The first babies in my angel's old belly buddy group have just been born (Helen's twins, 7 weeks early), and while I am extremely happy for her, I didn't realise how hard it would be for me. I'm so happy to be lucky enough to be pregnant again, but a reminder like this just makes me realise how much I still grieve for my angel. My throat is all choked up, and I'm right on that cliff edge of bawling. I've been trying to tell myself that rather than making my angel's EDD a sad day, I was going to try to make it more about remembering how I felt when I knew there was a baby in my belly for the first time, and focusing on the positives. But I know now that it's going to be very hard not to let the sadness in as well.