Ruthie - darling whatever happens you will be able to deal with it, it might not be ideal but the fact that we are all in here means that we have some experience of what is not ideal and have coped before. You are super strong and we are all here for you.
Melissa - Welcome honey - I am so sorry you find yourself here and for the loss of your three babies and your Dad. God - what a lot of pain you have had. Honey - if you want to whinge for hours, feel freakin' free. It is your right darling. You don't need to go to your SIL's birth honey and I am sure she will understand.
plc - thank you for shaking my tree - was getting a little lonely up there!
Good morning to you lovely Smi xx
AFM - Had another shot of pregnyl this morning and am a little emotional but happy that I am back at work. I miss my darling Murray, he is still in Sydney. Well I am off to get ready to work. Love to you all and hugs till your ribs get sore.
Love
Adele
Dellydo: Tears rolled down my cheeks as I read your reply.... Thank you momma..
I don't feel like I'm strong.. when hubby left this morning Erick came to my bed and snuggled next to me.. as I saw him smiling in his sleep I realized how big he is... he will be 4 on Dec 16th..my preemie son..who ever thought he was so tiny a mere 4 pounds when he came to this earth??? in what seems like yesterday...then I started thinking about this baby... my babies.. how my family would have been complete, 4 children giggling and running around loose in my apartment. I started sobbing. I opened a drawer I have..where in it lies all the little onesies hubby so excited got for me along with some cute baby shoes and socks..that were for this baby.
I had the ultrasound there.. for those who never saw my baby here is the u/s pic..
going back to that day I was 7 weeks..The baby was head down and OMG I saw her move.!! It was more like a little quick jump I guess... I thought I was 6 weeks and my god did I cry that day!! of joy..cried so much the doctor couldn't hold her tears..which had me cry-laughing. that amazing heartbeat of 143 BPM..turned to static that horrible day when I was 11w1d.
this pic was of my belly I that day.. I was a bit bored before hubby picked me up to take me to the u/s place and I decided to take a few pics to show off along with the u/s when I came back...
The day of my D&C ...when the doc was putting the meds to make me sleep in my IV I remember looking down @ my belly and saying "GoodBye baby.. I love you and miss you" then everything went black..when things started to come back.. I felt empty. So empty.. I touched my already sunken belly and just cried and cried and still cry today..and right now I'm crying.
I never thought in the world this was going to happen again I was so confident I had really kicked infertility butt!
But.... all in all.. I want to thank you.. and all my girls here.. for being there for me. You all know what I went through and talking about this.. I found this site where you put your angel baby's info and it has a lit candle for your baby always... mine is at the very bottom and you will see my name in it ( Ruthie..)
Angel baby mommies..if you want put your baby there.... it is very sweet..go to the candle room in the menu to the left and there you will find it
Melissal: Myheart goes out to you..please knwo you are among friends here and I being one of them ♥ As you see I too am in your same shoes.... and everyone's here...and this poem is for you and for all here:
A Pair of Shoes
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don?t hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Momof3boys: You have yourself a friend in me. ♥
Smi: LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU GIRL!!!! ♥ (hugs)
HannahD: Thank you dear friend!! ♥ you!
Last edited by Inanna; October 28th, 2008 at 06:07 PM.
: Links to other forums against BB guidelines
Flowerchild, Angelbabies, KrystieLove and Jen - It was nice to hear your encouragement, but never fear, I have not given up by a long shot I am a very stubborn woman. I figure as long as I have AF (the witch that it is) I have a sporting chance at giving DD a much longed for sibling.
Jen - I think I got the Jonas method mixed up with the Lunar cycles Krystie (?) was talking about a couple of months back. But I did type my details into the calendar. Surprisingly, I o'ed about prior to the best time for conception this cycle. And the risk factor was a beautiful zero. But I have light cramping this AM and feel AF may be on its way. Bugger!
HannahD - I am so proud of you holding the newborn after your recent MC. I still go out of my way to avoid putting myself in that situation. On the one hand I feel selfish, but on the other hand I just don't want to do things that make me potentially miserable. It is wonderful you are moving forward with such positivity!
Mannie - Hip Hip Hooray for your BFP Stick li'l bubba!
Issy - nice to see you. Love your ticker
MegsMum - Happy sniffin', m'dear. I'll be just a few steps behind and right beside you along the way.
Babymiracles - good luck with your new IVF cycle.
Mel and Dellydoo - Sending you both lots of babydust during the 2WW
KrystieLove - I understand how new births are reminders despite time passing or even being PG. It keeps happening at my DD's playgroup. Seems everyone (who is in a releationship) has now had No.2. Some are even contemplating No.3. So happy you are now 11 weeks - nearly at that 1st Trimester milestone. Not far to go now, hon
Mummy of 3 boys - I am so sorry to read things have been so difficult.
AJC - that was a beautiful story about the bear. Your new bubba will love that bear and you can hold them both. Sending you some cheery - you must be absolutely blossoming now.
Ruthie - Hi there. Good luck with the new specialist.
Smi - Great news about your Marching Band
Melissa - I am sure I can speak on behalf of the wonderful ladies here and say: "sorry you have to be here, but we are here for you and we hope your stay is a very short one". I hope the birth goes well for your SIL but understand how difficult the idea of supporting her through it must be for you. Personally, I think it is a little inappropriate, even selfish, to ask you to be there. It has only been a few months. Glad the herbal concoctions are making you feel well and wish you the best in your TTC journey.
AFM - mild AF cramps this morning. Perfectly fine about it as we will be allowed to start our Orgulaltron (Orangutan, for you Krystie ) cycle immediately. Bring it on!
WTH: Thank you!!! I know it will happen one day..... we both are trying for #2???... Well if so I'm right there with ya..most of my friends are expecting #2 or 3 or 4.. I know it's not a race..and now maybe 2 will be enough for me..(maybe) ... hehe I just LOVE pregnancy.. I wish I was like hubbys grandma..she popped 16 actually no she popped 18 and 2 died!!!!!!!! talk about FOREVER PREGNANT???
BBWWAHAHAAAHAHHAHA!!! Gosh needed to laugh..I was crying on my last post...
(catching breath...) Girl we will BOTH get though this..pinky promise!!!! All of us will....
Hey girls I have been moving into my new place with DH so that's why I have been gone and have not posted ... jen WTH ruthie Krystie Rachel Issy Smi and everyone else big I still have not started ttc yet I'm waiting until my bday on the 7th I hope this next one is my forever baby !!!
melissa - i'm glad to see you come out of lurksville hun. you've come to a wonderful network of support here my friend. pls let me know if i can help any further with anything. big big hugs....
toccara - uve been gone but certainly not forgotten - best of everything to you sweet.
Smilinatu, Dellydoo, Hannah, Wherethereshope - thank you so much for the warm welcome . I feel like so many of my friends must be thinking, here she goes again when I start my tirade yet again so it will be so nice talking to people who genuinely understand
Ruthie - 0h hun, that poem brought tears to my eyes. Huge , can't wait for the day where we all see our sticky little bub with a perfect little heartbeat up on that screen. Holy cow, 18 babies - WOW!!!! Yeah, I've only been pg for a sum total of about 17 weeks but, aside from the worry, I loved it and can't wait to be so again.
WTH - yeah, I have had that thought about SIL. I know the mature thing to do would be come straight out with how I feel, but then there is another little part of me that thinks why can she not stop and think just for a sec how hard this is for DH and I
Tocarra - what an awesome b'day pressie that would be - the start fo a nice sticky cycle
Thank you momma..
I am a very stubborn woman. I figure as long as I have AF (the witch that it is) I have a sporting chance at giving DD a much longed for sibling. 
Stick li'l bubba!
- you must be absolutely blossoming now.
I am sure I can speak on behalf of the wonderful ladies here and say: "sorry you have to be here, but we are here for you and we hope your stay is a very short one". I hope the birth goes well for your SIL but understand how difficult the idea of supporting her through it must be for you. Personally, I think it is a little inappropriate, even selfish, to ask you to be there. It has only been a few months. Glad the herbal concoctions are making you feel well and wish you the best in your TTC journey.
) cycle immediately. Bring it on!
and 2 died!!!!!!!!
talk about FOREVER PREGNANT???
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