Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss May/June 2010

[possum magic]

Hello girls,

Murray cod good to hear from you. I can understand why it's hard to post. I also am afraid to say the 'p' word out loud in case it goes away! I have just discovered the PM box so i'll give that a go too!
ForShelby: Very disappointed FOR you but NOT in you. Don't feel silly. All your symptoms were pointing to a BFP and as you say all hope is not lost until you ride the crimson wave (lol!) I know how it feels to want to get pg right away and to convince yourself that it will happen. After only a few months of trying for my first baby i jokingly told my DH that the whole idea that BD leads to babies must be a myth! Very frustrating the whole waiting thing.

THopes: so glad you posted. Was starting to worry about you. Happy birthday for the other day. I'm glad you got some answers and now that your system has been 'flushed' and freshened up it will produce a beautiful BFP in short order! THanks for the well wishes. I'm going to keep spying on you if that's ok. Can't wait for you to be UTD too!

Loops: Fingers crossed for your symptoms!
SammyP: praying hard for you that this one is the one for you.
Iona Macca: your symptoms sound promising. I'm hanging out to hear what happens.
Damprye: how terribly frustrating. Is a visit to the gyno in order? Or what about a HPT?
MsKara: good idea to get healthy to prepare for baby. Might help to distract you a bit until bubs shows up (hopefully very very soon). Hope you'll feel like quilting again soon.
Reet: hope you are ok

Craftymummy: Haven't heard from you in a while, but i know you're lurking elsewhere (cos i've been stalking a bit!) Just wanted to say hi!
Hello to others who have also jumped ship for other threads. We miss you!
Hello to anyone i missed.

AFM: I did another HPT yesterday morning (couldn't wait till today as originally intended!) A second line showed up again and was darker than the first time. Definitely BFP (though not really dark as the control line but i think that's ok). I tried to take a picture but it didn't come out well and I'm not sure how to post it. I've been freaking out because i had clear pg symptoms for a couple of days and now they are more mild- boobs feeling sore and full at times but pretty mild and feeling slightly 'off' in the middle of the night but not really during the day. Cramps have died down. Oh, though i'm having more dreams than usual (which i had with both of last two pgs). BUt i expected to feel more ill. I'm hoping that i'm just going to be lucky and the baby will be ok and that i'll just have an easier first trimester rather than the lack of symptoms meaning something bad. Anyway, nothing to do but wait and hope. Hugs to all.

[forshelby]

Look out, the thread hog is back again (me)

Loops - I am so flattered you read all my posts. It must've been a hefty task, lol... I'm quite the postaholic. It's nice to know there's someone else in a similar position as me, so I guess we can comiserate together. I hope you get your BFP this month, that would be just lovely. How long has your longest cycle been, out of curiosity?

Damprye - I don't think I'll need to do a test in another week, I feel like af is just about to enter the building, which sucks. I decided to give myself a makeover to cheer myself up today, and dyed my hair. It was no easy task.... elbow length hair is difficult to dye on your own! Needless to say, I have some strange looking marks on my arms, chest, well.. everywhere. LOL. Never fear though, toothpaste works wonders in removing dye from weird places. Even sinks etc. Write that one down, girls, that's my pearl of wisdom for the day. Oh, and I think maybe another HPT is in order for you, dear. You probably want to slap us all for saying it all the time, but really... Maybe it's worth a shot? Or I suppose you could stick to OPKs and if you don't get a surge, maybe something is up? Like a baby?

Possum - Your kind words touched me. It helps to hear you aren't disappointed in me, but for me instead. It really means a lot, cause man, I am disappointed in myself for believing it. I'm glad I didn't get myself too excited, but on the inside, I was really hopeful. Thanks for the chuckle, too... I'm starting to wonder if the BD= babies thing is a bit of a myth, too. I hope it doesn't take 8 months like last time. Though we weren't TTC then.... but still, 8 months unprotected. I'm really pleased your second line was darker this time, and try not to stress about mild symptoms. With any luck you'll be one of those women others envy for having a comfortable first trimester. I'll have a glass of wine in your honour too, when af shows properly.

Iona - Only a week to go... yay! I SO hope this is your month. Looks like I'll be stalking you bigtime. I wanted to return the favour, lol.

AFM, judging by the backpain I have right now, she's right on time. I guess that would put me on a 28 day cycle. I should be grateful for such a perfect number, really. *sigh* I also swear I saw a smudge of the palest pink when I went to the little girls room about an hour ago. Looks like I'll be surfing in no time *chuckle* and I'm getting in tune for June. With fabulous hair, of course. Feeling a bit better after a spruce up. Thanks again for all your support, girls. It sure made a lot of difference having you all to rant at.

And of course hello to anyone I may have missed.

[T-hopes]

hi girls!

possum!! So happy to hear that your 2nd line is darker today! FAB news my love!! You just try to rest and relax, trust your body! Listen more to your heart than your head and enjoy every minute of it! Im praying im not far behind you too darlin! You can spy on me as much as you like love! hhehe!

forshelby - sorry to hear of bfn love, our bodies play all sorts of tricks on us. i was positive that i was utd so many times after my m/c, i had every symptom under the sun, every symptom except for a bfp! as hard as it is, try not to get too wrapped up in the symptoms, take one day at a time, you never know whats just around the corner! i guess we have to trust our bodies - and as much as we need to repair emotionally from our loss, our body has to repair physically too! xx

murraycod - oh sweetheart, im so glad you keep us updated! I think about you a lot and hope your ok, your fear and hesitance to celebrate is so understandable! You have been to hell and back, its no wonder you are finding it hard to believe! hang in the darlin, you can do this!!! I know you can! xx

Loops - praying that they are pg symptoms! We need some more bfp's!!

Alice, Dory - how are you gorgeous woman??

A huge HI and HUG to everyone that i have missed, i hope you had a restful weekend!

afm - still feeling tired and sore of course, all very normal im sure! Hoping to get back to work on Tuesday but dont want to push myself b4 im ready so i'll see how i go! I decided im going to start doing Bikram Yoga once im all better! I have heard great things about it and starting to think that its my mind that needs help more than my body! DH is going to come along for a few sessions so it will be fun!

DH (bless my beautiful man)has booked us a 5 night mini holiday on the Gold Coast next month so im really trying to focus on that instead of my temp, cervical mucus and ovulation! Its all becoming too much and i really dont think its healthy for me anymore, im getting far too anxious and depressed so going to take a step back and find myself again.

I read a beautiful quote the other week that has really, really helped me... Ive posted it all over my house so i read it and live by it everyday!

'Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain...'

So thats what im trying to do now.... dance in the rain xx

[Iona Macca]

forshelby - i've just got home and read your post....oh chook, I'm so sorry that you got that result, I don't know what to say especially with all those symptoms. Don't be upset, we still love you and I'm pretty sure your DP does as well and we are here to take the next steps with you and to help you get thru the next couple of days. Sending you all my love sweety xoxox

sorry girls haven't read everyone's posts since forshelby put her post will go back and catch up

[Matthew's Mum]

morning everyone, ionamacca-when are you due to test?..t-hopes-love the quote,i'll try.glad things went well with your op...forshelby-sorry about bfn,our bodies don't play fair at times...possummagic-great news...mskara-hope the cramps have eased...murraycod-always good to see your avatar come up..damprye-are you still spotting?..sammyp-glad the spotting has stopped....loops12-fingers crossed...reet-has af arrived?..dory-thanks for your updates...kitfaerie-how are you going???afm-having bt's to pinpoint "o",cd13,so hopefully not much longer...

[Loops12]

Possum-magic ~ Thank you. Very excited for you, congratulations and I hope the pregnancy all goes smootly. Stay positive!

Forshelby ~ When I said I read all your posts I meant the ones of late LOL, was it would be a BFP. So sorry it didnt end with a wonderful result. Dont give up and definitely enjoy the wine and a break from all the stress. I will for next time for you. Thanks so much for your wishes although i think im in the same boat. My cycles are normally around 32-35 days but after IVF hormones etc ive been known to have 40-50day cycles - yuck. I think this time though im gunna be around 30 days for some reason. Its amazing how well we get to know our bodies.

T-hopes ~ thanks heaps, I really hope I could be one for a BFP but really dont think its goin to be me. What a wonderful DH you have, enjoy your holiday and dancin in the rain

Matthewsmum ~ thank you. All the best with pinpointing O day - hopefully soon and enjoy the BD'ing. GL!

Hi to all and sending lots of

[dory]

Forshelby - sorry sweetie. Those sneaky symptoms were looking mightly impressive. Seems like ole AF might be a doosy this time? Hopefully that means a nice thick lining for June....

T- Hopes - I love that quote, it's one of my favourites. And you know, sometimes I actually go out and physically dance in the rain. It is so liberating, and at this time of the year a wee bit cold, but a warm shower/bath is always such an indulgence. Besides, dancing in the rain at the beach if perfectly acceptable. Enjoy that mini break.

Mathew'smum - good luck with your dates. Hope you get it.... I have everything crossed for you.

Ionna - good luck in the 2ww - not long to go now.

Loops - god to hear from you!

MsKara - I am like you, I am very inconsistent with recording. I have just had my best effort ever, more than 6 months with only a few days missed. The glory must have gone to my head, as I have missed about 2 weeks straight now. I blame the cat for slurping on the thermometer. Even though I have washed it and disinfected it, I think I need to do it again for my peace of mind. I only remember I haven't washed it again, in the morning and there's no point getting up to wash it then take my temp! Hmm - thanks for inspiring me - I will wash it again after I finish this post.

Murray - sweetie, I reckon I know how you feel, I still feel that way to some extent but I vividly remember feeling as you describe. I thought I would be so thoroughly excited but excitement is hard to come by after our journey's. I decided that it wouldn't just happen by itself so I had to practice it, and get myself into the habit of being excited. Although the lack of forced excitement is almost an antithesis of my definition of excitement. But I also thought, after I've been through such a tough journey, it's ok to reshape some of those perceptions and definitions. I have spent a long time just waiting for everything to be taken away again, but the intensity of that fear waxes and wanes but was really the strongest at the early stages. I know not everyone can, but I also decided to practice being thankful for every day. It didn't mean I wasn't still absolutely petrified and miserable most of the time in the early days, but what it did do, even in those early dark dark days, was allowed me some mental space to start to "enjoy" or "love" or "relish" the experience. I decided, whatever the outcome, I wanted to love the baby and the pregnancy for as long as I was lucky enough to have them. I honestly believe I have been given the most amazing blessing and I need to take hold of that with both hands. I decided that the only thing that I had any control over was how I looked at things and how I chose to perceive them. And you know what's amazing, I think all that practice and just taking a little bit of quiet time each day to be thankful for all of the blessings in my life, has worked. I honestly and truly thought I would be out of my mind the whole time, and I realised the other day, that I am not. I am sometimes, but I have not gone around the twist like I expected to. Even the Obstetrician and some of my friends have commented on my state of mind, and that of course then helps me in my quest. It's not an easy journey, and it's lonely and scary and frightening and so uncertain and I have found that in addition to the old fears, there are so many new ones. But I am so lucky, you know? I have a wonderfully imperfect DH, 3 amazing fur babies, and lots of other good things in my life which are too numerous to list out here. It's not perfect, but I am not really sure there is such a thing. But I know you will find your own way. I just hope maybe you can find a way that helps you find some peace..... Sorry if I went on a bit, but this thought process was and is really important to me and how I am travelling. I just wish the same for you, is all, and I think by waffling that I can help you.

[damprye]

A quick Q for those that temp, you are supposed to do it oraly right??? Or am I wrong and is it just as bad as the rest of the TTC we have to go through to have our precious ones???

[forshelby]

T-Hopes - Thanks for your thoughts.

Loops - I really hope you don't end up with a 50 day cycle, that sounds like torture! And it's true we do get to know our bodies. I feel like I have a better understanding already. 1. DON'T TRUST WHAT IT TELLS ME! lol..

Dory - Are you psychic or something? You're so right. This AF is a doosy alright. I forgot the difference between a pill withdrawal and a real af. Oh the humanity! Panadol does nothing, and I feel like crap in general. Woke up this morning to the worst mess.... LOL, sorry for the TMI, but I thought to myself 'oh, now I remember'. I sure hope she leaves the building as swiftly as she entered, and also looking forward to a nice thick lining also. (Lol, what a thing to hope for) And your words are just beautiful. I love the attitude, of being thankful for every day, and just loving this baby for however long you get to keep it. Be it just a little while (I hope not!) or forever. I guess none of us ever know what life has planned for us, and the important thing is just to handle whatever we get with dignity and strength. You are definitely the embodiment of those two things. Keep up the good work! I dare say you're inspiring many with your ways.

Matthews Mum - Good luck with your BT's! I hope you catch that eggie this month.

Iona - Nearly there, hun... yay! I may not post very much for the next couple of weeks, I need to just take it easy. But I will definitely be lurking around to see how you go. Thanks for your sympathy,too. Though I still feel like a goose for hoping for it to happen so fast. I need to learn patience. It was probably better to have a real AF before getting pg anyway, so I'm focussing on that.

AFM, cd1. Ugh. I'm going to take a page out of the 'book of Dory' and just be thankful for such a "perfect" cycle length, and being back to normal so fast. I'm not thankful for cramps and backpain though.... Hey, I'm allowed to hate some parts while being thankful, right? Now THAT'S balance.

Apologies to anyone I missed.

[Iona Macca]

A quick Q for those that temp, you are supposed to do it oraly right??? Or am I wrong and is it just as bad as the rest of the TTC we have to go through to have our precious ones???

damprye - you can do it either way - orally or down below....alot of people do it orally

oh forshelby, so sorry to hear she reared her head!! You take your time sweety, but don't go too far as I'll miss you...xoxox

hi to everyone else, sorry feeling a lil blur, just went and laid down for a lil while as I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and if it wasn't for DS coming in and waking me up after maybe an hour, I probably could of slept all night

[T-hopes]

dampre - i take temp orally, never done it the vag way! Scares me!

[damprye]

Ok awesome, I was kinda scared of doing it the other way too lol. I was adding tags to my chart and it came up with that and thought maybe I was doing it wrong so that is a HUGE relief. I don't think I would really be wanting to put that there lol.

Forshelby- I am so sorry that this wasn't the month. Thumbs up for your attitude though, I know it is hard.

[Reet]

T-hopes- Oh im so glad that u know whats going on with ur body now.. lets hope u are utd very very soon! When are u expecting af to arrive?? Were dh's little spermies all good?? Hope so! and i LOVE ur quote.. i am going to have to drum it into my head when im feeling down.. like now!

Iona- Oh ur tiredness is a huge symptom i reckon! that little emby is taking up all ur energy digging and snuggling in!! Oh i cant wait til u test!!

Damprye- Golly gosh temping seems diffifult! i dont think i ever want to do it! Sorry to hear ur body is still playing games with u. Maybe u shld see a gyno and get some answers??

MsKara- Im jumping on ur bandwagon and getting healthy this month too! Like u said it cant hurt! Good luck with ur exercise etc. I hope af has settled down since yesterday for u. Im glad u didnt have to go on provera.. it messed with my body when i had to have it last month and still waiting now for it to sort itself out! Pls send me some of ur 'flow'!

Forshelby- Sorry to hear about ur bfn u are very lucky u have a 28 day cycle tho.. perfect! Im hoping af comes very soon for me too then we will be able to be pretty close cycle buddies! How did dp feel when he found out af had arrived?? hey did u ever tell him about ur little secret.. all the opks etc..??? haha i remember when u werent even going to worry bout getting them.. u were just going to go with the flow.. well hasnt that changed now! i think u have become crazy like the rest of us!! haha

Murraycod- Oh im so happy that ur little bub is doing so well.. and u too. I think its normal to feel scared.. i hope it settles down a bit once u see ur gorgeous little baby on the 22nd. You truly are an inspiration. I am so happy for u.. u have worked so hard for this.. u truly deserve for this to be a happy, healthy and carefree pregnancy. xxx

Loops- Oh i hope u get that bfp!! keep us posted!! did u end up selling tractor?? hopefully the extra $ wont be needed for ivf though! Good luck!

Possum- Oh i am so so so happy for u! congratulations on that 2nd line for the 2nd time!! yay!!! i can so imagine ur excitement and happiness!! when do u think u will book first drs appointment??

Matthew mum- Hopefully o day isnt too far away! have lots of fun bd'ing!!!!! hope ur dh is ready for u!!!

AFM- Well i am still waiting for AF.. its so frustrating. I have started exercising today though..trying to get things moving hopefully! Pumping the maca too. If af hasnt arrived by wed i am going to get bt done to check progesterone levels.. i am so hoping she arrives in the next 2 days or when i get bts done progesterone is high and af wont be too far away. If levels are low i really dont know what ill do cos i dont want to have to take provera again, it made my body go crazy! i cant believe i havent had a cycle since m/c in feb.. except for when i took provera and it made me randomly bleed when i was meant to be ovulating. BODY CAN U PLEASE START BEING NICE TO ME!!!!!

xxx

[Reet]

We havent had any newbies lately... any lurkers out there???? Ur more then welcome to come and be a part of this craziness!!!! haha

[Matthew's Mum]

loops12-i'm doing a fet,so i'm not sure about b'ding...damprye-i've never heard of taking it vaginally(they say you learn something new everyday)...forshelby-sorry the panadol aren't helping much ,have you tried naprogesic?i've caught the egg,it's was put in the freezer after my ivf stim cycle in April,hoping it defrosts okay...dory-love reading your posts....reet-my dh gets off easy this month,bt's sounds like a good idea...ionamacca-what cycle day are you on?...

[trea]

Hi to all - so much going on so hard to do persies but hugs to all for whom this was not the month and GL to those still waiting.

Great quote T Hopes.

Here's my fave which I found last year during a time which was hellish on the TTC path - "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow"

Every woman (and our men/partners) out there have the most amazing amount of COURAGE.

Cheers Trea

[angelfish]

Reet i will take you up on your invite. I have been a lurker for a while. I had a missed misscarrage on april 1st and this thread has helped me so much.

[MsKara]

dampyre Thanks hun. I've been tested twice now for PCOS but they haven't found anything via ultrasound. Are you still spotting? That's such a pain!!

Loops for you!!

Possum Yay for a darker 2nd line!!! Relax and enjoy

forshelby omg I wish I'd known about toothpaste!! I've been dying my almost elbow length hair black for the past 10 years and that little pearl could have come in handy many times over lol! I decided just after my m/c to go natural (blonde). So far... hmm... i'm still getting used to it. I'm glad you're feeling better I hope AF isn't too harsh on you!

Matthew's mum thank you!

dory LOL at the cat slurping yours! I remember once our 2 thermometers somehow got put in the same place, and I couldn't remember which was the dogs and which was mine I decided to buy myself a new one and they are now labeled!!! lol

Reet AF suddenly took a leave of absence today, so I hope she has made her way to yours lol. Actually, I can't hope that... she was a massive pain in the gut this month and I couldn't wish that one anyone . Here's to getting our bodies back on track!

trea that is a great quote!

AFM I'm feeling a whole heap better today. The weekend was a tough one again. I had a self pity sob on friday night, then went to visit my friend's new baby on saturday while I was feeling at my worst with cramps, headache and backpain. TBH the thing that got me past it was Reet's signature quote. I need to let go of that dream, accept that it didn't end up the way I'd hoped and let myself make room for the next dream to come So thank you Reet!

Oh, and I've decided to join some of you wacky ladies and start temping again.

Quick question for all of you - do you share this TTC process with your partners/hubby/significant other? I've been charting, and I bought some OPK's, but I've been keeping it to myself because I don't want DH to feel pressured/upset if we don't get the results we want straight away. I figured I'd just... ermm... get him in the mood when it was O time lol