Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss November 08

[Indy]

Hello all,
Thinking of you and and thanking you for all your kind words and thoughts. Well, my Dr was very nice on Friday, very sympathetic, and gave me an immediate refferal to a guy who he believes to be good, so we'll see what happens. I tried to make an appointment on Friday, but too much to expect for a specialists office to be open on a Fri afternoon
So we will see...
Have thrown myself into Christmas prep to forget what has been happening, DH has been wonderful and so have all your thoughts. Thinking of you all, and think it is pretty sucky that any of us have to go through this. I'm going to be pretty quiet for a bit I think, gone from angry to sad now, and need to get to the place where I can say 'third time lucky' and start looking forward again. Maybe after seeing the FS.
Take care all,
Indy

[MaternalBride]

Can I please join?

We are TTC our first baby after a missed miscarriage early October this year (we were due mid-March 09). This is our second cycle and I'm 2 DPO... I'm finding TTC after our loss so difficult and different. I feel like I'm merely existing until I am pregnant again and I feel like it's going to be forever until we're holding our baby in our arms.

[Mel1979]

Hi Maternal Bride - I am so sorry for your loss. As much as I wish you didn't have to be here we welcome everyone and hope we can offer hope and support on your TTC journey.

You will find the ladies here are just wonderful. I only joined in October and I am not sure how I would've gotten through the last couple of months without all of them and my fantastic DH of course.

Every one of us on this thread understands what you have been and are going through and I think (and hope) you will find it comforting to be able to share your fears and feelings throughout your TTC journey.

Best of luck and I hope your stay here is short.

[MaternalBride]

Thank you so much. I really hope that I can help in some small way too.

I'll just share a snapshot of my story - I was 13.5 weeks when I found out we had lost our son (he had passed away around 11.5 weeks) but my body had continued to grow and my placenta and amniotic fluid was as if I was still 13.5 weeks pregnant. I waited to miscarry naturally and birthed his body intact within his membranes after an 8 hour labouring process (I birthed the placenta an hour later which was the hardest part). He was tiny and perfect and it was so difficult (both physically and emotionally) but the most beautiful ending to a heartbreaking situation. We miscarried the day after our wedding (hence the name Maternal Bride) when I would have been 16.5 weeks.

Everyone seems so lovely and I look forward to getting to know you all better but hope we're all out of here sooner rather than later. Although I wish we weren't in this situation, I feel really lucky to have people who understand how hard TTC after loss can be to share this with.

I'm due to test on Christmas Day so I really hope we get good news.

[plc1805]

I feel like I'm merely existing until I am pregnant again and I feel like it's going to be forever until we're holding our baby in our arms.

I remember that feeling very much - of merely existing until pg again - and that is an excellent way of describing it. Honey, it wasn't forever until I conceived again and I sure do wish the same for you. Big hugs hun - u found the wonderful girls in here and ul get thru this.

[MaternalBride]

I remember that feeling very much - of merely existing until pg again - and that is an excellent way of describing it. Honey, it wasn't forever until I conceived again and I sure do wish the same for you. Big hugs hun - u found the wonderful girls in here and ul get thru this.

Thank you hun... I know it won't be forever but the days are so slow and it's so frustrating living in two week increments.

[Zachary's Mom]

Welcome Maternal bride. This is a wonderful forum with some amazing people. We are TTC and it feels like it will never happen.I lost my baby boy at 35 weeks and 5 days - it willl be 5 months on Christmas Eve - it feels like yesterday and I struggle daily with his loss. I hope you find some comfort here.

Mel1979 - I have been okay today. I think I lost 1kg doing housework and sweating in this heat and humidity - that's the Gold Coast for you. The tonight I went to pieces again. I just sobbed and sobbed at not being able to hold my boy and celebrate Christmas. I never quite realised this would be so hard.

jen805 - thanks for your support. I am not coping very well at the moment and I feel like I have taken a few steps backwards. I just wish it didn't hurt so much...

Take care everyone xxxx

[smilanatu]

mumsthe word...thank you! We feel so blessed! I've got my fingers crossed for your TWW

jen...Hey Gurlie! It still feels so very surreal to me...my only symptoms are no AF and peeing around the clock...I wish for m/s and sore boobs! LOL...seriously

Mel...I am praying for your sake the Lupus results are in your favor...I am happy to oblige hope anytime *wink* I actually had no problems getting or staying pregnant until the last 5 or 6 years...maybe because I'm older...

Alrighty ladies I am about to lie down and watch some football...enjoy your day!

[Where there's hope]

Zachary's Mum - I am sorry for your heartbreak PLC has summed everything up so well. And looking at her ticker is a great help to me.

Maternal Bride - What a difficult time you have had. From the elation of your wedding day to the loss of your child. You are very strong and brave to have given birth naturally like that. I hope we can help you here and look forward to seeing a BFP in your signature sometime soon.

Mel - I know exactly how you feel. Everywhere I go I see lovely big bellies or hear a newborn crying. There is just no escaping it. I just tell myself it will be my turn again soon. Can't wait for the stretchmarks, backache and MS!

Indy - look after yourself. Understand you needing some time out. Hope you have a lovely Christmas

MumsTheWord - I have had a positive BT as early as 9dpo and HPT as early as 12/13 dpo (verrrrry faint). In the latter the test was mean't to be very sensitive at 25 units, yet the BT that day revealed I was something like 131! Problem I have found with FF is that for the first couple of cycles it makes you test late at something like 18 dpo until it understands your cycle. Have you been using FF for long?

Jen - Glad you got the pizza. Perhaps see if dropping my name will get you in the movies for free next time? BTW I voted for my favourite mod today. But if there was a category for "prettiest and most thoughtful and inclusive posts" you would get my vote

Smi and PLC -

AFM - I cannot believe the weekend is already over but have certainly worked off a kilo or two. After three months of IVF, I almost forgot the way that regular people made babies. But it all came back to me...

[MaternalBride]

Thank you "where's the hope"

I completely understand what you are all talking about with seeing bellies and new borns at every turn. I get so overwhelmed sometimes and wish I was like everyone else - unaffected by it all. I try to think that some of them could've been through a lot to get to that point and that is somewhat comforting. But it still hurts and it's still hard.

[MaternalBride]

Welcome Maternal bride. This is a wonderful forum with some amazing people. We are TTC and it feels like it will never happen.I lost my baby boy at 35 weeks and 5 days - it willl be 5 months on Christmas Eve - it feels like yesterday and I struggle daily with his loss. I hope you find some comfort here.

Mel1979 - I have been okay today. I think I lost 1kg doing housework and sweating in this heat and humidity - that's the Gold Coast for you. The tonight I went to pieces again. I just sobbed and sobbed at not being able to hold my boy and celebrate Christmas. I never quite realised this would be so hard.

jen805 - thanks for your support. I am not coping very well at the moment and I feel like I have taken a few steps backwards. I just wish it didn't hurt so much...

Take care everyone xxxx

So much love your way. Allow yourself to feel every emotion. Embrace it and cope with each feeling as it comes. It may hurt but it's so valid and real and raw and you are completely allowed to feel the way you are. There's no such thing as steps backwards in grief... it's not logical like that. Each step, whatever that may be, is a step forward - even if you feel like you're going around in circles.

I'm that you get some positive news soon.