Hi lovely ladies! I too must admit I'm guilty of being a dirty rotten lurker lately. Have been checking in almost constanlty but nothing to report so staying quiet.
Princess and Dutchy: So sorry you have to be here hons, but the ladies are wonderful and everyone is so supportive. Here's to a very speedy TTC for you!!
Jen: It's so strange when you're quiet. Freaks me out!! Sheesh. Call me dependant! :P Hope everything is all good, hon! Big your way
Mel: I hope everything goes wonderfully with the FS and that you get some answers! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!
All the other lovely ladies who I haven't mentioned: I'm thinking of you all and sending big and loads of babydust your way!!
AFM: Have our scan in under 2 weeks now and am really starting to freak out. I'm sure everything will be fine, but my stupid brain keeps coming up with worst case scenarios. Stupid brain. I've been getting a few kicks (a lot in the direction of my bladder) and have been ridiculously out of breath. My dear mother puts it down to my boobies - which have now swelled from a G to a GG (and I'm not a super huge girl)- putting pressure on my lungs. I'm inclined to agree, but I'll check with the doc when I go. Had awful tummy pain today and panicked a bit but by the way I've been, um, gassing this evening I'm going to say it was just that. Lovely gas. I'm so darn glamourous at the moment. hehe.
Anyways, nuff about me. Sending you all babydust and sticky vibes.
Dutchy and Princess - a big and a very sad welcome to you both. You have def come to the right place for amazing support - may your stays be short and sticky
Well, yesterday I succumbed to the ugly cry and had a huge meltdown. The day began with a close friend telling me that she was pg in her first month of trying. I am really pleased for them but why do I take so long to get pg - I want to be able to get it right first time. Then I heard my SIL was in labour so I bravely went along to the birth which I was actually ok with . . . until the dr came in to deliver the baby and it was the same one that we'd had with my last m/c. I held it together and had a big hold of my SIL baby girl (1 1/2 hr labour btw) and stayed and talked for a while but by the time DH and I got back to the car, well the floodgates opened and I just couldn't stop, I literally bawled all evening long. So now, after a crap sleep, I am looking incredibly glamerous with big dark circles and nasty wrinkly bags under my eyes and we have a do to go to tonight. At this do, one of DH workmates and wife will be there and they are about 30 weeks pg and he is like a kid in a lolly shop and if he patronises me by telling me it'll happen when the time is right, I will lose it all over again. Why does it have to be so hard. I just want to hide in bed cos then I can't see or hear about anything so it can't hurt any more. I am having the strangest feelings because for me to get a bfp now would be absolutely terrible timing (we have to wait until December to try), I can't help this horrible jealousy. None of my friends really understand what its like cos they haven't been there and I really hate feeling like this - makes me feel like the biggest
b!tch in the world. Anyway, I will stop this ranting and raving but I needed to get it out to people who do actually understand. Thank you for being there and letting me ramble.
Melissa - first of all, well done for holding it together when u visited ur sil and baby - that would have been incredibly hard!!! second, don't try to understand why u are feeling this way - i don't think from my experience there is anything rational about feelings relating to m/c. It is pure emotion. If you are feeling sad, frustrated, alone, unfairly done by - just cry, cry, cry. Those ugly cries are really horrible and one feels totally spent, numb and devoid of energy after them. But one thing they have going for them is that they are an enormous release for emotions that you just don't know what to do with. Your friend tonight has no clue about what the TTC wait is all about if he says "it'll happen when the time is right" - has no concept of the related emotion. He thinks he is saying the right thing but it is just such a general thing to say. The time was right for you years ago emotionally but physically what's the hold up? Not even worth explaining, clarifying with him. Focus on other aspects of the do (if possible) to distract from such conversation. Ramble away hun - the physical answers may not be found for you in this thread but we can sure darn give loads of support emotionally so that day to day you can get by.
Welcome princess85 and Dutchy - you have come to the right place. I hope the support you find is as beneficial as it was for me
I'm with you Mel on that one I hate people telling me that's it's just not your time! What a load of crap - I have three cousins all who have children that they didn't want, all were teenagers and single when they had them and then there is my brother and I, my brother on fertility medication and me who doesn't seem to have found a sticky one yet! Stuff those people - I have taken to the abrupt and quite rude approach, probably not one I would reccomend, but it sure helps me!
I also have a friend who has been trying for nearly two years, that keeps telling me, well at least you can get pregnant! The other night after my second miss I blew up in her face and told her that I would rather have not been pregnant at all than to have lost two babies!
Some people are just insensitve and only think of themselves because they have no empathy so they think what they are saying is the right thing, I say tell them how you feel and then at least you won't have constant reminders. I recently got married in June and since then got asked a million questions, we told everyone there was to tell about the first miss and bang everyone avoids the conversation. Thank god because I really don't want to talk about it now that I have had the second.
I'm a big believer in getting everything out in the open, after all people can only treat you the way they think you are feeling if you are up front and honest (not rude like me) then they hopefully will back off. It's that good old saying of you never know what you've got until you miss it, if they were in our shoes I bet they would be breaking every two seconds and not dealing with it as bravely and as well as what we are! Enjoy tonight, have fun, make the most of life. Because as my good old Mum always tells me good things come to those who wait, you don't want to know what I say back though !
Melissal: Aawwww..... It's all bittersweet. Your SIL and babies ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! I know what you mean and feel your every single word. ( to me it seems like THE WORLD is pregnant or having babies) except me.
As I have said here before I had a Due Date Buddy and she sends me pics of her belly and u/s pics often.. last night she found out what she is having ( a girl) and hubby glanced at the Computer screen and asked who is that??. Then he noticed I was crying and said... " Aaww I know how you feel.. but you have to stop being jealous"...
ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME???...
Why would my husband say something like that to me??.. I know it''s true..but that was not what I needed to hear!! ok now I'm laughing cuz one of this smiliy looks just like me on that moment.. this one..
BBWWWAAHAHAHAH!!!
Ok sorry... yes I'm NUTS!!.. you should know the from the start!!!
TO ALL MY GIRLIES HERE....
hubby got me the HPTs today so I am POASing tomorrow.. like you a BFP right now would be BAD TIMING!!!! I want to TTC on Jan 2009 but I need to POAS.. I have not had AF since my D&C on 9/12.
Let's see. OMG a BFP will be so not good right now.
Blah!!
We are all here for you !!!
Duchy, Plc: Sending you girls HUGE HUGS!!!! ♥
I will update tomorrow ASAP after POASING ++ or NEG.
Hi Ruthie, I just wanted to quickly mention that it might be a good idea to get a couple of quantitative hcg blood tests done instead of poas. I'd hate for you to get a positive on the hpt, only to find out that it was because your body still had hcg left over from your last pregnancy. At least by getting two BT's done you would know for sure whether the hcg was rising or falling.
Good luck.
Hi to everyone else. Special hugs for those of you feeling down
goodluck Ruthie...I'm thinking of you ..just been lurking lately as trying to get over the last m/c in my own way, but I am drawn to this thread.
Hi princess and Dutchy and Melissa, its a real **** you have to be in this situation like the rest of us, I do so hope your stay is short and get a sticky bean soon. And as Ruthie said its like the whole world is pregnant at the moment and your not.....just got to keep your spirits up and know that it will happen not in our time but on God's time, so we've got to roll with the punches and try and be happy for these people who have been lucky enough to fall pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy because thats what we all hope for in the end.
Thought about my first bub this morning and how lovely it would've been to have the big belly and could've felt my baby kicking...oh well i'll have to wait til I get to heaven to meet him/her.
Krystie and Tut and Jenushka lots of belly rubs to you...
Have a great weekend ladies and as monty python always says....(singing) always look on the bright side of life....yes Im a little quirky too....hugs and hugs and hugs to all you ttcing and all those who have lost recently.....xxx Mannie
your way
- I want to be able to get it right first time. Then I heard my SIL was in labour so I bravely went along to the birth which I was actually ok with . . . until the dr came in to deliver the baby and it was the same one that we'd had with my last m/c. I held it together and had a big hold of my SIL baby girl (1 1/2 hr labour btw) and stayed and talked for a while but by the time DH and I got back to the car, well the floodgates opened and I just couldn't stop, I literally bawled all evening long. So now, after a crap sleep, I am looking incredibly glamerous with big dark circles and nasty wrinkly bags under my eyes and we have a do to go to tonight. At this do, one of DH workmates and wife will be there and they are about 30 weeks pg and he is like a kid in a lolly shop and if he patronises me by telling me it'll happen when the time is right, I will lose it all over again. Why does it have to be so hard. I just want to hide in bed cos then I can't see or hear about anything so it can't hurt any more. I am having the strangest feelings because for me to get a bfp now would be absolutely terrible timing (we have to wait until December to try), I can't help this horrible jealousy. None of my friends really understand what its like cos they haven't been there and I really hate feeling like this - makes me feel like the biggest 
!
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