling positive about it. Lets hope having a relaxing night out with your dh was all you needed to get that BFP this month.

Sorry to all who have finished their 2ww without that BFP we all crave. Bring on the next round. Wishing everyone :bluedust:

Hello to everyone i missed.... SammyP, Vianna, Dellydoo, Anila, Sunny, Milly5, Ferrals...... What a great bunch of women we have here.

Hi girls. Just popping in to say that I am leaving BB. Thank you for all of your support and I really wish you all the best with your ttc journey xoxoxo

So sorry you're leaving cherished. Im secetly praying that when everything is cool you'll come back into this little thread. Hope everything is ok and goes well for you! I sent you an email and forgot to say "from eliza/coco" so when you get a crazy email its just me hehe :hug:

Cherished so sad to see you go hunny, was great to chat with you in the short time we did. I hope everything goes well with you and you get what you want and deserve very very soon :)
maddison thankyou so much for your support i to didnt realise how common D&C's were i was hoping for it all to happen naturally and still have my :crossfingers: that it will. As to how i am feeling today, emotionally im alot better but still have the worst pains, have had naprogesic and nurofen plus but not really helping all that much. and as for the bleeding this morning i thought it was easing up as there was hardly anything there but just got home from down the street and was chockas and overflowing (sorry for TMI), not very nice at all, but anyways ill get there.
Hope everything is going ok for you and as i said havent got to know who is at what stage so i will get to know you all over the next few weeks or so (hopefully we all wont be here for to much longer :)

Take care everyone, talk soon

All the very best Cherished - you deserve wonderful things
Sunbeam - your song is fabulous
Coco - I love your Saturday night story - the dance floor pash!
Elise darling I am so sorry what an awful thing - I hope the bleeding stops by itself but if not maybe the D&C will mean you can start trying again.

All the best
Delly

Cherished - you will be missed. Best wishes to you for your future. I hope you come back if you feel the need to talk again.

Today when I was shopping I came across the Baby Alive doll I had planned to buy my DD(21mths) as a present from the baby when it arrived. It was on special and I couldn't resist it. I feel more optimistic about it today though. That maybe there will soon be another baby to give it to her.

Cherished- sorry to see you go I wish you lots of luck for the future.

eliselouise- sorry the bleeding is not good today and the pain is bad too sounding like you may be able to avoid a d&c though if it carries on like that. Take care hun.

Loving seeing peoples pictures on their signatures will try yo put one on too.

afm-okay BIT confused. Temp drop this morning and nothing on OPK today even though I did two? Going to do another when I get home but going to inseminate tonight and tomorrow anyway because of temp drop. Please please let my egg hatch :pray: come on little :egg: you can do it.

Sunbeam, sounds like you're ovulating!!!! GET TO IT!!! :p

Hi ladies
i've been at work so i have missed a bit

Eliselouise-glad to see your back and sorry to hear you bleeding hasn't eased up yet but i do look farward to getting to know you better on BB.

Cherished-i hope you are ok and i wish you the best for the future.

Sammy-you should be optimistic it will hapen.

Sunbeam-hope you catch that egg .

As for me AF is horrible this mth very heavy and painful not normal for me and i'm now wondering should i avoid getting pregnant until we start ivf so i give us the best chance for healthy baby the thought of not TTC is making me sad knowing my luck we wont try and it will happen i got all my opk's and hpt in mail and wonder what to do put them away for later

hi all how are we all, i know i have posted on here already twice today but i thought since im back at work tomoro id take the time for some perssies.
Ferals hunny no good to hear about your heavy painful AF its no good at all, hope it all settles down soon and the pain goes away. Keep your chin up and stay positive, i think you may as well keep trying until you start the IVF who knows it may just happen naturally :crossfingers: I am also looking forward to getting to know all of you a little better, i think i just need to make time to get on here for a catch up.
Dellydoo thankyou for your support i too am hoping it stops naturally but have actually been thinking it may be better to have the D&C then i will be all clear and ready to start afresh again soon.
Sunbeam that sounds very promising about the temp drop, hopefully your little egg can be implanted and we see BFP for you very soon.
SammyP that is such a cute idea about the baby alive doll, hopefully you too will get BFP soon and you will be able to give your little one the doll from your new bub:)
Anyway better get going and cook some tea, will talk again soon
Take care bye bye

Hi everyone

Chersished, if by chance u pop back in, i just want to say, that i hope all goes well for you and your baby dreams come true. We will always be here for you when you need us.

I havent been posting much, still have af, its usually gone by now, but since its the first from the mc and been 50 days, i guess its hanging around longer.

HI Ladies,

Thanks Cherished and best of luck!!
Thanks Dellydoo, Coco & Sunbeam.

I'm just going to do a quick post becasue I'm being super selfish and having a moan and a cry :(!!!!

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sorry Milly, you're not going to like my answer...I spot for a bit then AF comes, and around this time of the tww for me, its destined to be over, so I throw big tantrums and cry (i really do!) and then im ok when i "bleed". Having said all that, i hope it is a bfp for you!

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'fraid not Coco :( I'm having that tantrum now!

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milly-I don't get spotting at all but I did have a big temp drop just for the one day on dpo12 during my first pg. Don't give up hope its not over till a/f. :crossfingers: If you don't get a/f and get a BFP at any point you might need to see your FS about progesterone as spotting/bleeding can indicate that this is low.

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I don't usually get spotting either, and if I do, then it is just the day before and just once. So I don't know why this happened now. But I do get implanation bleeding - had it with both pg, that's why I wondered if it was it.

Well as you can gather, the news is AF arrived. I have NEVER EVER EVER had a cycle this short - EVER. DId I say never? I have always been 28 days with the occaisional 27 or 29 day. And yep - the LP was short - too short. *&$%#@!!!!! I have made an appointment - seeing dr in 3 weeks. I'm just so devestated. I thought I would be fine if AF came, but I'm not, I'm just not. And to make matters worse - its painful, a real shocker. going to go to bed with my hot water bottle and lots of drugs (just to clarify - pain relief) - because hey, I can take them now :(

I guess its now a 2WW until my 2WW........

Hi girls
I have missed out on a bit so sorry for few percies, started a new job this week and have been flat out.

Cherished if ur around good luck with your forever baby.

Milly I am so sorry sweet, I was gettin so excited for you, man our bodies can be such traitors to us.

Ferals I think its smart to try the IVF while the 80% rebate is still there and I can understand feeling weird about not ttc'ing. Try not to feel like you are an unlucky person, I know it has been bad news for you lately but fingers crossed that is the end of it and you are about to start a good luck streak :pray:

AFM-I am experiencing a lot of confusion right now, not sure when AF is due, my guess would have been Tuesday just gone, anyway I have had weird throat nausea like I had when I was pg last time on/off since last Thursday...but no sore bbs or tiredness or frequent peeing. Plus I have had quite bad AF-like cramps since Saturday so keep thinking she is coming then nothing!

Anyway I caved and did a test this morning (mainly to rule out being pg out so I can stop analysing and go out for drinks on friday), and it was :bfn: -mostly. I wouldnt describe it as a faint line even but used a clear blue and I could distinctly see where the second line should be iykwim, was kind of a very very faded almost grey line, I showed DH and he said he could see it but in his opinion it was def :bfn:. I am 99% sure I agree with him but cause of the nausea and not knowing when AF is dues I am still confused. Has anyone else had troubles with clear blue? I am going to try and wait a week and if no AF test again...

Sorry for going on about me but I am very frustrated. I am also scared cos if I am pg I am sure my uterine lining wouldnt be great- my doc said there was no medical reason to wait but I have heard mixed views from other ppl and would be so anxious about mc'ing again and it being all my fault....:wall:

hi all,

i had plans of coming in and doing personals but there wsa just so much to catch up on. I did a whole heap the other night then computer spacked and didn't post :(
before i have my whinge I hope all are doing ok, It seems like most of us are around the RB time together...as much as we don't want to be. :fingerscrossed: for all of us that its the last time for at least a year :)
AFM: I'm up in the air as to where my cycle is. if it all goes back to normal Im due tomorrow but i don't think RB will arrive...I'm in two minds thinking I just might be :pray:
if nothing then I will test sat morn. I know its a good chance of just wishful thinking.
I had as bit of light tinged cm wednesday but no RB pains or anything and i normally get yuck cm for at least a full day.
then again there is a bit of niggling in my belly but i had that with last pg so i just don't know :wall:

how do i put a photo on my signature?

Hi All

I figured that, going by CM, that I ovulated today or yesterday. I have never experienced ovulation pain before so I'm not sure what it's like, but tonight I have had an ache in my lower back for the past few hours. Could that be ovulation pain? I had pain like this when I was recently pregnant and I put that down to things inside being stretched. Does anyone else get ovulation pain? Is it like that?

SammyP - I have a dull ache in my lower back and a few twinges in my side around ovulation so it is possible that is what you are feeling. Usually it lasts for a around a half a day for me.

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Hi girls
Milly I am so sorry sweet, I was gettin so excited for you

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Thanks KM1, my fingers are crossed for you - it aint over till the fat lady sings!! here's hoping she stays away for you.

TIna - my fingers are crossed for you too!!

Sammy - Re the ov pain question - when I've had ov pain it has been at the front, a bit like a stich, but not as sharp, and not in quite the same place.

Hello everyone!!!! :grouphug:

Hi Ladies,

I've been hovering for a while and have put in the odd post but have some time up my sleeve so thought I'd say hello again.

KM1 - hope you get some answers soon, and hope it's of the BFP variety. Maybe things happened later than what you think?

SammyP - I have never ever had O pain untill last month which was my first cycle after the m/c. For me it felt like sometimes a sharp pain sometimes a stitch like pain for the whole day of O and then it was gone.

TinaR - wishing you lots of luck for testing tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing a BFP for you!

Milly5 - if you're worried about a short LP, you can perhaps start taking some Vitamin B6 which is great for lengthening your LP and also help with any PMS as another bonus. Might be worth a shot - it worked for me.

anila - hope your AF stops soon

Ferals - sorry to hear AF is terrible for you this month. My heart goes out to you for all you are going through at the moment. The only advice I can give is that when I don't have a clear direction about a decision or am really confused with what to do, I keep a candle burning somewhere I can see it around the house and ask/pray (whatever you do/don't believe in) for guidance and strength to find a space of clarity for the right answer to come to me. Instead of feeling frustrated with myself and the situation, it helps me to focus on finding an answer and then it generally works and I go with my intuition. Good luck, and hope AF settles down soon for you.

AFM - well I'm on CD12 and gearing up for all O signs and lots of BD this weekend. I've had some wierd spotting happen this cycle which I never had - from a couple of days after AF finished I have had continued blood stained cm???? really not sure what is going on. went to my GP who ran a hcg test which came back negative, and has now referred me for an abdominal u/s which i can't get in for untill next week. Guess she's checking to make sure there is nothing else going on in there after the m/c which is now starting to worry me. So i just rang the midwife at my Ob's office and she said that it is quite normal for your cycle to be a bit different untill your hormones settle down after the m/c and didn't seem to think it was anything else too much going on. That has put my mind at rest as I'm feeling a bit peeved that this has to happen now when we're ready to start ttc again. Guess i'll just have to wait and see what happens and hope that maybe we'll get a bfp!!
Has anyone else had any wierd spotting through their cycle?

I'm finding there is a fine line between thinking positive and imagining all the right outcomes, and being obsessive about ttc. I'm already thought out when our edd would be? when we'd hit the 12w mark etc ..... is this obsessive, or positive thinking/visualisation, or just plain dumb to set myself up for a big fall if it doesn't happen this month.........

Well hope you're all having a good friday, and have something to look forward to over the weekend, and maybe even some bfp's to share!

Jules

Wishing everyone a great weekend..

Is anyone testing this weekend?? Bring on some BFP news

Hi maddison

No testing here, not for over a week. BORING!

I have been getting pains in my right side, not like ovulation pains, more like a dull ache. but where my ovulation pain normally is. Its peeing me off because ive already ovulated but its too early to be other pains... :| :wall:

Hi Coco

Its boring time for me too. Stinkin TWW! Sometimes i get pains in the first week of 2ww but i think its because i feel very tense and i do it to myself. I find it hard to relax and the waiting makes me crazy. Im off to Bendigo to see the new Transformers movie with dh and some friends over the weekend and will get to play with my 19 week old niece which i always enjoy. Are you doing anything special... Another hot date with you dh this Saturday?

Hahaha, no, not having a hot date. Im working tonight & tmo night so just hanging out. Im guessing hes going to be really tired because he is in lithgow and the drive always tires him out.

I dont like having the pains..I got pains more like ovary pains from about 7dpo last month and every time I get them it means Im not pregnant. Who knows. lol I need a distraction from the tww. Dont know what to do though. Hmmm...

I guess its good to know that if something is stopping you getting pregnant (like whatever is causing your pains) you will find out about it if you have your surgery in a few weeks and it can be fixed. You have a back up plan this month which hopefully you wont need.
Its hard not to think about it. Im always so excited until the 2ww starts and then everyday is wondering and hoping. We had decided to start trying after we got married and i got pregnant within 2 months without temping or really knowing much about ttc. Now i know heaps and it just wont happen. Crazy how it seems to work like that.

My Auntie whos daughter is pregnant at the moment (20 weeks) gave me the 'just relax and it will happen' speech today. And my Mum keeps telling me how it isnt hard to get pregnant. Why is it family are the worst. I just ignore them now. Or try to.

I have a good feeling for you this month. Not sure why.. Just seems like it should be your turn.

I am HATING my mother and my uncle for saying those things "just get jiggy with it!" :wall: WE HAVE BEEN!!! CLEARLY IT ISNT WORKING!

Aww I hope its our month too, I do have a good feeling. Probably because I saw EWCM and I havent seen it before. Hoping the op wont be necessary! Good luck to you too hon xx