Hello ladies. I hope you are all doing well! I have had a tough day. I finally started to miscarry last night, about 4 and a half weeks after my angel passed away. I was bleeding very heavily, passing a lot of tissue and clots, and had such bad cramping that I could barely move. I started feeling light headed and thought I had a fever, so DH and I went to the ER to make sure everything was alright. About 20 minutes after we got there, I passed the placenta. I was devastated because I had wanted to keep it to bury it and had been waiting about 5 hours for it to pass, and it didn't happen until I arrived at the hospital and I just didn't know what to do. I feel so so guilty about it. I tried to deal with the emotional pain of it the best I could, and I figured the worst of the physical pain was probably over, but we ended up being there for over three hours. The ultrasound showed that everything had passed. I'm thankful for that because I really did not want a D&C. The fact that I am incredibly sleep deprived isn't helping me cope with the situation though. I miss my angel so very much. My OB said we could start trying again right away if we want to. That's what we plan to do, because the thought of getting pregnant again is the only thing that gets me through each day. I'm just terrified now that I have had two. After my first m/c, I was convinced it would never happen again, and once I got pregnant again, everything would be fine. I'm going to see my OB again early next week to find out when we can start getting some testing. She said there was nothing they could do until after the miscarriage was complete. We'll see what happens I guess.

Sorry for venting ladies. I just needed to let out all my feelings. I feel like the healing can finally begin now that the process is over. Hopefully the bleeding won't last too long and my hcg levels return to zero. Well, I hope you all are well. Have a lovely day!