Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss May 2010

Crafty - you are so right about the gloss being dulled, but still I am so privileged to be in the position I am, IYKWIM. Glad you got a load of goodies - very cool. Any keepers for the pool room? ( the guy from the movie the Castle who always put momentos that were keepers in his pool room, is the reference).

Just in case you are wondering, I have with some trepidation today finally changed my signature, but the change means I can't have my signature on when I post here. I feel a bit awkward actually, as if I am not acknowledging the Sprite, Ameila, Nicholas or Sophie anymore. I know that in my heart I am, I just thought it might be nice for me to also acknowledge where I am at the moment. Still, it's much harder than I thought it might be.

Hi girls

Just popping in very quickly to say hi! I had such a lovely break, was a very rude awakening when my alarm went off this morning! :doh:

So a HUGE cangrats to you Kit! I was so thrilled to hear your news! Wishing you the happiest and healthiest 9 mths of your life! Enjoy every inch of it gorgeous girl - please dont be a stranger xx

Millyd - my heart broke for you when i read about the loss of your little one. Please know that you are in my prayers at this tough time xx

I'll pop back in tomorrow and try and catch up on everyone else!

Love to ALL of you beautiful woman! I missed you!

AFM - O time is near! Bring on YAY FOR MAY!!!!!!! :dance:

Afternoon lovely women

Gemma - I'm sorry I missed your post. I don't know anything about Trisomy but sounds like you were faced with some difficult decisions and then to have lost your little one by 15 weeks is heartbreaking. I hope you are healing and finding a way back to TTC shows how strong you are and how much love you have to give. I hope you can get your BFP soon and have a happy and healthy pg.

T- hopes - go the O! Hope this is your month, you're always so positive and upbeat! Hope you had a great hol away.

Dory - so happy to read all is well with you. That's a big step, changing your signature, and you must have done it with a deep breath and a big affirmation. Good for you! Like you say, it doesn't mean you've forgotten your babies, they are still in your heart it's just you are conquering your fear and allowing yourself some space to really be where you are now - which is doing great with this pg! Wonderful news about the scan - hold on to those blissful thoughts whenever you feel the fear settling - they're yours to keep!

Crafty and Ferrals - are you both in the TWW now? Maybe you'll be our first Yah for May girls (and MurryCod too!)

MatthewsMum - hope that flu goes south quick smart and you can get to do your FET. When is AF due? Is it much longer to wait?

Bons - we've been missing you girl! Hope your computer is fixed soon so you can post us your BFP news!! :) well, let's hope that it's there hiding

Porsche - looks like we'll be Stim Cycle buddies! Yah - was sorry I couldn't join in with MurryCod this month so nice to know I'll have you for June (least I'm hoping that's when I'll be doing it :rolleyes:

Iona-Macca!! Is that a BFP coming your way?! Fingers crossed - sounds promising!!

More about me (sorry) - one of the things I hate about this is how inward looking I've become - it just takes up so much mental and emotional space TTC and has been going on for so long that I'm going a little bit nuts with it at the moment (hope you don't mind the me post). I had a really good counseling session today and have made the decision to quit my job til we do our next cycle. The traveling to and from Sydney is killing me and I've gone back to uni (in the vain hope that if IVF doesn't work I can do something meaningful with my life)(I know that sounds cynical but that's how it feels) and just don't feel like I can spend the time on it that I need to. So...going to break the news to DH when he gets home. We've talked about it before but this time I've decided. Something has to give and there's no point doing this strict diet if I'm running myself ragged for no good reason. We can manage on one wage, which is why we moved out of Sydney, so no point pushing on just now, need some time to rest physically and mentally. I'm sure he'll be happy when his wife stops crying and complaining all the time!:redface:

I always sign off then remember i've missed someone - sorry!

alice x

Loops!! This time it was you - have you tested yet?
Hi Kit!

Hi Ladies,

As promised, I managed to squeeze in a little bit of reading so I could see what you're all up to. Sorry if I miss a few, there's a lot of information to take in right now! Hopefully it won't be long until I'm into the swing of things.

KitFaerie- CONGRATULATIONS. Hoping everything goes smoothly for you, I have everything crossed. And I know I can't speak for everyone, but please don't leave. Maybe your BFP will rub off on some of us? lol

Loops- Test again! I have a feeling you just might be PG. Dying to know the results, if you do test. :)

Reet- I'm so so glad your puppy was found. Great news. It's always an awful feeling when one of your furbabies escapes. Mine was waiting for me at the front door after busting out of our yard and I still felt that panic, thinking of what could have happened.

Hi to Alice, Saffy, and Ionamacca, thanks for welcoming me.

AFM, (tmi warning would be appropriate right about now...) AF showed up this morning. Or rather while I was asleep. I hate when that happens. Except this time I was just excited because I can finally call it day 1 and start keeping an eye out for fertile signs. And when I said I didn't think I'd have much of a bleed.... boy, was I wrong or what?! (tmi again) There seems to be so much more than usual, and I am actually aware that AF is here for a change, rather than just feeling completely normal. (yes, I am one of those lucky ones who while on bcp barely notice their period.) That really blew me away though, as I'd only taken the first week of my pills. Don't know where all this blood is coming from. Let's hope it's a good sign that I am strong, and am capable of building a nice snuggly home in there for our baby to be FAST. I'm trying not to go too crazy over all this, because I know the odds of a BFP the first cycle off bcp is pretty low, but still. It's just nice to be trying. And for some reason, I just have 'that feeling' that it won't be long. Don't ask me why, I just feel that way. Could be wishful thinking, but bugger it..... I'm going to enjoy feeling good for a while. It's been so long since I felt this excited about anything.

Take care, everyone.

OMG, love the new BB!!!!, am a little lost but will get used to it!!!!

Reet, Oh I am so glad you have your Puppy back, I was so worried for you, my dogs are like my kids, if I lost one, I think I would need valium for a month to calm me down!

Alice, Good on you for looking after yourself, and taking some time out, I would love to do that X
Take all the time you need to rest physically and mentally, because next month will be hard work, and you need to think of 'you' now. XXX

Forshelby, Yay for cycle day1 !!!!! And please, keep the positive thinking going, it may rub off on a few of us here that need it!XXXXX Good luck babe, and nice to have you here for the journey ahead!XX

THopes my lovely!!!!! Welcome back you spoilt rotten girl!!!! Hope you had a great time away XX

Millyd, :hug:

Dory, about your Signature, well done honey, I'm proud of you XX

Craftymummy, I'm dying....seriouse am in so much pain right now..... Happy mother's day to you from me!! Since Iv'e decided your my cyber mummy now!!XXX

Matthew'smum, I have my fingers crossed for you for upcomming FET, and pray that you feel better soon X

Bons, hi hun....please do a teas for me!!! Please!!!!!

IonaMacca, oh please let it be implantation!!!!!
Am excited for you!!!

Atleast you girls here are keeping me buisy enough so I'm not thinking so darn much!!! I'm having a little trouble catching up and writing propper replies to everyone, I sort of feel exhausted, and when I go to type, I don't know what I wan't to say......crazy murraycod I am....just plain nutjob ATM, so sorry.

Gemma Darling, don't ever let anyone make you feel silly for wanting to try so soon, we all have wanted to fall PG again straight away. People who have not gone through what we have, just don't understand how we feel. There's no need to justify your feelings here babe, we all totally understand, and are here to support you 100%.
I am so sorry for your loss, it must be so hard for you, just remember not to put too much expectation on yourself, and fall back on us if need be XXX
Take care X


Well, girls thank you all so very much for thinking of me today, it's been a rough one to say the least.
Scan and bloods done.
The scan shows I have atleast 15follies on each ovary, ranging from 22mm-25mm, (no wonder I can't walk properly) and at least 20 other follies that range from 13-15mm.
Repromed in Adelaide don't do EPU on Wednesdays, so I have to wait till thursday to have EPU.
The nurses in Adelaide rang me the moment they received my scan results, to make sure I'm not in too much pain, they are worried, that the smaller follies will catch up to the big ones over the next 2 days, I won't be able to walk. I am waddling like a constipated duck with a fused spinal cord ATM, DH thinks it's funny, but I'm not laughing at all, it hurts too much!
I have been asked to drink atleast 3 litres of water a day from now untill a couple of weeks, to try hold of OHSS (over stimulation), but they told me that chances of having my Embryo transfer cancelled are very very low, If I keep up the water, and rest as much as possible.
So, protocall has it, that I have to have another Puregon inj tonight (FSH), because no theatre untill Thursday, so chances are that these follies are going to make me spontaneously combust.

Girls, sorry a lot about me tonight, i just feel like I need to let it out, am so uncomfortable and sore, DH is being a sweetheart, but he has no idea what pain I am in, he just giggles at me every time I try to move...Hmph.....

Oh murraycod, you poor thing with all those follies. Can't believe they are letting you go till thurs, you poor thing you will be in so much pain by then!! sending you heaps of xoxox and so glad that DH is looking after you

Thank you all for the warm welcome :D

OK let me try this, sorry in advance if I mess it up.

murraycod - WoW great scan results! Bugger about having to wait, I know how painful it is to have lots of follies. If you can't handle that much water per day try drinking a sports drink or 2 each day. I downed 2 poweraides a day from scan day to transfer day.

forshelby - Yay for day 1 May May be your Month :)

Alice - Best of luck with your Uni course and I hope that DH takes the news OK about quiting your Job.

AFM - Still waiting for AF to show herself, Yesterday was also a really hard day for me (some of my friends sent me Mothers Day Wishes, although it was nice of them to remember me I think it made it harder. I am feeling a lot better today and emailed all of my friends thanking them).

To Everyone Else, May May also be your month. OXO

Oh MurryCod you poor love - I have never had that many follies growing to that size and I know how much pain and discomfort I've had with half of that you poor thing I'm aching in sympathy with you just thinking about it! Are you staying in Adelaide or do you have to travel there with all those eggs busting to burst? Sounds like you are in with more than a fighting chance this month with that much action going on - hope you can down the water, it can be hard when you already feel so bloated but it's just constant sipping all day - don't go anywhere without that bottle in your hand! I hope you're not working while this is going on. I'm in shock - I didn't realise you could get so many follicles - even at 35 I only got about 8! Good luck to you lovely - hope you can find a comfy place to rest yourself and sorry you have to wait til Thursday so it's convenient for them - bloody doctors!! Love and hugs to you xx

Gem, that's so lovely of your friends to think of you on mothers day, even though it is terribly sad, at least they are acknowledging your pain and loss. I understand it would have been hard to reply on the day, glad you were feeling more up to it today.

Alice x

Hi everyone,

Just a quick post- long day at work. As you can see by my ticker I went directly to jail (AF), did not pass go (did not POAS) did not collect $200 (a BFP) :( (Ahhh, Monopoly humour! Yup, i'm scraping the bottom of the barrel to make light of this one!)

AF showed up on Saturday which makes it a 27 day cycle this month. Really not sure what's going on with me. I've had a 31 then a 28 now a 27 day cycle. I've never had such a short cycle as this one. Feeling worried again that something is wrong after my 3 d& c's. I'm just trying to decide whether to see my gyno this cycle or give it one more month. Scared if i do get pg and something is wrong (scar tissue) i'll just miscarry again anyway. But scared to go to the gyno in case he wants me to have invasive tests done to check out my concerns. (Feel like i was poked and prodded so much late last year i don't want any more). But how will i know if i don't get tested?!

You see Murray cod, there are other crazies out here too... Crazy possum lady is in da house too!

Ah well, enough about me. I want to send hugs to everyone (a very gentle one to you Murray cod cos you're sore). I'll be back tomorrow with more personals... xx

But just quickly, hi Gemma and So sorry about your little bub. I hope your next IVF goes well: i think it's common to want to try again straight away. It seems to be one thing that helps console us for our loss. I know that's all i wanted after my 12 wk miscarriage (though medical problems meant i couldn't try for a few months)

Iona - I have my fingers crossed.

Murray - I have never ever been so delighted with the news of someone elses pain. The number and sizes of your follies are awesome! Except for the fact you are in pain, I wold be dancing around. Good luck with the consumption of 3L of water.... you can do it.

Alice - I think giving up work now is a good thing. It's a big and brave decision to make, but I can only imagine just how much better and less tired you will feel. And thankyou for your kind and wise words. They really helped. I liked a word you used - affirmation.

Possum - interesting you should talk about decreasing cycle length, as if I look at the last 3 cycles, they decreased in length. But then if I go back and look at my cycle lengths over the past 4 years, I was surprised to see the length vary. It's one thing to look at each month or a couple, but 4 years worth was a real eye opener for me. I think my shortest ever was 14 days, but that followed some trauma and surgery, so that doesn't count in my mind. But what to do about you? Try to asses just how worried you are about it. If you are really worried, then make that appointment. If you think you can wait, then wait. Even if testing is recommended, it may not be able to be scheduled for a while or you might be able to delay it.

Mathew's Mum - I hope you are feeling better soon.... being sick is just a wee bit miserable, no matter how big a brave face we can put on. I used to be a person that would soldier on, but now, I give in and rest if I can. Hope you can get some rest to recuperate and get better real quick!

Crafty - I am so excited, I am now knitting! I started initially trying to knit a pattern but gave up for just knitting squares to practice. I think I have been going well and enjoying it. I have had some trouble knitting into the back of the stitch, but have looked in the book my mum gave me, and have worked out what I was doing wrong. So tomorrow I will try to remedy the problem. The fur babies of course are fascinated by the yarn ball and the slow moving knitting needles ( I am not up to the clickety clack of a fast knitter yet). After that I am going to do moss stitch. Anyway, it is a good feeling to be learning something and doing something. The other good thing is it keeps me in the one spot for hours without me realising it. Which is good for me at the moment.

Porche, Forshelby, Saffy, Ferals, Gem and anyone else I have missed ( beleive me its not intentional as I am working from memory at the mo) - thinking of you.

I am reading Lance Armstong's book - Every Second Counts - at the moment. I am really enjoying it. Pity the copy I have is borrowed else I would be highlighting lines from it almost every page. I am getting so much from it. I am finding there is a great deal of connection between some of his realisations after his cancer diagnosis, treatment and battle to survive, and in his life since, that resonate with my journey of grief. Although I still can't believe anyone can sit on a bike and ride about 100km per day for 3 weeks, including up the mountains of the alps like the do in the tour de france. it just really defies my comprehension. One day I rode with DH into his work, and my but was sore as soon as I sat on the bike and there was 10km's more to go! Arghh. Anyway, better try to go to sleep now. Sweet dreams.

Hi everyone!

Oof, so much going on!

Alice: I have a friend who's the vitamin chick in a pharmacy and she told me that Vitex takes 10 months to work properly, I went for Maca cos it takes about 3 days, and Maca's a food so it doesn't change hormome levels, just evens them out to where they should be (I think? Something like that!). And awesome decision on leaving work, your job is to concentrate on you at the moment, nothing is more important than that. Congrats on going back to uni too, what are you studying?

Murraycod: I'm with Dory, never been so happy to hear about a friend in pain! It will all be over on Thursday my love and then maybe you can walk again! Your doing so incredibly well, but I'm sorry it hurts :( Pretty soon you'll be in the TWW.....

Dory: Your ticker is amazing, I think it's important to acknowledge both sides of your journey, and the ticker does that :) Very proud of you!

Possum Magic: Oh darlin you sound so worried! I know cycles can be a bit messed up for a while, I don't think 27-31 days is a huge difference though? So even if something is not right, it might only be a little bit not right IYKWIM? Mine varied from 36-30 days.

Gem78: Sorry mothers day was hard, I'm glad your friends remembered you though :) Good luck for May!

Reet: So glad you got your furbaby back, phew!

Forshelby: I hope AF is giving you a super good clean out all in preparation for a snuggly little bean :)

T-hopes: Hey sweetie :)

Crafty: Oooh, TWW! Go girl!

Ciara.e: So good to have you back, you sound much happier which is lovely, now, lets get your butt out of here as quick as we can :)

Iona Macca: OMG fingers crossed for implantation! Eee!

Bons: Have you tested yet???

MAtthewsMum: Hope your feeling better and the flu doesn't knock you around too much! Hugs darlin xo

AFM: Well doc's appt booked for Thursday, gonna ask for beta's, progesterone and an ultrasound referral for 6 weeks. Nicknamed this one Tiger, cos it needs to be super duper strong! Still struggling with a fair bit of fear, but pfft, what isn't scary about this whole thing? Told my parents and sister, but that's it, it's nice to have a happy secret. I feel quite different to how I felt with Splat, more conscious maybe? Maybe just more grateful. Will let you all know what the results are xo

Hi everyone,

I hope your all doing well. Lots of post t read. Hope all is great and this is your month.

Baby dust to all.

afternoon all ,craftymummy-fingers crossed for your tww...dory-brave step for you,your right all our babies deserve acknowledgement including your tummy bub....missk-nice to hear from you again,what are you up to in your cycle?..kitfaerie-good luck for thursday...gem-lovely gesture of your friends...possummagic-sorry af showed,maybe you could ask for the less invasive tests(or have you had them)..forshelby-always a chance...t-hopes-welcome home,missed seeing your name about the place...alice-af was due today,but have heard ivf meds can mess with it,maybe having this flu might be holding her off too(who knows)..murraycod-huge number of follies,i don't think you will be able to do anything, but rest.

Hi girls, must a really quick one from me, have to start packing for tomorrow.

Am heading off to Adelaide tomorrow, I have been booked in for theatre at 930am Thursday, so wish me luck!!!
Didn't have any problems with my blood levels, so having my Ovidrel trigger at 930 tonight, in a few minutes actually!!
So just wanted to pop by let you all know what's happening, and all excited, sore and won't be able to sleep a wink tonight!!

Love to you all, will let you know how many of these huge follies actually have healthy eggies in them when I return XXXXX:pray:

so excited for you too,can't wait to hear more good news from you

Very excited for you murray cod. I have everything crossed for you. Want to wish you luck if that's ok or should I stick to what they say in show business: break a l(egg)?!
Kitfaerie: hope all goes well with your appointment. Looking forward to hearing your results. Thanks for your advice.
Dory: you too, thanks for your wise words. Go the craftydory!
MathewsMum: feel better soon

Uh oh, have to go, things to do, be back for more another time.

Murraycod- Goodluck!! Hope you can walk without too much pain and I will be thinking of you 9.30 tomorrow, hope it goes perfectly for you xx
Hi everyone else, I have been very depressed today, think its bad pmt, so will come back when I feel better

MurryCod - very exciting!! You're a trooper - hope they are ace eggs and good luck with the pick up xxx
Kit - good luck Thursday - let us know how you go. I'm studying art, doing major in sculpture and ceramics. I love playing in the mud :)
MatthewsMum - hope she doesn't keep you waiting
Possum - you're too funny - break an l(egg)!
Missk- hi how are things with you??
Dory - me neither - I see people riding up the mountains from Penrith and I don't know how they do it - so steep. Sounds like an amazing book. I learned to crochet when I was holed up at home for months on end after my endometriosis operations. It is good for keeping you still that's for sure - I still do it, mostly making baby blankets for friends but I did pull off a few ponchos that I was rather proud of (kids size mostly, though I did do one for my friend and her little girl). I can't knit though - way too hard but have hopes to get try again one day.

Alice x

Saffy - we posted at the same time. You can be sad on here, we all have our down days and that's what this forum is for - lots of cyber hugs. Sorry you've been depressed - hope you're feeling like your old self again soon. Take care xx

*sneaks back in*
Hi Alice: I think you are very brave to do what's right for you. It can't have been easy making the decision about work but once you've done it I hope it feels good. Sorry Mother's day was hard. I hope next mother's day sees you with a bundle of your own.
Reet: wow: i'm the 20th too!
Saffy: I know what you mean about milestones. It's hard not to say in your head "by the time i'm 'X' years old this is where i want to be". I know that i had certain ideas about the ages by which I hoped to be married, have kids etc. Very upsetting when the body doesn't cooperate. I was thinking maybe I would stay my current age forever on Belly Belly at least. I wondered if that would make me feel better (in a jokey kind of way). I might leave the age on my signature the same even after my birthday! Want to join me? Hope you have a better day tomorrow and you get the chance to do something that helps lift your mood (eg chocolate, warm bath, furbaby cuddle etc) I myself have tried the white chocolate remedy tonight... oh and Belly belly and trashy tv!

Hi lovelies!
Should be back on computer soon, going insane without it!
Alice, very brave decision to quit your job, but so happy you are concerntrating on yourself and getting ready for next month! Xx
Murraycod, i cant imagine the pain you are in, but your follies sound huge! Good luck for tomorrow, less than 24hrs to go!
Gem, welcome, it sounds like yiu have been through a lot, i hope you find some comfort in being here, we are all a lil crazy though !xx
Crafty, kitf, mathewsmum, porsche, loops, possum,reet, saffy,iona, missk, t hopes, ttcalovechild, ferrals...big hugs to you all, i hope your bodies are being kind to you.

Afm, im not going to test til friday or saturday, not quiet feeling up to a bfn at the moment.....but not testing is turning me into a crazy woman! Xxx

Hi Ladies

Murraycod - All the best for your pick up FX.

Saffy - Hope you are feeling better.

Bons - Good luck for holding out on testing. I'm absolutely hopeless. I start testing at 9DPO lol. I've stocked up on HPT's I have about 14 atm with more on the way. Nutter much nah!

AFM I'm 7DPO today and I've been having cramps since yesterday. I had theses types of cramps when we got our BFP and on the same DPO. Coincedence? Who knows. I did a HPT on Monday to make sure there was no HCG left from the M/C and it was a BFN. So that is great. If and when I get my 2 lines I'll know it is correct.

Hey ladies wanted to let you know im still around.. Got my Doc appt on the 14th im excited to know what she has to say.. We know were out for this month but we will be ready for next month..
Miss YOU all and chatting with you guys..
The kids are doing great...
we have been having my cousins lil girl here over the weekend she is only 3 months adorable lil girl!
i have pic of Df and her and how he looks at her it melts my heart .,.I just hope its our month next month..

I will be back in here soon i hope.. i miss writing personals..

You all are being thought of each and everyday!!
Hang in there and best wishes to all!1

Hey lovies!!

Just popped in quickly to send lots of love to MurrayCod!! Im praying for you love!! :pray: Looking forward to hearing how it all goes!!!

xx

Alice - hah - I thought crochet was to hard for me, not that I have tried since I was 13! you had me ROTFL.

Kit - give my love to tummy tiger! I agree - more conscious is a good way to describe it. One day at a time.

Murray - I know you have problem left by now to go to Adelaide, but thinking of you! Hope you get to collect lots! You are the queen of collection!

Mathew's Mum - sincerely from the depths of my heart, thankyou for your supportive words. They mean a lot. :)

T-hopes - you've been quiet. All ok? Almost in the 2WW? Hoping you caught that eggie.

TTCALC - good to hear you are still busy. I miss you too, but I'll take what I can get of you at the mo. Friends don't keep a tally.

Ferals - how are those kitty kats going? Thinking of you girl. Am I having a Dory moment or are you just quiet for now? Big hugs.

Saffy Bons, Porsche ( I do hope those signs are positive for you) - thinking of you.

Hi everyone,
Havent been on, well i read but not reply lol coz i find it hard to keep up with you all.. hehe

Ive been ok. It has now been 3 months since i lost my son. :( I am finding it very hard and do alot of crying. I listen to his 2 songs all the time.

ATM - Im on CD31. AF came on the 16/3 and than the 12/4. So 27 day cycle. I should have got my AF on sunday 9th but i havent. I did a PG test today at the hospital and it came up negative :( Would af be that late? Its 3 days atm.
I have been watching my O and i O on the 18th day. Thats the day that i got a positive test.

Had a disappointing appointmnet today. Had to go to the hospital for my last check up. I was told last time that they would to a internal unltrasound but i got a different doctor today and it wasnt done. I left called my DH and he told me to go back so i did. I saw another doctor and she did the normal ultrasound. I normally praise them but today im disapointed. I was expecting to be checked properly and to know all is ok and thought they would tell me im pregnant too coz they would be able to see.

I hope your all doing well. I missed your advice.
I see people riding there bikes to from penrith to the mountains. Dont know how they do it!!

Miss K - sorry you are doing it tough at the moment, but if listening to your precious angel's song and crying helps you through, then do it. I did, and still do that. Not that I am an expert in this, but it might be too early just now even via internal ultra sound to detect a pregnancy and the best way might be blood tests or a very sensitive HPT. Do you know what the sensitivity of the test was? Even then it might be still too early. I got a few BFN's before the happy news. I have everything crossed for you!!

Good for you for going back! I am so proud of you! It takes a lot of courage. I am proud of your DH too for giving you the encouragement to go back.

I rekcon this is the fastest moving thread I am in!

Hi ladies

well Murraycod I know you probs won't be on the net while away in Adelaide but incase you have one of those fancy phones with internet access then I wish you well in your egg pick and hope its not too painful for you but they do say "No Pain, No Gain " so I hope its just a little crampy IYKWIM !!! Be thinking of you and my FX for you this month,
Dory yay for giving knitting a go its really very easy just needs practice and you'll be clik claking in no time ! If you need any advice ask away but there are plenty of sites out there to give you tips ! so glad you did your signature I just had a peep at it looks great ! on the way home now girl over half way !
Matthews mum hope AF don't mess about too much so you can get on with your next transfer !
Porsche one more week to go for you I am right behind you waiting for our BFPs !
MissK sorry your having a hard time but our bodies do take time to play the game again unfortunately we just have to wait for them to be ready even though it may take longer than we would like ! Try to think positive your body will soon get another BFP !
Bons you chicken just like me I hate seeing one line I figure no testing is better than 1 line too ! ( do let us know if you cave in though and test ! )
T-hopes Hi missed you in here glad you had a good trip and I see you not too far behind me again !
Alice crochet its beautiful I do some myself but mostly knitting and sewing quilts and kids clothes I have to do some thing to keep me sane in this mad house of mine I craft between 8pm and 11pm most nights and a few mins here and there in the day if my kids allow me to ! I find if I make things for them they let me get on with it !
I guess june is not that far away now for your ivf and I think its great your giving up your job and studying some more I have thought of going to Taffe or something too for my sewing as I did O'levels in needlework and love it may take a look at the courses give me something else to think about instead of TTC !
Everyone else hope your well and keeping busy and not stressing too much all those in the TWW with me its gonna be a long long few weeks I can feel it !

Hey again!

Dory - I know Ive really been MIA lately! Since we got back from our beautiful, relaxing holiday its been go go go!! We had such a lovely break but of course it didnt last long... on the way from home the airport last Saturday DH got a call from one of his mates to announce their preg! I sobbed uncontrollably all the way home! Could not believe it, couldnt even walk in my front door with out another UTD announcement! Still cant... and fear its just one of many to come in the months ahead! So yeah it stung pretty bad and have been laying low because of it i think, really took away the little wind i had left in my sails :cry: Thanks for asking after me love.... i hope you are travelling ok xx

possum - oh bother, sorry AF arrived for you love :doh: hugs to you xx

crafty - yep - we are close in cycles again!! Think i may o in the next 2 days! Looks like it will be early for once!! fingers crossed! Have u o'ed yet??

missK - sorry things arent good for you atm, thinking of you and sending strength your way xx

ciara - Hi gorgeous! I remember we used to chat a bit a few months back xx

bons/porsche - Good luck!!!

Reet! - Im so glad you found your dog! I was so so sad when i read your post, i was crying! I know how much my 2 dogs mean to me and i would have been a mess!!! So relieved!!

Alice - hi lovely, how are things with you??

Ferrals - understand what you mean by needing a break, thinking of you xx

I have missed so many of you I know... im 10 days behind so please forgive me if i have missed something important xx

AFM - Just waiting to O... bought some Pre-Seed this month... so much better than using the eggs! hehehe!!! Not as messy! Trying not to obsess on it all this month... trying to lose weight instead! I wanna lose 5kg!! I can't control whether or not i fall pregnant but i can control losing weight! And I am going to!!!

xx

Hi girls

thanks everyone for your support, I am crawling back out of the hole I fell in, almost there!
Luckily I had an appt with my counsellor today so could offload to her and get some strategies in place, I also told my mum what was happening and she is very supportive. Poor mum, having to look after her 37 yo daughter having a breakdown!

Craftymummy- good luck with your TWW, hope you have lots of crafts to keep you busy over the long weeks ahead!

MissK-I hope you are pregnant, the u/s would be too early at this stage so don't panic, theres still a chance!

Dory- nice to see you, hope you're feeling nice and happy after your ultrasound x

TTCALC- did you go to bingo??

Porsche-thank you, thank you x I really hope your symptoms are a pregnancy, it sounds really promising!!

Bons-I'm going to be strict with you-DO NOT test yet :) hold out as long as you can, wait for those two lines xx

Possummagic- Hey- good idea, I can eternally be 37, oh how I wish it was true- hehe! I won't tell anyone if you won't ;) I have spent the day looking after myself and it has made a difference, furbabies helping all they can too-meow. Trashy TV is my drug too.

Alice-thank you so much, seeing your post helped. Your plan to leave work sounds a good one, I have consciously dropped my work to 3 shifts a week, its much easier to manage, I hope you find more time to crochet! I can knit-scarves only LOL-I wish I was better, also crocheting sounds good too, I will get stuck into knitting again soon now its cold.

Iona- sounds promising to me!

Matthewsmum-are you feeling better? Did AF come?

Thinking of miss murraycod and her eggs, hope it has gone fabulously!

Kit, Gem, Reet, THopes, ciara, forshelby- hi lovelies

Just waiting for AF now, no chance of being preg so wish she would move it and get her "bloody" presence over and done with. Not taking clomid next month as side effects too much, esp this extreme PMT whichhas knocked me for six, so its ala naturale til IVF

T-Hopes- just overlapped your post- that is terrible, you can't even get home without hearing about another preg, I would have definately have reacted the same way xx

hey saffy - yeah was crappy to come home too! And I have to see her this weekend! :doh: She isnt a good friend of mine but her husband is a very good friend of mine! Sorry to hear that Clomid gave you a hard time, and that you feel AF is near! But so wonderful that you have very supportive mum that is there to catch you when you fall... i too am blessed with one of those, they are very special xx

Any word from the POAS-ers???? Wishing you lots of luck and :pink-babydust:

Murraycod - how did it all go! ! ! :pray:

crafty - can you beleive its 2ww time again!!! Where does the time go!!! Scary!

Kit - good luck with your bloods to today! keep us updated! xx
AFM - DH and I see our new FS next Wednesday which im really excited about and DH has his sperm test next friday! Got faintish 2nd line on OPK today and o pains so lots of b'dancing at our joint!!

Well I am officially cycling again!!! Day 1 today and I have just popped my first HRT Progynova. Scan day is set for my birthday 26th of May at 3pm. As my appointment is in Rockhampton ans I live in Gladstone, it's an hour trip up the highway, We will be making day of it ~ shopping, lunching and a uterine lining scan :dance:

Best of luck to all that are b'dancing, 2wwing, POASing, or just waiting. Sorry I really can't keep up with you all, but will try when my brain lets me.

T- Hopes - that just broke my heart.... wishing I could just ive you a big hug. In some ways, I think you should avoid her, but again in others I don't think you should. Why I am such a contradiction? I don't want you to put yourself in a place that will do you harm. If you don't think you can cope with seeing her than, please don't feel forced into it. One of the things I have learnt is that in my grieving, I need to put myself and my healing first and at times that will mean possibily alienating people. But at the same time, if you are feeling ok, I don't want you to cloister yourself away. Only you are going to be the judge of what you think you can manage. Honestly, promise me that if you don't think you can cope, then don't do it.

I remember in October last year, just 6 weeks after Sophie died I got an invitation to my nephew's partners baby shower, which would be about 8 weeks after Sophie. It absolutely crushed me, initially, to receive the invite, and I spent a lot of time crying. Crying for their good fortune and crying for my losses. Initially I pondered how cruel it was to be sent an invitation but then I was happy to have been included and that they were giving me the choice of whether to go or not, rather than making it for me, by not inviting me. In time I realised that I wanted to share this event with my nephew and decided I would go. I expected it to be hard, and it was. From packing the car with some of the baby stuff we had been given that I would loan to them, to actually driving there on my own ( it was about an hour away), to being in a crowd of strangers ( I knew his partner, and my nephew), to the usual tests for those of us who have lost. In the end personally I was glad I went, it helped me realise I was stronger than I thought. And it was the first and last time I saw my nephew's partner pregnant. (they annoucned their pregnancy not long after Amelia died, so most of my year was spent cloistered away from the world at large) she had an emergency ceasaran on the Tuesday following the baby shower and their little girl was born 5 weeks prem. So after conquering the baby shower, I felt ready to visit the hospital. That was hard and scary too, but I got to see my nephew just as proud as could be, and he was showing me around the special care nursery and absolutely doting on his girls. I was sad, so very sad of course, but just had such a sense of wonderment, when did that little boy who was my nephew was, turn into a man? I was so proud of him, and in the end, really happy to have shared those moments. But I was ready to. I also had a back up/escape plan worked out if I wasn't as ready as I thought.

Anyway, then I read your post about losts of bd'ing and it made my laugh. So I went from crying to laughing in such a short space of time. Even in your darker times, you still have the ability to make me laugh. That is a true gift.

Hope all goes well at the new FS... will dildo cam make a cameo appearance?

Murray - hope that collection went swimmingly....does that mean you can celebrate now with a glass of champers?

GEM - hoping you get a nice THICK lining as an extra special birthday pressie! It's not such a bad drive between Gladstone and Rocky. A day of shopping and lunching sounds perfect.

Saffy - hopes AF comes nice and quick. Bugger about clomid and the nasty side effects. I hate PMS when I don't feel like myself.

Morning all from a wet WA at long last we got some rain ! the garden is so releaved and we may get a green lawn soon !

T-hopes so sorry you had that call on your way home bit of a downer after such a lovely time away but hey that could be you very soon anouncing your own special news ! and if not then you at least get to see a new FS and get a plan in action on the way so its all good still if you can look at it differently after your initial despair ! I felt the same when my son announced their BFP but I had to be happy for them and pray they never get to feel this heartache !

Dory such a lovely post as usual your previous experiences have a way of making you think in a different way and I too will now think of my son and be pleased he is a man now with his own little person to take care of soon (mid oct is the due date ) I have a message from Ferrals she says to tell you she is fine she is in the TWW with me and has a new FS apt booked for the 28th so she will test the day before just to make sure, she is in the older women long term thread as I am too feels more comfortable at times when you have been on this road for 9mnths and remember just how many ladies have come and gone in that time !
Saffy so sorry clomid didn't suit you I remember being on it years ago and it didn't suit me either all those hot sweats and feeling so iritable and snappy ! Hope AF turns up soon and you can go natural into your BFP !
Well 11 days left for me just started to knit some baby clothes will either be for my new grandchild or myself if I get a BFP ! either way will keep me busy over the next 11 days or so !
This time last year I got my last AF before my BFP and life was so much more relaxed but since then much heartache has come and gone but without this forum and you ladies well I think my last 9mnths would have been just unbareable so thanks ladies for keeping me sane !

Murraycod how you doing did you get a dozen or a bakers dozen in your egg basket ? can't wait to hear your updates !

oh Dory - I hope you know and those around you know and appreciate what a true angel you are! Your words are magnificent! Thank you for that post - you are a gift to all of us!

Hi Ladies,

Apologies in advance for those I've missed... it's hard to keep up!!

Murraycod - I really feel for you. You must be very strong to put up with pain like that, and I'm hoping this is your month!

Alice - Great news! It's a tough decision you've made, but it sounds like it's right for you. Congrats on going to uni. What are you studying?

Gem - I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you find this place as theraputic as I do. It's really helped me through some of the worst days of my life. And that was without even posting. I would just read, and feel better knowing I was not alone. Don't feel bad about wanting to try again so soon, it was all I wanted to do when I mc, and we weren't even trying. We'd only been together 8 months. But it felt so right. I say do what is right for you. Be brave! I also hope your trip to Rocky goes well, and I can't wait to hear how your scan goes. Fingers crossed for an extra chunky lining. LOL

Dory - You wouldn't believe the strange looks I get when I confess that not only I can knit, but I enjoy it! Nobody knits these days, at least nobody I know anyway. Keep it up. I say if it keeps you sane, go for it. :)

Kit - Yes, it definitely seemed like a good cleanout. LOL.... more than I've seen for a long time. And it seemed to go on forever. Now that I count, it was only 3 days. And good luck with your appointment today. I'll be waiting by the keyboard for good news!

Thopes - It must have been so hard for you to hear that news. I can't say I've reacted any differently to other people's pg announcements during my grief. Don't beat yourself up about it if you can't handle seeing her. Just do what you feel is right, and don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings. If she gets upset about your avoidance, maybe you should explain it to her. No person in their right mind would be angry at you for protecting yourself from further upset. Be gentle with yourself.

AFM, AF is officially OVER! Hooray. Can't wait until cd12ish when I know the bd'ing really counts! For now, I told DH it's good practise. Come to think of it, I'd better go and break the good news to him that I'm no longer 'broken'. (That's what we call it when I have af... lol). He'll be thrilled, I'm sure. I hear the shower running. Might go and sneak in. Bwahahaha..... :)

T-hopes - sorry you got that call :( :( not fair on the end of your nice break away and you are completely right about our Dory - she is a gift to us, I agree

Dory - you are one strong, amazing woman and we are lucky to have you here with us

Crafty - get knitting! You'll need quite a few things for your new bub that is on it's way! Glad you got some rain finally - we've gone a while without some in the mountains too but we get our fair share over the year so can't complain.

MurryCod - thinking of you all day today and hoping your egg collection went OK (did you have a general?) and that they are all great quality eggs ready to grow into beautiful healthy embies for you to transfer.

MatthewsMum - hows the flu? Hope you're feeling better.

Gem - yes, shopping a grand idea when you are having these lovely tests. Glad to hear you excited and hope all goes smoothly for you.

Saffy - Sorry about the break down and clomid sounds bloody awful - hope you get lucky this month all on your own. Glad the counseling helped and if your Mum is anything like mine I'm sure she would do anything to see you happy and with your baby - we're lucky to have them aren't we? I'd be lost without my mum, she's a rock for me.

MissK - very brave to go back in - we are so vulnerable and it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself in a situation like that, I'm just sorry you couldn't get the scan you wanted. Would be lovely to hear of a BFP for you - fingers crossed.

Porsche - any more news on the cramps front? That's a bit tantelising...!!

Bons - hello getting close to test time! Let us know how you go! I'm a big chicken - have NEVER done one...can't bear the heartache of one line and never have the courage to face it...who knows, maybe you ladies will turn me :)

Possum - agghhh did you say white chocolate agggrrhhhhh stop torturing me!!! :)

Hi everyone :hello: sorry to have missed you and hope you are all going OK and catch up with you soon.

AFM well, was all geared up to resign (DH agrees) and...my boss is off sick with a hangover! So tomorrow I will hopefully have the conversation that I've been stewing over all week. I'm going to try to get them to agree to me working from home since all of it is online but if that fails, I'm out of there! Diet is going OK (getting used to it I guess - carry a little esky with me everywhere, such a dag) and temperature has started to go up, which is good. I soo want to start IVF in June - can't handle all this waiting!

Alice x

Helloo All,
Just pop-in to say BIG BIG HELLO to everyone !!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry, i suddendly went away, just wanted to unwind, relax and wanted to do things apart from TTC, no charting, no OPK,no 2WW, no stress...just fun time with other wonderful things i could do.

Hope I am not intruding after a long long time.

MurrayCod, Anita, T-hope, Ferrals, Crafty, Alice, Dory, Eliselouise, Mildz, Millyd, Possam Magic, Sunbeam, Matthew's Mum and everyone else.

hows is everyone

all the best to everyone in 2ww and those who are waiting to ovulate.

Missed u all

Love, Ric

Thank you everyone for asking about me, and thinking of me, I was tickled pink to read all of your messages, I love you all XX

What a day!!
I'm not going to do persies tonight as much as I would love too, but I am exhausted and still dopped up, so I will sit down tomorrow and catch up with everybody XX

WE GOT '27 'EGGS !!!!! OMG!!!!!
I can't beleive it, it's still sinking in, 27, thats totally unbeleivable, no wonder I was so uncomfortable. DH is treaing me like a princess, I think he realises now I was not just whinging all week for the hell of it.

More news girls, brace yourselves. Do you remember the Uterus Biopsy i requested....well my FS got the result back yesterday.
It came back POSITIVE with NKcells (natural killer cells). I can't beleive it. After all of this time TTC and this is what has been stoping anything surviving down there.
My FS said to me today, that when I requested for all of this tesing over the past month, he thaught I'd have more of a chance of winning lotto, than having NKcells in my uterus, he is in total shock too.

At the beginning of the month when I started all of the meds for this IVF cycle, he decided to treat me for NKcells before we got the results back (being treated for it, without having the NKcells doesn't hurt anything anyway) just to shut me up, so I am over the moon to know, that I am totally in with a chance this time.

Yes god help you all, I have my hopes up this time, more than I ever thaught I could.
Will find out tomorrow how many of the 27 eggs fertilised and survived the night, and ET will be monday.


I will catch up with everyone tomorrow I promise, I just have so much going through my mind ATM, I needed to type it out.

have a great night all, and again, thanks girls :grouphug: