Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss April/May 2009

Hey all,

Just lurking at the moment.

I just wanted to say to Sally - I've been there too! Feelings of resentment and the likes. I don't truly know how I got through it, but I guess I knew in my heart that eventually I would have a forever baby, it was just timing. This time around I have some of the same feelings swirling around, but am trying to keep my head above water. I keep telling myself on the months that we aren't pg that our future baby didn't want to be born in that month and that we have too many other peoples birthdays in that month. It sometimes doesn't work - although I sit here now with tears streaming down my face. Hugs hun. We're here for you.

Belinda - With DH not being able to ejaculate. Do you think there is a deep seated problem? Apart from feeling the pressure to ejaculate (DH has had this issue too), do you think it is a fear that you falling pg might result in another m/c - please tell me to be quiet if I am overstepping the boundary. The reason I 'say' this is b/c my gf who lost her dd after 5 days born, fell pg with her ds 5 mths later. For quite sometime after he was born (like 8 mths or more), her dh would not want to have sex. She thought he was fearful that she would fall pg really soon and they may be faced with another angel baby.....

Well, better go tend to DD and do somemore housework so I don't have to do any on the weekend!

... when I mc on Easter weekend I consoled myself by telling myself and DH that my Easter egg didn't want to be fertilised. The humor in it helped ease the pain though it wasn't an immediate relief.

Megsmum........... :rofl:..... apparently its how I write.... go figure....LOL

CoCo1411.........Lurk for as long as you want hun...... we are here when you want :hug:

Milly5...... if you have any other questions hun... ask away.... you have a room full of ladies that know more on this subject than anyone ever should.:hug:

Tutmae....... so glad to hear Charlie is going well.... amuzing to me is that both you and FiFi now have a Charlie... one in pink and one in blue :bluecheer::cheer:

ferrals4...... I ve always wondered about that saying... time heals.... figured... they must know what they are talking about.... but i see it differently now.... I dont think time heals..... .... I think time gives us the skills to be able to deal with it but you will still have good days and bad days.... so I figure... if its a bad day and you need a damn good cry... go for it.... hey... I m well known for the odd "ugly cry".... the one where you make all sorts of noises when your crying... far to many bodily fluids.... ummm if you know what I mean... dont want to be to graphic:crying:

PLC1805....... Yes I know... but I ll say the same to you as I did to Mollycat... sometimes you just got to do what you just got to do...... hey... Its May tomorrow.... OMG.... for me that makes it 18 days till the big 40... so what is it for you Birthday Buddy..... I m not going to guess... I ll get in trouble.... hey... did you notice I ve already put 40 down in the sig... . trying to get used to it....LOL:cool:

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Megsmum........... :rofl:..... apparently its how I write.... go figure....LOL

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Funnily enough that's how I worked it out too! :rofl: That and the way you talked to Jen ;)

Oh and WTH is onto you too LOL

Megsmum....... Yeah I know..... WTH confronted me in an email...... :rofl:....but as for how I speak to Jen Jen.... I dont remember once telling her to bite me...... saving that one for later ;)

Muahhhhhh Love You Jen Jen :angelic:

Mannie2903.....now I m going completely mad... I swear I had already posted to you but cant find it..... ok... lock me up someone......thankss for the welcome hun.... no need for secret squirrel anymore.....;)

Greenslw..... totally agree with you about having a good cry...... I figure... dont let the odd tear... waterworks.... let it alllllllll out......(in the privacy of your own home ......LOL)..... well for me anyway:crying:

By Golly By Gosh.... I think I ve done it :leap::leap::leap:


Just a quick double check over my list...... .Yep .... I think I have.....

After this... Jen Jen... my hats of to you hun..... no idea how you do it or how you even find the time to...... this has actually taken me a couple of hours back and forth between posts and lists... OMG....

Hi Ladies,
Not so emotional now. I just so cross, in general I do so much for our bedroom antics to be nice, sexy underwear, massages etc and I was furious that he couldnt get over his tiredness and 'do it' already!
He has never done anythign like it EVER before and it was worst timing EVER because that damn fertility friend made me feel like I was 'failing' in my attempts if I didn't...

Im just so confussed.... I still have egg white mucas and I cant work ANY of it out!!!

Thank you all SO MUCH for helping and making me feel normal,
I just feel silly last night I was joking about entering 'double digits' and then THIS happened...

xxoo

I knew it was you too angel. Your first post to me under your pseudonym (after I was diagnosed with depression) had me wondering and it didn't take long after that to be certain. It always felt as though you were still around keeping an eye on us all. :hug: back at ya! Don't ever change.

Sallyk61.............dont ever feel silly.....and as for joking last night...... if we dont have hope and humour then it makes the journey so much harder.

seriously....9 days in a row.... OMG.... while most men would beat their chests as if 9 is nothing..... reality is.... my dh wouldnt be up to it.... he would love to think he would be..... but.... ever before ttc we could go 3 and I would joke with him... but come the 4th .... ohhh nooo... all of a sudden there was something on tv he just had to watch......

I dont know if this might work for you... but it did for me....... DH now has no idea at all when I m ovulating..... he obviously knows when AF is there but I say nothing to him about Ovulation.... all he knows is that he get s 'lucky' every couple of days.......and sometimes.... a couple of days in a row..... I even go as far as to some months make every time a couple in a row so there doesnt seem to be a pattern..... sounds deceptive i know.... BUT.... since then, not one issue..... I dont feel bad... he doesnt feel like a sperm donor..... and is always up to it ;)

So please hun... dont take it on board.... ignore fertility friend... any friend that makes you feel bad isnt a friend... even if its just a computer programes name ;)

Give yourself some you time... maybe a relaxing bath... a book... relax hun.... keep that body nice and ummmmm 'chilled'....lol

Sallyk61, I know what you mean... it's like guys are always wanting to DTD but as soon as you want to or need to, they're not interested. Before getting married last year DH was always after a piece. After and now that we're TTC, it's almost impossible to get him interested. Hard not to take it personally and even harder to not get upset about it when it means you have another month or so to wait before trying again.

Sally :hug: sometimes ttc can be very stressful. We tried for 10 years before I fell pg with my angel - then somehow managed to fall pg under the most trying and stressful time of our life, it can be so hard to put ttc aside for a while and just enjoy each other, I guess its about making that special commitment to enjoy each other during other times of your cycle as well as during O. Many time I was accused of just wanting a sperm donor. I believe all our trials and ttc have made us so much closer in a way that not many people ever understand.

Angel - Welcome back hun. Glad to see the squirrel back. Your advice is always wonderful. As you know, many time you helped me. Remember - Miracles happen. Yes, your first post to Hannah gave you away. But that's only because we KNOW you so well. Well done on your list(s). I've never been able to keep up like miss jen jen.

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I knew it was you too angel. Your first post to me under your pseudonym (after I was diagnosed with depression) had me wondering and it didn't take long after that to be certain. It always felt as though you were still around keeping an eye on us all. :hug: back at ya! Don't ever change.

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Hey Hannah.... it s all your fault you realise...... I was fine not saying nothing... till I read your post.... and my heart just went out and I had to do something...... regardless of absolutely everything..... putting all personal opinions aside..... if you cant be there for someone.... if you cant reach out a hand to help...... if you cant be there for them in their time of need..... then.... well IMO its all not worth to much if you cant..... so i had to put my personal opinions on various things that had happened aside... for you..... then i left again.... and then the thread which was such a sancturary for us all was... well... wont comment... but I had to come back to see if I could help turn it back into what we all loved so much.....

So yeah... I was sprung... by far to many I might add:redface:

Glad to see you "face to face" though..... and ALWAYS... know you can PM me anytime:hug:

now I know why I thought I had posted when I hadnt... cause I changed screens... which meant I also left out someone... goodness...



RhiChiChi.......Regardless of how long we do this for...... it stays a rollercoaster...... I understood your post...... sometimes you can convince yourself... othertimes it just plain hurts..... HUGE hugs to YOU hun :hug:

Mollycat..... well I knew you knew.....LOL... how could you not.... ;)...hugs hun... just hugs :hug:

Wow, finally got around to reading back through all of the posts. It sure has been hectic around here lately. I'm not even going to try and do persies for everyone cos I wouldn't even know where to start!!

Sally: I used FF and it confused me greatly too. Just so you know, although it is really really helpful, it told me that I had an annovulatory cycle the same cycle that I fell pg, so my advice is to use it as a guide but don't let it stress you out!! As much as we would love to know with 100% certainty what the heck is going on with our cycles at the end of the day it's just not an exact science. I hope you're feeling a bit better and here's a big :hug: from me!!

sally - :hug: I too have been guilty of treating DH like a sperm donor at times. We've had some very unromantic encounters just because we didn't want to miss the opportunity. I'm still not sure whether it feels worse to let the opportunity pass, or to just BD for the sake of it and feel kind of empty afterwards. Take some time out for yourself (angel's suggestion of a relaxing bath is a great one) to let your thoughts and emotions settle. Then give your DH a big cuddle and talk to him about it. It wouldn't surprise me if your both actually feeling similar things.

angel - I am very touched that you 'broke cover' for me as well as by what you wrote. And I'm glad you're back. If jen is our mother hen, then you are our guardian angel :hug:. And thankyou for bringing back the support and humour after a tense couple of days.

Hannah........ You are more than welcome hun.....:hug:..... and Jen Jen... she is deffinately mother hen isnt she... has she ever mentioned the photo that Krystielove photoshoped...... Ohhhh tooooo funny..... It is a photo of when I went down to Melbourne and Met Krytie....DH took our photo and then she photo shopped it and put a big hen between us......that way Jen Jen could feel like she was there with us as well.... I still have it... its soooo funny.

Oh and thankyou hun.... that is a huge compliment.... thank you

Just a quick one from me saying hi! big thanks to everyone who replied to me. Julie... its funny you say that because that is exactly what I said to DH... he had to see me go through the d&c - which was so so scary for me because I had never had any sort of procedure before - that was my first time under a general - so I was very scared! then he had to watch me basically have contractions for 4 days... so I thought maybe he thought that "happy ending" meant pregnancy = miscarriage loss and pain... I asked him about it and he said that he didn't think he specificially thought like that - but i guess we will never know whats going on in there :) thanks so much for your reply.

Angel - great job with the persies... :) i've almost got my eyes closed in anticipation :lol:

MO3B - thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for the chat this afternoon. DH is booked in with the doctor tomorrow morning at 8:15. So, we are both going and I will have my next lot of blood tests done, as will he .... plus his dr appointment. I :pray: they are able to help out.

quick AFM - I have been told that the uterus biopsy has to be done 11 days after O.... so that means we do have to sit this cycle out and make sure there is no chance of pregnancy. DH said it seems strange... the complete opposite to what we normally do and have been doing for such a long time. Hmmm, guess a change in routine is always a bit odd :p best of luck to all you lovely ladies for this month.. I :pray: I will be the only one not in the pregnancy section by the end of the month - but I will sure miss you all ;) lol

Hi girls its been so busy in here its hard to keep up!
Just wanted to ask if ya don't mind but how did you cope when you were approaching your angels EDD's? My angel was supposed to be due 21st May and some people who were in my bellybelly group have already had their babies! I have tried to let go and thought I was dealing with it well but then seeing the date approach just makes me cry. Do you all still think of your angel babies everyday? even when you have gone on to have other children? Im finding it hard to be excited and happy about this bub atm when Im so sad about my other who I never got to know and I HATE not knowing what is was - I can't even name it. (I hate calling it "it")
Sorry for the all about me post!

hi again ladies.

coco - I sent an email to both email addresses now!

thanks to whoever it was that sent me the link on temping & shift work - I forgot who sorry, it was a few pages back. Temping just seems so much harder than the OPKs - is it?
I watched my CM as well, but it didn't seem to match up with the OPKs. Seemed for the first few months we were TTC and going off CM we started a bit early and then couldn't sustain it (yep I too am too old for 9 times in a row! LOL! I think DH would have a heart attack - but smiling!!)
Seriously though, I can't sustain it - honey moon cystitis - ye old UTIs kicked in. That's why I did like the OPKs because they narrowed that window down a bit for us.

And yes, it seems we also have a bit of a barney on BD night, especially when it's the last "green day" of the month.

We have tried to make sure we don't have to cook on BD night (with us both working, we hardly ever BD work nights before we were TTC, but it seems that green days always fall work days, never on days off!!
So at least we can come home, and have something we prepared earlier or if we're being a bit naughty a take-away, just so that we can have more time - and the dishes get to wait till the next day too.

Though we are going to be out this month. When I had my bloods done, they did the rubella, and it was a bit low, so I decided that now would be an opportune time to get a booster, seeing as I had to wait till after my next visit from AF to TTC anyway.

My HGC levels still haven't dropped to zero yet, but here's hoping (please no D&C).

So I'm passing my babydust to someone else this month ....

Erybery - yes I think about my angel babies all the time - especially no 1 - still haven't quite got my head around no 2 yet. sending you hugs.

Hey erybery,
I have never forgotten my Angel babies & I never will, even though I have a perfectly healthy DD. When I was pg with DD, they were all I thought about b/c I was too afraid to be totally committed to loving her in case she wasn't going to be forever. It still makes me cry thinking about it. I remember when she was being born, I just kept saying to myself, please cry then I know you are alive.... Sorry if that was too graphic for some people.
I have three angels watching over us now & I agree with what others have said - you never get over it, you just learn to cope. EDD are difficult at the minimum, I try not to think too much about what might have been but I think that is more protection for me & perhaps because we have DD & we celebrate her life (on her birthday).

Belinda - It's great that you & DH can talk about that stuff so openly. I have great difficulty expressing myself without crying, yelling and a range of other emotions. Plus I don't like putting my negative or other feelings on other people (well most of the time).

erybery - my honeymoon babies EDD was the 10th Feb.. and all along I was saying I would be happy to be pregnant again by the due date.. that was the goal I had kinda set (for lack of a better term - maybe it was just a silver lining I was looking for to a very dark cloud?) and when we fell preg I was over the moon.. but fate was not on our side and we lost that one too. So, I can't really say what I would have been like if I were preg. I found the EDD a really hard day. I wish I could have sat in bed and just cried the day away, but my work doesn't have any staff so I had to go in and sit there and see pregnant women and new born babies wandering past the store all day long. It was horrible and not a good day at all.

I hope you are able to find a better silver lining on your litle ones EDD. ... and if not - its ok to be sad. :hug:

oh and in terms of calling it "it" could you name your little one a name which would suit both sexes? then you wouldn't have to say it... just an idea that I had actually been toying with for our honeymoon baby (as I want to name them). I have already named one of ours "Hope" because I am so so sure it was a little girl and because I had so much hope throughout the whole pregnancy that it would all be ok this time and she had showed us sooo much hope throughout the 4wks we knew abou t her. But with our honeymoon baby i didn't have a very strong boy/girl vibe.. so thought that we might do that ourselves.

Rhi - yeah DH and I are good like that - most of the time - there are some things we struggle with talking about but we are lucky in the sense that we can lay in bed of a night and discuss these sorts of things pretty openly. We did pre marital counseling which really helped us understand what we need from each other in terms of "information sharing" as she put it. :)

Aaw erybery :comfort:. I think about my angel all the time. I didn't cope very well coming up to my angel's EDD in Feb. I actually coped much better on the day than I had leading up to it. I think because DH and I had talked about it and made a plan. It didn't seem right to just let the day pass. We had a pretty quiet day at home. I refused to answer the phone or the door. In the evening we went and had fish and chips at the beach and went for a walk. I wrote a goodbye message in the sand. It was nice to just be together and think about what could have been. Since that day I've been feeling at lot more at peace about my loss.

Our angels don't leave us. And the fact that you remember and still think about your angel doesn't mean you love the little girl inside you any less. :hug::hug:

erybery.......the only way I can answer this is with complete honesty and openess.... It hurt like hell hun... I cried.... most of the day.... ugly cries... sobbing...I looked down at my arms and cried because I should have had one in each arm.... they should have been there.... but they werent.....all day I kept looking down at my arms..... sobbing......a thousand 'why me's"...........

one thing I will say is..... allow it to be whatever it is to YOU..... please please please... do not try and force yourself to 'skip over it'. Prepare for it... maybe organise so that you have time to yourself that day to be able to take the time. Its a non wonder woman day...... be sad, be cranky... be whatever... just be honest with what you are feeling and ALLOW yourself to feel it.....its the healthiest way to deal with it.

Ohhh I also have a song for them..... Avril Lavign..... I Miss You...... I play it every now and again... and sing it to them..... yes it brings tears everytime... but its my way of connecting to them.... I look up... and just sing it to them. Its coming up to 18months since they grew wings..... I have 2 grown boys...... well men really.....20 and 17 but..... I have 4 children, not 2 and Cameron and Krystal will ALWAYS be in my heart everyday and I love them all individually.

Having a slight giggle at the irony! My DP has had a VC and would go twice a day 365 a year, but it wont help TTC. He said the VC increased his stamina. Which is the funny bit. I am still glad we went the ICSI path though. I really do like the control aspect of ICSI, if we had a reversal the pressure would be on me not the doctors. Funny how my brain works. And also the number of late 40's 50's unwanted babies I've seen recently. It would really suck if no Baby now and one when I am 50 and DP is 65. so ICSI for us.

Although the doctor said that :bd: is still good post FET so while I'm hormonal and not interested.... ah we're never at the same point DP and I. I'm morning he's night. I guess it's the hole opposites attract thing. It works but it's a challenge.

After all my work venting I think my staff member is having trouble with her hubby. bummer. if it was work it's easy, home life is the complicate dthing....... :doh:

yep tears, chocolate, a good glass of wine (if your not BFP ) and a good work out fixes most things

I'm too tired/overwhelmed to post properly tonight...sorry :redface:

But can I say what a wonderful, supportive, nurturing collective of women belong here? Congratulations everyone. It is inspiring to be a small part of all your journeys, and thank you for sharing mine.

:grouphug:

My day has been completely self absorbed and Im sorry for that!
Dh and I had a big talk and I think he did feel like a sperm donor in the morning, it is so so out of our routine and he reacted...
Then (like any good wife would) I reacted to an even grander scale!!

Plus I still feel like I was right (he he he) and he doesnt read this so I WAS right!......

Thanks again, my day was shocking but checking in every now and again helped make me smile on a day I thought I woudlnt!

xxoo

Hey ladies
just thought i'd see how everyone is today it's good to here other's are having the same sort of issue's with their DH i asked my DH if he felt like a sperm donor he said no but feels under pressure to get me pregnant and when our work clashes with my fertile days that just makes it more of a chore but he said he knows its not my fault and dos'nt blame me we both want a healthy baby before we get to old so it's worth it and we make up for it at other times anyway had a bad day today found out my oldest son has to have a major op on his ear this will be number 6 to try and save his hearing in that ear and our real estate has given us 60 days to vacate our house as the owners want to move back in so now we have to house hunt and i have to pack my daughters nursery up i hav'nt been into her room since we lost her and no one has touched a thing so i'm siting here having a jack's and caffine free diet coke(at least the coke is ok)trying not to stress.
on another note has anyone had temps go from 36.9 down to 35.7 so early in their cycle (day 7 today) seems a bit low
Me35:kissing:Dh37
Ds15Ds13Ds11
:angel:Abbi 20/3/09 19w5d
:ttc:
http://newtickers.bump-and-beyond.co...037/303717.png

Hey ladies
just thought i'd see how everyone is today it's good to here other's are having the same sort of issue's with their DH i asked my DH if he felt like a sperm donor he said no but feels under pressure to get me pregnant and when our work clashes with my fertile days that just makes it more of a chore but he said he knows its not my fault and dos'nt blame me we both want a healthy baby before we get to old so it's worth it and we make up for it at other times anyway had a bad day today found out my oldest son has to have a major op on his ear this will be number 6 to try and save his hearing in that ear and our real estate has given us 60 days to vacate our house as the owners want to move back in so now we have to house hunt and i have to pack my daughters nursery up i hav'nt been into her room since we lost her and no one has touched a thing so i'm siting here having a jack's and caffine free diet coke(at least the coke is ok)trying not to stress.
on another note has anyone had temps go from 36.9 down to 35.7 so early in their cycle (day 7 today) seems a bit low
Me35:kissing:Dh37
Ds15Ds13Ds11
:angel:Abbi 20/3/09 19w5d
:ttc:
http://newtickers.bump-and-beyond.co...037/303717.png

Hi all

I feel like a bit of a freak in saying that my DH & I dont have fights at :bd: time but more happy and excited? Im sure that if we were to go long term and have to get riiiight into TTC then maybe we would :)

I POAS today and the second line of the OPK was visible as opposed to the previous 2 days not being visible so expecting a surge tonight or tomorrow or very soon anyway. I am :pray: reeeeeeeeaaaally hard that my googy egg deploys before sunday or on sunday because DH is going away for a week on Sunday at 3-4pm. lol Not that im counting...

My Average :fertilise: day is cd12 or so, so here's hoping!!!:pray:

Sorry bout the double post stupid computer does stupid things or maybe to many jacks(LOL):ROFL:

Good Morning Gurlies!


Sally...sometimes you just gotta take it...LOL...I literally climbed on top of Lee as he was sleeping and look at me now...he was protesting as he went to sleep BUT I KNEW it was O time sooo I waited patiently and as soon as he was snoring wah-la he woke up smiling...and I am now UTD with our precious Nahla!

Have a wonderful Thursday ladies...it's raining here...yuck!

:bluedust::pink-babydust:
:stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:

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Good Morning Gurlies!

I just want to takea moment to commend Angel on her fabulous posts! Atta Girl for you :lol:

Sally...sometimes you just gotta take it...LOL...I literally climbed on top of Lee as he was sleeping and look at me now...he was protesting as he went to sleep BUT I KNEW it was O time sooo I waited patiently and as soon as he was snoring wah-la he woke up smiling...and I am now UTD with our precious Nahla!

Have a wonderful Thursday ladies...it's raining here...yuck!

:bluedust::pink-babydust:
:stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:

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:rofl: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaha that is the best mental image I have had all day! WOO!

shortcake - sorry that you have been so crook, pls look after yourself......:hug:

smi - hun, so good to see your posts, big hugs sweet

angel - welcome back hun ;) it's where you should be - giving all the love and support in here for the girls like you gave me not so long ago - you are our guardian angel :hug:

erybery - sweet you need some of these :hug: :hug: :hug: take care ok?

hello and hugs to you all :grouphug:

You know what I m going to do... post a as soon as there are a couple...so that way it doesnt take me as long as it did today.;)

meh.......It is an amaizing group of women in here.... it always has been.... and we do.... we become part of each others journeys....ohhh go on... i think i can feel a group hug coming up... ohhh yep... here we go :grouphug:

sallyk61......we are all allowed the occasional self absorbed day....... and besides... on here... DH s are always wrong and we are ALWAYS right.... its lesson number one on the BB lessons..;)

ferrals4.......packing up that nursery...... not going to be easy hun... I dont know... maybe a way to move to the next phase......not suggesting you do... but maybe... maybe by then you might be in a place within yourself where you may be able to.

Coco......looks like dh stress is the go at BD time... maybe you may just need to pull dh into line and say.... "Look.... your meant to me grumpy and painful.. would you please get your act togther and do what all the other DHs (and call him DHs).... are doing... your making me stand out....its embarrasing"...... either that or just run with it and thank your lucky stars

smilanatu...... Jumping on Lee..... now... how is it that i am soooo NOT surprised........:ROFL:..... funny how they wake up with a smile...;)

PLC1805 BB..... Thank You Hun....Muahhhhhh....Love Ya :loveshower::loveshower::loveshower:

Ohhh and Boble..... You ll have your eyes closed for a while hun... I ll sneak it in when your least expecting it......LOL... (insert smilie... I ve run out AGAIN)....lol

OMG.... well done, Angel on the persies... looks like I'm going to have some competition! :rofl: Does this mean I have to make my post extra long? LMAO... kidding... I can't tell you how happy I am to see your beautiful avi back around here! :hug: And the laughs.... you've always been able to give me a good laugh! ;)

I do, however, have 5 pages of posts that I'm trying to catch up on... I was going to start, as I've got 1 1/2 pages of written posts to type, but I KNOW that many of you have posted again since page 5, so I'm going thru this page by page... it IS time consuming, isn't it, Angel? :o But it's SOOOOOO worth it! I'm just being reminded though, that you can't miss a day of posting--there's just so much to catch up on! :o

So.... in my best Terminator accent.... "I'LL BE BACK"! .... just on the subject... am I the only one that finds it weird that I've seen my Governor's bum? :rofl: :rofl:


BBS! :grouphug:

OMG.... I'm finally done catching up! It didn't really take 3 hours, but I got called in for noon aide... and I'm sure you all remember that the word "No" doesn't seem to be in my vocabulary--unless I'm talking to the kids or DF! LMAO I think that's the most frequently used word out of my mouth around my house!

So I'm now home, and ready to catch up! Wanted to first start out by giving a huge :grouphug: and many thanks to Angel, Hannah, meh, Mel, smi, plc, & issy for all of your sweet, sweet words! :redface: I've never taken compliments well... but yes, I was blown away, and just wanted you to all know how much I appreciate the friendships that we've built!

Angel--It's a HUGE load off my shoulders that the squirrel has been sprung! *whew!* You can blame Hannah for your blown cover, but you called me jen jen... that was your biggest giveaway! But you're right--I had forgotten those endearing words that I used to hear so frequently... "bite me", and will take advantage of the fact that I haven't heard them yet... that just means I have some work to do! Those words have to be earned! LMAO

On a serious note, though, you've always been the glue that holds this thread together--so if I've learned anything at all, I learned from the best! :hug: You truly are the guardian angel of our little thread! Thanks for getting things back to the way they should be! Love you lots!



MO3B--You should be here! :hug: Love you and miss you my cyber twin!



boble--Hi and *hugs* for my RB buddy! Wish you the best of luck with the BT's! Sorry to hear that you have to sit a cycle out--maybe the change in routine is just what you need to get that BFP! They say things come when you least expect it!



Hannah--Hey cyber sister! Your post had me in tears! Thanks so much, and I also can't imagine not being a part of the rest of your journey! But don't worry--you're stuck with me! I'm with you all the way, hon! Hugs and bellyrubs!



meh--Thanks for your compliments (and your PM--I'm sorry I didn't respond to it sooner!) How's that zen space working for you? Big *hugs*



Rhi--I'm sorry to hear you feel as though you haven't dealt with your loss well... sometimes we have days where it just kinda sneaks up on you... and it's such a bumpy, windy, rollercoaster ride--sometimes you don't know if you're coming or going... you wonder if that's a light at the end of the tunnel.... or wait... is that a train headed right for you? Remember you're among friends that understand and care, don't feel ashamed to vent if you need to! *hugs* Sorry to hear that DH is having issues at work--that never helps alleviate stress, hope things clear up soon! Hope you enjoy the yoga and it helps relieve some tension.

Ooh, almost forgot to say thanks for the orange flourless cake! Scrum diddly!



charm--Glad to hear your DH will be home for O! Best of luck catching that egg!



cherished--Looks like it's about O time... are your BD shoes on? Also wanted to send you some extra big :hug:



issy--Hey my friend! Angel's right, you're one classy lady! ;) I sure was looking forward to that mud pie, though! :doh: Big *hugs* for you, hon, you've traveled more than your fair share of this bumpy road, and I'm so pleased that things are going so well for you! Bellyrubs from me to you!



Mel--Happy belated b-day to DH! He already got the best present in the world! :confetti:



Ok, there's a start..... I still have 1 1/2 pages of posts to type, but have to get some money in the bank--pronto! Eek! Will be back to finish my novel! lol...

hi there,

Jen - how are you feeling today? I hope you are right and sitting this month out is what we need... I wouldn't mind having a March baby - so hopefully next month will be it for us since I have been so good and patient.. well, sort of ;) :rolleyes:

Angels - lol. I think you might have a good idea about checking in sooner between posts. That lot was probably much easier - and you almost had enough smilieys too :) I hope you are going well!

plc - :hug:

smi - haha - my DH would kill me if I woke him up - he loves his sleep lmao

coco - i hope you catch that eggie. good luck. and yay for you for not having any probs at O time - thats awesome!

ferrals - argh, seems like you have a lot going on atm.. I hope you are able to find a new place soon and DS's surgery goes well.

sally - there is nothing wrong with you being right :) i couldn't help but giggle when i read that because that sounds like me. I'm never wrong, only misinformed sometimes hehe

Greenslw - I hope you are going well.

and me - well, 10 vials of blood later for this mornings blood tests. Oh well, the things we have to do. DH had 6 taken this morning, which was way better then the one he got last time :P He also had a doctors appointment and the dr has requested some additional bloods for testosterone - he also got the full check up down there too and all is good.

I'm back! Sorry that took so long--DS and I ended up at the animal shelter adopting a new cat! :o His 'Cooper' disappeared a few weeks ago, and was already a replacement for another Cooper that disappeared. So.... it's a girl! lol... She's orange and white, and her name is Sunny.... or Chloe, DS can't seem to decide! She's about a year old, but DS likes the fact that he helped save a cat from the shelter!




ferrals--Sorry to hear that DS has to have another ear op! I hope that this will be the last, and it helps with his hearing! It sounds as though you've got a lot of stress at the moment, with DS, having to move, pack up the nursery... Sounds like you could use a couple :hug: and those jacks with coke! No apologies for alcohol induced double posts! ROFL



Angel--A few threads back the same thing happened with my computer! I would have to enter in the most odd-ball things--and I would think WTF? I thought it was only me--people kept laughing at my computer antics, but I couldn't figure out why all of a sudden I was having to enter in a code just to leave a post! I think in your case it was due to the amount of posts, or lack thereof....but I don't know why it happened to me! Oh, and I also couldn't post in colors, or use my smilies--that was the same time that the photo gallery disappeared, and it's still gone! Lucky for me I at least got my colors and smilies back... still looking for that photo gallery... is anyone else still missing theirs up at the top of the page? Poor boble still has her eyes closed in anticipation... how long are you going to keep her in suspense? LOL



sally-- :thumbsup: 9 nights straight! Way to "take one for the team"! Don't tell my DF--he'll want me to take one for the team, too! LMAO I was expecting to see your coverline today, but when I wrote this you were still asleep, and now if I go back and check your chart, I'll lose my post! So hopefully it's there! lol...



Mannie--Was that pun intended with your "go with the flow" statement? :rofl:



smallfryplus--I bled for 7 days after my m/c, then had a 25 day cycle, which is pretty short for me. I ended up taking extra vitamin B6 to help lengthen my LP, and now my usual cycle is 27 days. Unfortunately, everyone is different... some women go right back to their previous cycles, where others take months to regulate. On the subject of catching DH's interest at O time, or "keeping things interesting" I've discovered that watching a kinky movie is a great way to get him interested and ensure a grand finale! lol...



Shortcake--Sorry to hear about your trip to the ER! So glad to hear you're home recovering and taking it easy--you better not be unpacking, missy! :hug:



sunny--Sounds like you've been a busy bee! Hope your TWW flies by!



smi--You TAKE it from Lee, girl! Well...apparently you took it! I actually remember when you told us about that! That brings the whole "taking on for the team" a whole new meaning! :rofl:



Greenslw--Good luck losing those comfort kg's! Hopefully after next week's FET, you'll just gain it all back--in all the right places!



megsmum--:hug: for my fishy friend! Thinking of you always and sending lots of bellyrubs your way!



tutmae--I'll never forget that "annovulatory" cycle of yours! Big *hugs* for you and Charlie!



erybery--I'm sorry to hear that your angel's EDD is approaching. *hugs* I know that, for me, the lead-up was worse than the actual day... I bought a candle that I kept lit for the whole day in memory of my angel, and we also planted a pink hibiscus in our garden out front. I'm sure it's easier said than done, but try not to stress too much about it--it's all about remembering and honoring your angel, while you nurture that little fighter you've been blessed with! Whatever you decide will be special!



milly--Your welcome for the link! ;) I personally think temping/charting is a great insight to what's going on with your cycle. I didn't start out temping, tho... I began charting my CM & CP, but it just wasn't an accurate way for me to judge what was going on with my cycle. So then began my addiction--noooo, I mean my dedication--to temping. lol... I have also used OPK's, which worked well for me. They're all valuable tools, but by far, the temping is the most helpful in my case. As long as you get 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, there shouldn't be any reason why the BBT wouldn't work with your shift work. Good luck, hon, whatever you decide. Just ask if you have any other questions--you're sure to get several different perspectives, which can be helpful in making a decision that works best for you.



coco--Good luck catching that egg

Erbery: Big hugs darling woman.. :comfort: EDD's are difficult times - it just is bloody hard. Nothing will take that away. Knowing that there are others who truly understand can really help to unpack it in a safe place - and I hope soon this thread will return to a place of safety for that... :hug:

How you deal with your due date will be a very personal thing - for me it wasn't the actual day - as baby's are rarely born on their due date. It was around that time for a few weeks that I really felt fragile. For my 2 daughters and my son who were born in the second trimester they have a rose bush each. The Universe works in mysterious ways - and each year on the day they were born and died :cry: those roses have been unfailingly in bloom.. I am not of Christian faith but I am very spiritual & I believe that the Universe is showing me just a little glimpse of their beautiful souls...

I never think why me - for the answer to that is why not? Sad, tragic things happen every day and I am not so special that they don't happen to me. What I do know though is that all that we are faced with is not an accident. There is a message in all that crosses our paths. Each of my babies (more so for me personally, my late loss babies) taught me something valuable. They also grew my heart bigger. Through the tragedy and sadness I can see that there is a light side too. For in this world there is always yin and yang, dark and light. Right in the moment of loss and for the time soon after - the lessons are not apparent - but when we look with open full hearts - there is something golden that our babies have left for us imprinted in our hearts... It just takes time... :hug: I pray gorgeous woman that soon you will see a little glimmer of a rainbow - soon... :hug: I remember never thinking it would come but it did for me eventually.

Something I have done is decorated a Christmas bauble just for my Angels - I hav done this around due dates - it felt constructive. I am blessed to have beautiful Women in my life that made small quilts for each of my 3 late loss babies - these are mounted on the wall of Imogen's nursery - those Angels watch over her - of that I am certain... Maybe something like that if you are crafty?

MY road to holding a live baby in my arms was so so so long - and so very very painful. For the longest time looking at those rose bushes made me sob - but now they make me smile. I open the box that I have stored inside me and let the sadness out sometimes - especially on Angelversaries - but mostly I give thanks for the light that they did bring that was very hard to find...

Part of the light was the miracle of Immy - even though it was harrowing (Imogen was born at 28 weeks and I was in hosptial for 5 weeks after her birth and 2 weeks prior - that's another story!). For me another part of the light was learning to really trust myself and trust the Universe. That was truly big.

Would I give it all back - well that is the unanswerable question - for really I can't go back I could only go forward. For me I decided that I wasn't going to allow them to die in vain. That I was going to make it count for something. But it is hard some days I felt I couldnt get out of bed. But I pledged that I would - that I would make it through.

Blessings and love to you Erbery - can you tell me your baby's due date and I will light my Kuan Yin candle as I do for all angels on their special days. I wish I could hug you in person - but I am sending it through the ether... Thinking of you Mama Erbery... :hug:

sally--Bugger, no coverline! I think it's because you missed Wed's temp... guess we'll see tomorrow! :crossfingers:



Huge apologies, I know I've missed some of you.... Angel, I think you got me beat--this time! :rofl: It's only 8:00, but I'm exhausted... and still have to do dishes! :o


Please, just cuz I haven't mentioned you, doesn't mean you aren't thought of and loved! :grouphug:

Just thougth I'd send this to all you lovely ladies and welcome back Angel Babies I just knew it was you!!! God Bless you all!and Im hoping we get more BFP's this weekend thinking of you Mrzbaby!!:pray:

And Jen - sorry yes it was a pun to the witch! I really really hate her sometimes!

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Speaking of doing things to commemorate...

DH & I planted a tree called Orange Twist and it has just over the last couple of days, started flowering white fluffy flowers :) Very happy! I cried when i noticed it and DH gave me a massive hug and we were just standing there looking at our "babytree" :) *sigh*