Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss -February 2009

Babymiracles - I am so glad that the BT results were so promising and the bleeding has stopped. :pray: that everything is alright and everything goes well with your scan on Wednesday. GL

Jen - Thanks for posting that poem. I actually come across it too, when I lost our angel in Nov and it brought tears to my eyes, thanks for sharing it.

Megsmum - Sorry to hear about that cold. Look after yourself & enjoy the sunshine coast.

Mrzbaby & bobble - Welcome - I am sorry you have to join this group, but you will find the best support and the most wonderful ladies here, all the best with your TTC journey. I hope it is a short one for you both.

HannahD - Hope you have booked some great pampering day, you deserve it! ;)

Mel - I am glad you got some answers with your Op. All the best now with your fresh start TTC. :D

Hi everyone

I just wanted to pop in and say hi to all of you.

I have been so busy lately and by the time I get home I jump on and read everyone's posts but have been too drained to post replies. Sorry :redface:

I am seeing the OB and diabetic specilaist on Wed and having another scan on Friday.

Sending lotsa :bluedust::pink-babydust: to you all

Theresa xxxx

babymiracles - Those HCG levels are looking great. I hope they get you through to Wednesday without too much stress. :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:

shortcake - :hello: and thanks.

megsmum - Sorry to read about the cold. Hope you feel better soon.

jackjack - I hope that the bleeding has finally stopped for you. Enjoy your time away.

polly - :hello: Haven't see you for a while. How's things?

theresa - I hope your appointments this week go smoothly. Will be thinking of you.

Hi everyone.
thank you all again for the welcomes :) im already feeling very comfortable and welcome here - thanks so much ladies.

babymiracles - those levels sound amazing! I am sure they will keep rising from here and everything will be perfect for your scan. Can't wait to hear how it goes.

I have had a happy and sad day today. A friend of mine had a baby on the 12th Feb. her and I were preg together back in june/july.. she was due one week behind me.. so I was a bit worried as to how i would go seeing her after yet another m/c for me.. but it was great. I got to have some lovely cuddles.. but he was a bit hungry at the time so kept squeeking (the cutest cry ever!) so we only stayed for a bit and left so the new mummy could concentrate on feeding :)

but here is the sad part... another friend of ours is preg... she was due 3 weeks before me during my last pregnancy... but she messaged today to tell me that her baby has downs so they have decided to terminate as they had originally planned from the get go.. she is in her early 40's so she knew it was a chance but it must be so heartbreaking to make that decision. they had been ttc for 12 months prior to this pregnancy. They have a little girl who turns 2 in may who is just gorgeous.. but it was very sad to hear about what they are going through. She would be around 15 weeks :( they said they are going to start ttc again when they are able to... I am :pray: that they have an easier time next time.

sorry i haven't got the hang of doing lots of personals yet.. but I will get there ;) thinking of you all and hoping you are well :)

Hey everyone

Boble- just wanted to say that I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, that's really sad news.

Hannah- Thanks I hope so too especially in time for our holiday!

Polly- Hi I'm not sure that we've crossed paths yet :hello:

Theresa- Good luck with your appointments and great to hear your doing well.:D

Thinking off maybe going back to see my doctor before going away, just get these pains checked out I'm really worried that it's going to mean another million appointments for scans that get us no where but end up just costing us heaps of money that we really cant afford, I don't know what to do. Please feel free to tell me what you guys think.
Feeling a bit sad this afternoon just feels like problem after problem and nothing looks up for us, should be going into my third trimester and I'm feeling really sad about it, a girl from work who's pregnant came in today really excited that she's in her third trimester now and it just reminded me that I should be too:wall:

Hi Jen - I'm back as promised ;) Sorry I'm not a morning person so I find it hard to post then, I'm always running late :redface: I know when I become a mother that will soon change though! :lol:

Now to try and answer your questions.....I'll try to be as much help as I can but since the m/c I find it hard to remember some of my symptoms - they all seem to run into the same months :rolleyes:

Basically as well as having the lap to check for endo I also had the dye put into my tubes to see if there was any blockages (apparently it is quite common after a m/c if you haven't had a D&C). Well, the Dr said he had to apply compression to my left tube to get the dye to flush through my right. I had multiple blockages in my right tube (mucus). I also had a procedure called a hysteroscopy to examine the inside of my uterus.

Before the m/c I used to get slight o pains each month but now I get cramps every month and there have been a few months where I have had extreme pain (but not every month). Strange huh? But when I did have the bad pains they were on my right side, like really bad to the point where I could barely stand. I also now get cramping about a week before AF which I never have had before, I used to only get cramps just before AF arrived and during AF. It will be interesting to see if it happens next month before AF although I hope she stays away altogether!

I'm sorry I haven't really helped very much :rolleyes: Since my op I am suggesting to anyone who has suffered a m/c and never had a D&C that blocked tubes could be a possibility. I had never even thought or heard about it until my specialist told me about 5 weeks ago. I would definitely talk to your Dr about it. You can have another procedure under local anaethestic to check for if your tubes are blocked. Because I was already having the lap they decided to check my tubes as well.

It's a personal decision but I just know that I didn't feel 'right' and really felt something was wrong for the last 15 months. I just wish I had been better informed and had insisted on seeing a specialist earlier, it may have saved many months of disappointment and pain :( Oh well, at least I have the answers now and hopefully the op has made the difference :)

I hope I have helped in some small way and not confused you more - bascially in a nut shell if I had my time over I would have the op again. Even if I hadn't gotten any answers at least I would know one way or the other (IYKWIM?).

Good luck at the Dr's - yuck a pap smear on your birthday? You definitely deserve to treat yourself to a spa treatment after that :D

Jackjack - As you may have read in my last post to Jen (but to everyone it may help!) I do get o pains but I have never had any bleeding with them. I would definitely go back to your Dr to get some tests or scans done. I know it can be so expensive, DH & I sometimes joke we have spent the baby bonus before we have even fallen pg! We are lucky we have been in the position we have been able to afford it. I just think every test we have had done (whether we found answers or not) has been worth it as we feel we are doing something and each time we hope we are one step closer to holding our forever baby.

Your situation is different in the fact that you are in pain and have had bleeding for a number of weeks. There must be a reason as I do not believe that is normal. If I were you I would be going back to the Dr and demand answers. It is your body and you deserve to find out what is going on. Good luck, hope you feel better soon :hug:

boble - Sorry to hear about your friend, what a terrible situation to be in. Just a devastating decision to have to make. After our m/c DH & I tried to console ourselves with the fact that if our baby did have an abnormality at least the deicsion to terminate was not left up to us.
Good for you for holding your friend's baby, I know it must have been hard :hug:

babymiracles - Woo hoo for great results - so happy for you. Good luck for your scan on Wed :goodluck:

Hi to Hannah, polly, theresa, megsmum, mannie, plc, AJC, WTH, possums, fifi, tam, tutmae and anyone else I may have missed.

Sorry have a bit of a headache at the moment so have to put the computer away :(

Hannah--I think you're going to receive an F on that homework assignment! :rofl: But I know from experience how hard it is to do something nice for yourself... funny that it should be that way, tho... when you consider that we have to take care of ourselves in order to be capable of taking care of a little one that is solely relying on us! When is your next appt? Is there still time to pass this assignment?



NaeNae--Always nice to meet a fellow BB addict! It's hard to stay away, isn't it?



babymiracles--Oh, honey, I'm SO relieved for you! :leap: What great results! Sending some extra :stickyvibesgirl: for Wed's scan!



:hello: and big *hugs* for Shortcake & Polly!



megsmum--Sorry to hear you're not feeling well! *hugs* I seem to have come down with something, as well, and probably had about the same amount of sleep as you! Hope you're feeling better today!



jackjack--Sorry you're feeling down! *hugs* I think it's probably for the best that you get yourself checked out--if only for your own peace of mind. Based on Mel's experience, I think it's best to make every attempt possible to avoid months of pain and disappointment! I know I'm certainly going to ask my dr. about it! What if, after all this time, my tubes have been blocked, making it impossible to get pg? Makes you wonder.... could it really be something so simple to fix?

I pray the bleeding stays away, and you enjoy your visit to the Sunshine Coast! Be safe!



Theresa--Best of luck with your appointments and your scan! :stickyvibesgirl:



boble--What a devastating decision for your friend to have to make! They're in my thoughts and prayers! And you--what a trooper holding your friend's newborn! It's tough, but such a huge step in overcoming your grief! :clap:



Mel--Thanks for the info! I waited all day with baited breath for you to get back to me! :nahnah: You know I'm just teasing.... Anyhow, I have a major :tmi: question for you.... before your op, during AF, did you ever notice any expelled... tissue, I guess? Sorry, I told you, ew! I've noticed a couple times what seems to be some sort of tissue or something... even during my last AF... so it makes me wonder about the whole leftover stuff from not having a D&C. Do you know if the stuff blocking the tube eventually works its way out, or does it stay, and the leftover tissue is from the uterus? I'm so confused!

Jen - Ever since the m/c AF has been different but I seemed to have lots of clots and what seemed to be tissue. I had never had that before. I had very painful periods as well but think that was the endo.

Not sure if it would eventually work it's way out as I had a few blockages and the Dr had to apply pressure on my tube to get it out so I would say no, it would have stayed there without the op. I probably would have eventually gotten pg on 1 tube but who knows how long it would have taken? Not to mention the risk of etopic pg increases with blocked tubes and infections.

Definitely get it checked at, if only for your peace of mind. I :pray: you find some answers. I feel so much better since I have got them. I know it doesn't mean I will fall pg but it is a start!

Wow, I actually posted of a morning! Didn't want you to wait all day for my answer this time ;)

Hi ladies,

Well today I am 12DPO and yesterday after some very different symptoms than "normal" I had this real gut instinct that I am up the duff!! My BBs have been on fire!! Anyway I told myself to wait to test until Thursday as that will be 14DPO and more likely to give me an accurate result.

So anyway, curiosity got the better of me a yesterday morning I tested........................well low and behold 11DPO there it was a very faint, but definite second line a :bfp:
I showed DH who was happy but I told him I still had a couple of days until I would be 14 DPO. He has told me he is happy but not getting too excited until we get a darker second line!! He wants me to test again on Friday and then he said he will let himself be excited!

So there it is, I am pretty sure I am pg. I can't believe it (yet since Friday I have had no doubt in my mind - I have had this "feeling" since then that something was different). But again I am like DH, I will wait until Friday to be excited. But I am pretty sure.

Anyway best be off to work, just thought I would give you girls an update. Will let you know Friday if its for real!!

Polly :D

Hello everyone,

My name is Angela and I am a registered nurse and pharmaceutical sales representative from Ohio. Sadly, my husband and I loss our baby daughter (Ashley) last Thursday. I was 20 weeks pregnant. And, I have been desperately been looking for a new site to join where everyone can understand my experiences. This is my third pregnancy, with our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage (natural), the second pregnancy ended in an ectopic pregnancy (natural), and our third pregnancy (IVF pregnancy) with twins started to go wrong with the Vanishing Twin Syndrome at 6 weeks and a stillbirth at 20 weeks.

I just can't believe this has happened to us once again. And you won't believe this, we lost our last baby on the same day 3 years ago and our first pregnancy in late February! My husband and I are trying to pick up the pieces from our broken dreams once again. I can't believe I had to deliver her and say good-bye. I am so happy that I was able to hold her and take pictures of her to always remember her.

I really wanted to join this group so I can get some advice on how I can pick up the pieces and go on with my life. My husband and I have talked about going through another IVF cycle in a few months. I am not scared of going through the horrible injections and treatments but I am truly scared of loosing another baby. I have noticed that some of you ladies are currently pregnant after your losses; how did you get the courage to go through it once again? I have had to pick the pieces up before after a loss but this one really took us by surprise. We thought once we reached our 12th week mark that we finally made it.

Any help from you brave ladies would be like heaven right now.

Angela

1 miscarriage in 2002
1 ectopic pregnancy in 2006
1 stillbirth 2/2009 (Ashley Nicole Thomas)

:hug: an early congrats :pray: I hope and pray that you are UTD I am so excited for you Polly.

Jen - OMG yeah, I live in a rural area having moved from the city and BB is pretty much my social network coz I barely know anyone out here. Sad really :lol: I have no life :lol:

boble - I am so sorry for your friend it would be such a difficult decision to terminate. I am so glad you were strong enough to see your friends baby though, what a lovely moment for you and your healing.

Mel - thats interesting - tell me - had you had ultrasounds or anything to see if everything was alright? I always get told everything looks ok with my ovaries and tubes when I have an u/s just wondering if blockages could be detected like that - or missed.

babymiricles - wonderful news hun :clap:

Nae x

Ashley's Mom-- :welcome: I'm devastated for you over the loss of little Ashley! :comfort: It's so hard picking up the pieces, and some days are certainly better than others. You've come to the right place for encouragement and support--the girls here are the absolute best at understanding and giving advice! When to TTC again is such a personal decision... I chose not to wait... of course, here I am... still waiting almost 1 year later! However, others have fallen pg right away and gone on to have healthy, successful pgcy's. Each journey is different... the paths we take unknown. We just have to support each other and cheer each other on no matter where the journey takes us! In a world full of people that can never understand, you've found a small little haven where everyone understands, so, please, feel free to unleash.... cry, yell, scream, vent, ask questions (none are dumb!).... :hug: Thanks for sharing your story with us, I look forward to getting to know you on your TTC journey!



Mel--Ooh, I feel special, I got a morning post! :hug: Thanks for getting back so quickly! :tmi: again, but I've also have some clotting since my m/c--not every cycle--but a couple cycle's were really bad, with huge clots--which is definitely unusual for me! It's the tissue, however, that's really tripping me out, as I've only seen that during m/c. Hopefully my dr. can give me some answers, as I'm pretty sure that my insurance won't cover a infertility spec. Will let you know how that goes, but it's still a couple weeks away. Thanks again for the info!



Polly--Sending you some :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy: to get you thru til Friday! Quiet Congrats until then!



NaeNae--I didn't think there was life outside of BB! :rofl:

My heart goes out to you Ashleys Mum...I am so so sorry for your loss....I lost my baby last Thursday at 11wks5days ( I was 12 wks 1 day and had the same feelings...past the 12wks everything will be fine.

I cannot give advice on picking up the pieces as I myself am still struggling with just normal day to day functioning.
My doctor told me that there is no reason to be worried about not going on to have a successful pregnancy ...but I am like you and have no idea on how to find that strength just at the moment.

My best advice would be what everyone else is telling me and that is give yourself some time to heal emotionally and physically then make your decision. Also make sure your DH is 100% ready as well. You will both know when you are ready.

I have difficult days like yesterday...I just wanted my period to come so I could start that good old chart plotting but then today just getting out of bed and the kids to scholl was a struggle!!.

I must admit that since being on this site and seeing poeple be able to go on and have have successful pregnancies has given me hope.

There are a lot of great ladies ( and men) on this site that have great shouldes to cry on and laughter to share.

Take care......


AFM. I am going to buy a pendant / charm for my bracelet over the weekend ( I think i might be able to face the public and not cry by then) as a commemoration of our beautiful Jelly Bean.

Em

Jen - Can't say I ever saw tissue but I did have some big clots sorry if :tmi: which I had never had during AF before. Not sure how your HI works over in the US (sounds hard to me!) but hopefully your DR can do something. I know my GP didn't have much of an idea so he referred me to my specialist. Oh, and of course you are special ;) If I can help anyone else get some answers from what I have found out it would mean the world to me. I just want to help everyone on this thread get a big fat :bfp:!

Polly - How exciting! Very happy for you! Although I understand you not wanting to get too excited, a line is a line - no matter how faint!

Naenae - From what I have read and been told they cannot tell if your tubes are blocked by doing a scan. I have had scans since the m/c which showed my uterus was clear and that my ovaries were normal size and producing follicles. The only way to tell if your tubes are blocked is by inserting dye into your tubes and seeing if it flushes through. Apparently they do this when you have a D&C but I never had one which is why it was never discovered. Definitely worth getting checked out!

Ashley's mum - I really don't think I can add anything to Jen's post. I just want to say I am so sorry for the loss of your 3 angels :hug: You will find wonderful support on this thread so you have definitely come to the right place. Our m/c was 15 months ago and I know that I will still be so scared (as well as excited) when we fall pregnant again but reading the stories on here inspire me and give me hope. So many of our BB friends have gone onto to have successful pregnancies and gorgeous healthy babies! I am thinking of you and your DH and hope you are holding your forever baby soon. :hug:

mrzbaby - The pendant sounds like a wonderful idea :hug:

boble - I'm so sorry about your friend. It can't be an easy decision to terminate. But good on you for visiting your other friend her newborn son. I've found cuddles with my friends' babies to be very healing.:hug:

jackjack - I agree with Mel about going to your doctor. Listen to your instincts hun. If something doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. Tests might be expensive now, but they could also save a lot of heartache later on. :hug:

Mel - I hope your headache is better today.

jen - I have a psych appt on Monday and then a GP appt next Thursday, so I still have time to do my "homework". I keep coming up with reasons not to do things for myself. I think I'm realising how little I like myself. On the other hand, I did get quite a pampering from DH last night ;) (IYKWIM). Does that count?

Polly - Sending loads of :stickyvibesboy: :stickyvibesgirl: to help get you to Friday. A cautious Congratulations in the meantime.

Angela - I'm so sorry for your losses.:hug: I don't know what to tell you. I don't think the fear of losing another baby will ever go away. I guess when the time comes, you'll just have to decide whether the fear outweighs the alternative. But allow yourself time. For me, after my m/c, I didn't (well, tried not to) let myself think about trying again until AF came back. And right now, I try not to think about how I'm going to cope with pregnancy. I find looking too far into the future too daunting right now. I'm just taking one step at a time. This might not be the best way, but it works for me and I just wanted to share my experience with you. I wish you all the best whatever you decide and whenever you decide it. Just allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve. You have found a wonderful group of women who get it and will support you.

Em - A charm sounds like a beautiful way to remember your Jelly Bean. :hug:

I was very naughty this morning.. only 10dpo and I couldn't help myself... I did a hpt.. but unfortunately it came back neg. I am not surprised as my spotting has been getting heavier over the last couple of days and it is probably a good thing as early spotting/bleeding for me always ends up bad so i guess it is for the best.
I am actually scared of af coming though. I have read a lot of women suffer very painful AF the first one after m/c and I was hoping to avoid that by getting a nice and early bfp. :( oh well... guess I will just have to wait it out. I am sure it should arrive on or around Saturday.
It was nice seeing my friend and her baby and having a cuddle.. I had to work myself up to it a bit and we didn't stay long and i had to really really make sure I didn't think too much into it iykwim. It was very good though... and I am glad i did visit. back in July just after the 2nd m/c a friend had a baby and i just couldn't go and visit.. so i think I am getting there.

Ashleys mum - im so sorry to hear of the loss of your gorgeous little girl. You have been through so much! It is hard to know when it is right to ttc again and it is such a personal thing. we decided to try again straight away... even though we have had 2 m/c's in 6 months - our desire for a baby is stronger then our fears of m/c
welcome and I hope you find comfort and support here. I have only been a part of this forum a few weeks and I have found it soooo helpful and supportive! I look forward to being part of your ttc journey and I wish you a speedy bfp to your forever baby!

Polly! congrats (quietly) on your bfp.. but Mel is right.. a line is a line. so I am secretly very excited for you ;)

Em - a pendant to remember your baby is such a great idea! I think it is a lovely way to remember your little angel baby

Jackjack - i know exactly what you mean about thinking I should be up to week x or trimester x... that has been the hardest thing for me with both my recent m/c's as I have/had friends who were/are preg around the same time. with the m/c in july a friend was 1 week behind me... and she just had her baby.. and with the most recent m/c I have a friend who is 3 weeks ahead of me.. she has just started feeling baby move over the last 2 weeks or so and although I am excited for her... i secretly wish I was experiencing the same thing.

Hi there to everyone I have missed... its a little past my 9yo's bedtime and he is waiting patiently for me to tuck him in :) cheeky monkey :)

Ok Ok I know this is a little premature but I was just feeling a little hopeful and thought i might ask when does your AF come after a M/C?

I had very little loss after the D&C...Pretty much gone within 24hrs.

A friend told me 28days from that date but she has never M/C ( i just dont't know if she was 100% sure or was just trying to say something to reassure me)

I had the Hospital midwife ring me today telling me that they have not got the pathology results back from the D&C....Unbeknowns to DH and I that they did tests and sent tests away... I didn't sign for anything....Is this normal????

Apparently The results will be back on Friday and she is going to ring with them...I just don't know if i am strong enough at the moment to deal with that as I feel today was my most strongest day and I don't want to end up back in a mess ( I have no more sick days left from the Morning sickness then M/C)

The way that i am feeling........mmmmmmm.... to be honest i sort of feel a bit surreal... like it is just a bad dream..... but then i feel like was I actually pregnant.....Is this normal did anyone else feel like this???


Anyhow thanks for listening.

It has been especially hard for me as only the Doctors and DH and BF knew I was UTD we were planning on telling everyone on valentines day about our bub thankfully on onehand we didn't get the opportunity as the scan was orignally booked for the 16th but I chaged it to the 12th...... I feel quite on my own with this and if you want me to stop going on about it I will but I only have my BB ladies to go through this with...
Thanks again....Em