thread: Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage/Loss July/August 2009

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Registered User

    May 2009
    Boondocks Qld
    327

    RB kicking in tonight...feeling miserable and sorry for myself even while knowing that I don't have the time/money etc to be preg now...between work and trying to get my business going it feels like I never stop and I'm having a whinge because I am tired, and basically because i can and i know you guys listen and usually understand.
    It feels unfair to have gone through 4 m/c, lose 5 angels and just be in limbo if it can ever happen and wondering when I am supposed to have time to bd to even try.

    Fingers crossed each of us has a great weekend,,,I'm looking at what i can do to make it feel better and will do a happy post another time

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    Camperdown
    421

    Evening all, hope everyone is having a good week.
    I am finally using a computer instead of my phone and it is so much easier, still not my laptop as its still getting fixed but have borrowed a friends. Have also finally added my ticker but its not quite right. Dont like the black background but it wouldnt let me change it and also it says 7 or 8 days till ovulation(cant remember exactly) but by my calculations it should only be about 3 so who knows. Anyway its there so thats the main thing.
    Tina no good to hear that RB is kicking in, its a horrible thing and wish it would just go away and leave us alone to have our sticky little bundles. Also i know what you mean about the whole money thing. DB always says to me can we afford to start a family now and i just say to him it will be fine and we will manage, if its what you really want i think you will manage no matter what
    Anilla how annoying about the doctor telling you theres nothing they can do and to just go home and wait. Drs can be so insensitive sometimes especially when they havent gone through it themselves. Hopefully things settle down for you and you get that long sort after BFP very soon.
    zstar glad to hear everything is going well and good luck with the scan. Make sure you keep us updated on how things are going coz its so lovely to hear
    kyra hope the cold goes away soon and you start to feel better so you can start feeling sexy and get to bd with dh just around o time
    coco hope dh is not too upset with your comments, but you may be right maybe now he will know how you feel each month getting a bfn, but hopefully the next one is a BFP. Also good to hear that af is no longer painful for you, i was the same with my last one, had no pain and didnt even feel like i had af, very odd but great
    Cherished good luck with the accupuncture on monday hopefully it helps to get everything back on track and you fall pg very soon
    Ferals at your comment about molesting dh. YOU GO GIRL!! Gotta make the most of every opportunity
    Sparkles isnt it just the best feeling getting your hair done, its unreal. Good luck on wednesday getting the all clear to start BD'ing again, god knows thats what we all need
    to everyone else i may have missed and i hope you are having a good day
    Talk to you all soon

  3. #3
    Registered User

    May 2009
    Boondocks Qld
    327

    Just updated my ticker to cheer me up - it worked swapped from photo of me and my (nearly) 8yr old boy to me and my 'little' car

    EliseL: - must be something with lilypie because mine is stuck on black as well.

    I won't be on much over the weekend so will have a massive post next Monday to say hi and do persies unless I can sneak on during the weekend. Hope you all have a great weekend.

    Thank you all so much for your thoughts. I've haven't done the 'try' thing properly and decided this is my month. I'm driving out home each 2nd day to molest my man...I am sure he will be devastated and will probably need counselling! Just taking a page out of your book Ferrals!
    G size boobies? I don't think I could stand upright...my itty bitty b's suit me he he
    Anila, should you maybe look at another doc? we know our bodies better than them
    he he...noticed I started doing persies ...I'm addicted to this place now

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    qld
    2,661

    Anilla how annoying about the doctor telling you theres nothing they can do and to just go home and wait. Drs can be so insensitive sometimes especially when they havent gone through it themselves. Hopefully things settle down for you and you get that long sort after BFP very soon.
    Thank you so much hun, it was like he dismissed every suggestion i had and said u have no problems with fertility u have kids already.
    Well i have never had spotting mid cycles before so something has changed.
    So i will opk this month nad see if i am oing.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Melbourne
    423

    Josh's Mum - That's fantastic news! I am really pleased for you.

    AFM It looks as this is not going to be our month. I had high hopes because I ovulated early this time and late ovulation had been the problem before my miscarriage. Today I have had terrible period like cramps so I would say not only that AF is one the way but it will be here very early. My cycle is still up the creek.
    Last edited by India's Mum; August 11th, 2009 at 10:02 PM.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    35

    Hello ladies. I hope you are all doing well! I have had a tough day. I finally started to miscarry last night, about 4 and a half weeks after my angel passed away. I was bleeding very heavily, passing a lot of tissue and clots, and had such bad cramping that I could barely move. I started feeling light headed and thought I had a fever, so DH and I went to the ER to make sure everything was alright. About 20 minutes after we got there, I passed the placenta. I was devastated because I had wanted to keep it to bury it and had been waiting about 5 hours for it to pass, and it didn't happen until I arrived at the hospital and I just didn't know what to do. I feel so so guilty about it. I tried to deal with the emotional pain of it the best I could, and I figured the worst of the physical pain was probably over, but we ended up being there for over three hours. The ultrasound showed that everything had passed. I'm thankful for that because I really did not want a D&C. The fact that I am incredibly sleep deprived isn't helping me cope with the situation though. I miss my angel so very much. My OB said we could start trying again right away if we want to. That's what we plan to do, because the thought of getting pregnant again is the only thing that gets me through each day. I'm just terrified now that I have had two. After my first m/c, I was convinced it would never happen again, and once I got pregnant again, everything would be fine. I'm going to see my OB again early next week to find out when we can start getting some testing. She said there was nothing they could do until after the miscarriage was complete. We'll see what happens I guess.

    Sorry for venting ladies. I just needed to let out all my feelings. I feel like the healing can finally begin now that the process is over. Hopefully the bleeding won't last too long and my hcg levels return to zero. Well, I hope you all are well. Have a lovely day!

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Add Sunbeam on Facebook

    May 2009
    Gold Coast
    689

    Hello Ladies,

    Haven't had the chance to post for ages it feels.

    Josh'smum- SOOOO HAPPY for you see I knew it, glad you listened to me and tested. Wishing you truck loads of Keep us updated.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    Melbourne
    61

    hello ladies,

    So it has been a couple of days since my last post, but I have definitely been reading (I think I am a little addicted to this forum thing now).

    Sunbeam: Thanks hun for forcing me to test earlier than I was planning.

    Anila: I would definitely find another Dr- he sounds like a bit of an idiot, being so dismissive of something that is so important to you. There is no harm in having some non-invasise tests done. Maybe some bt to check hormone levels and a pelvic US or something- at least then you know exactly what you are dealing with.

    Kyrawolfe: Your time will come again, every pregnancy is different (so I keep being told) but while you are waiting for your next bfp enjoy every minute with your gorgeous little man. What does EB stand for?

    JulesWA: with my D&C it just seemed to reset my cycle. I had some bleeding for 5 days or so after the D&C, then nothing for 5 weeks. Then it appeared that AF started again from there.

    Ferals: Hopefully everything will work out for the best. Is there any testing they can do if you do get pg on your own to ease your mind?

    Hannah: Prior to my D&C I started to bleed quite heavily (I think I did most of the work for the ob before my D&C), it was so painful I had fever and was vomitting from it. For me I still felt pregnant until my first AF after the D&C. My thoughts are with you. They (Dr's) do tell you that you are generally most fertile the first 3 months after a D&C.

    EliseLouise: What posi do you play in nettie? I am a little bit of a fan of the game and play 3 times a week. The season for us is over now for a couple more weeks and I am trying to figure out how to get out of playing next season. I don't think it is worth the risk this time around. Although with my 1st pg I played until 14 weeks and that was fine. Was playing up until my mc last time, but my club knew I was pg- made it a little uncomfortable. Hoping not to tell people to early this time.

    Tina: Seems as though things can only get better for you. Best of luck with your lingerie party, hope its awesome and you get loads of sales.

    Coco: I think it is fine to be optimistic. You had a problem, they found it and fixed it. There is no reason for you not to get a BFP very soon.

    Cherished: Good luck for your test results! Glad to hear that things are on the improve.

    CatKat: Any news?

    AFM: Feeling ok, very nervous. My boobs are massive, lower back is sore and I stilll feel a bit premenstrual, all of which is normal but still very concerning. Went to my chinese dr on Friday, she was great. Is going to see me every 10 days of so for acupuncture etc. Until my 1st trimester is up, I can see that it will take ages for these next 9 weeks to pass. Seeing my Dr on Monday, to get referral for my ob. I don't think that she is going to believe it either. I treated a pg friend to day spa yesterday, it was gorgeous, although they advised me not to get the massage that I had booked in for because of the risk in the 1st trimester, so she got a massage and I had to get a pedi. We then went to the movies- Gold Class to see My Sisters Keeper. I cried from start to finish. Beautiful day, but now I have all my Friday housework to catch up on today. DH has decided he would like a roast for dinner so I guess I better get started.

    Thanks all for your well wishes, hello to anyone I might have missed in my persies.
    Last edited by josh'smum; August 1st, 2009 at 05:51 PM. : didn't realise ticker was on!

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    Camperdown
    421

    Joshsmum i play mainly GK sometimes GD & WD but GK is what i have always played. I know what you mean about being addicted. In previous years i have played saturday comp plus played a couple of nights a week and training through the week but this year it has been a bit hard with work ( i do shift work) so ive just stuck to saturday comp and ive loved it (think it helps that we have only lost 2 games all year and are 2 games clear on top of the ladder so thats very exciting)
    I to was playing when i had the mc and even though my doc said its fine too play up to 12 weeks i always wonder whether if i hadnt of been playing it might not of happened, but who knows. Hopefully i will already be pg by the time next season starts and then i will have a reason to not start the season at all and ill just be there cheer squad
    I noticed you said about the massage and how it is a risk in the first trimester, i never knew that but its handy to know coz i quite often treat myself to a lovely massage
    Anyway better get going and get ready to go out for tea with the inlaws. Good luck with everything and enjoy every precious moment (even the dreaded morning sickness) Make sure you still pop in and let us know how everything is going coz its great to hear the progress and gives us all hope.
    Oh and by the way i love your ticker, sooo cute

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    Melbourne
    61

    Eliselouise: I also play in circle defence, although it depends on what competition I am playing in. I have been playing Monday, Tuesday and Thursdays in Melbourne at the State Netball and Hockey Centre. Sometimes on a thursday night I will play WA or C as well as WD, but usually I am a GK or GD, we have alot of defenders in our team and the competition on a Thursday isn't as strong as the other nights. We didn't make finals on a Monday and Thursday so that season is over until August. I don't know what I am going to tell the club as I don't think I should really be playing and not ready to share my news.

    Where do you live? Is it country Vic? Who do you play with? (20 questions I know) I grew up playing in the footy/netball comps on a Saturday I loved it. Unfortunately they don't have anything like that here in Melbourne. There is talk of us moving to Geelong, so perhaps if I am not too old (and hung up my ankle braces) I might join a club. It was hard returning to playing after DS so if all goes well this time I might not return. I never used to get exhausted playing but it takes a while to get your nettie fitness back.

    Anyway, heres hoping that you are able to give the nettie away soon (you know what I mean). Enjoy your dinner with the inlaws.

    Rest assured I will be lurking as I am not comfortable about leaving you all just yet.

    Cheers

    Me 32 DH 38
    DS 5/1/2007
    December 2008 (13 weeks)
    Oh! and the pooch (nearly 7 years)

    PS- thanks for the ticker comment I didn't realise that it was on. It was requested that they are turned off on this thread. I have removed it now.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Aug 2009
    7

    Hi everyone
    I hope it's ok that I join all you lovely ladies and post here, I won't make this too long (hopefully!) but I hope I can share my story and get and give support here...I've been reading back through this forum and from what I've read, it looks AWESOME. So much love and support.
    My DH and I were married in February this year and expecting our first bundle of joy in October. The first 12 weeks were rough but our baby was tough and a fighter. After the 12 week mark everything seemed to settle down and each day we fell more and more in love with our darling Spud and thought the worst was behind us. We had our 19/20 week scan on the Thursday and found out we were having a boy, although the sonographer was concerned about my cervix and suspected that I had an incompetant cervix and an appointment was made to discuss getting a stitch put in the following Tuesday. But we didn't ever get to the appointment, my waters broke at home on the Saturday night, the doctor up at the hospital wanted to induce me and give me an epidural so 'I didn't have to feel anything' which sounded great at the time but I'm glad now it didn't happen that way. A midwife checked me the next morning and because there hadn't been any further fluid loss and our baby boy still had a heart beat, there was a small glimmer of hope and I was sent home. However, by about 9pm that night I was EXTREMELY sick and feverish and managed to get some sleep, but woke up at 12.30am with contractions and our son was born naturally at 1.25am on the 8th of June. We take comfort in the fact that even though Brock had a heart beat in the morning, we believe he passed away before he was born and didn't suffer, a bitter sweet blessing I guess.
    My husband was literally my saviour, he somehow managed to keep himself together enough to deliver our son, cut the cord, and then have the heartbreaking job of cleaning him, making him comfortable and driving me up to the hospital where I passed the placenta naturally at about 5.30am.
    Thankfully I didn't have to have a D&C and I bled/spotted for 6 weeks after the miscarriage. I had an appointment with an obstetrician 2 weeks ago who said that everything with me was fine but he couldn't give us a reason as to why our son hadn't made it, but that it wasn't my fault. AF arrived this morning, I never thought I'd be happy to see it!!
    We've decided to start trying again as soon as humanly possible, not because we want to replace our Brockie (that will never happen, he is always going to be our first born son) but because we want to have a family. The last 9 weeks have been the hardest we have both ever gone through. DH is coping ok, in a typical male way I think, I heard a great saying, men sigh and women cry. I have good days and bad days. The closer it gets to the due date the harder it is, we see babies and pregnant women and people who are due around the same time as me and its like a huge knife has been rammed into our chests and twisted around. I just want to know when the hurting will stop, why did God decide that OUR baby was better off with Him than with us??? We would give EVERYTHING to have Brock back, losing a baby is the MOST unfair and hardest thing that anyone could go through and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I am so so sorry that everyone here has gone through the same thing. It just shouldn't happen.
    Thank you for letting me vent, I look forward to sharing this journey with you all, hopefully it'll be a relatively short journey, not just for me, but for all of you.
    Natt XO

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    Denmark
    21

    Hello Loviees
    How is every one doing?

    I already have broken our fragile hearts by testing. DH was so inquisitive.
    Because the 1st time we tried for a baby, it exactly happened like it was a fairytale.

    We started on 8th july and i had some symptoms really but on 30th july we tasted and it was -ve

    But still feeling niggles so this time we will push it to 20th August. Having my toes and fingers crossed

  13. #13
    Registered User

    May 2009
    SEQLD
    2,308

    Ok so I fell off the face of the forums again...

    Well my TWW is up tomorrow (AF is due) but on saturday my SIL lost her 12 hour old baby boy, born on his due date...its soooo sad....really kinda hoping I get a BFN tomorrow.....I really wouldn't want to do this to her

    Anyway good luck to all those trying and grats to anyone with a BFP (havent had time to read through) I think I'll be taking a little break.

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Jun 2008
    Cardiff Heights
    856

    I am watching Knocked Up...it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO not how things happen!!

    I also have been sitting on the loungeroom floor folding 2 garbage bags of newborn clothes into a vaccum bag.... It was...bittersweet. No tears, but DH came and gave me a big hug and massive smoochy kiss...
    then he said he likes the baby rocker I bought (for those who missed that, I bought a rocker for $15 from a garage sale, and a 3 wheel jogging pram at the same place for $10), I said I felt silly about buying it now and he said "why? we'll be pregnant soon!"

    So sweet....I have had a yukky day after my mother was in contact earlier so him being that way towards me and indulging me in my baby fantasies really helped me feel a little better...

    Now Im on the lounge with Coco (our ragdoll cat) on my arm/lap and just laughing at this movie It's so real but so fake haha I love it!

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    188

    *waves*

    Ok i havnt been on here in ages!

    Hi nat Sorry to meet you under such awful circumstances.. heres hopeing you will fall again soon and have a little brother or sister for ur lil angel to watch over, and that way he can make sure they get through happy and healthy..
    I feel for you and what you've been through.. No one deserves to lose a child.

    Hi to everyone else joining us (even tho im kinda sorta new myself haha)

    AFM-=- after i had my misscarriage last year i got an email a few days later from a gf in tazzy, telling me she was pregnant, and she was as far along as i was supposed to be too.. Well last week she had her healthy little boy, and sent me some pics of them all together.. I always thought when that happened i would be sad, but i wasnt, i thought he was adorable and that she looked like such a deserving mother.. It made me miss cub, and wish i could have him/her back, but it didnt give me any bad felings towards my gf, i was so hapy for her.. and her lil baby boy was just precious.


    Im bout a day or two of the big O so ive been pestering Hubs like a frenzied whore lately HAHAHA!! So hopeing this is our month so we can finealyy start to feel better about everything, and hopefully i can try to relax a bit and not stress to much about negative things,,

    Well good luck everyone and sending my love to you all..

    <3 Kyra

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Ouiinslano
    5,303

    toomnayshoes I am so sorry to her about your nephew. That is so very sad. Don't stress about getting a BFP - you don't have to tell her straight away. It will be bittersweet but a little bit beautiful.

    I watched Knocked Up when I was pregnant - SO stupid, but a little bit funny.

    lol at kyra the frenzied whore...