Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss October '08 #2

Ruthie - you helped me while I was down now its my turn....can you not visit your doctor and get him to do a blood test? maybe you are pregnant???. The human body is a miraculous thing and take a few deep breaths to remember that, I know I have had to do that recently. Your too good a person not have your forever baby so keep the dream alive and try not to get down about it.

My OB called me today and advised me to wait a month before trying again, that the levels were very low and not promising and the bleeding meant that I was in such early stages they deem it a chemical pregnancy (whatever! still a pregnancy!!) anyway he told me that he thinks that there is no underlying problem however to take 100mg aspirin once we begin trying again and to keep taking it while pregnant he said its very common for women my age to be clotting and thats why the baby may not stick....anyway will give it a go...if the 3rd pregnancy fails then he will send me for a full range of blood tests.

Am doing ok today at least I won $20 in the Melbourne Cup so something to be smiling about.

Jen - thinking of you in your 2WW!!

Goodluck Rach

joey, fifi, larz, pbstar, tina, plc, AJC, Katiegirl, Rachel S, and Leyza,dellydoo, Melissa, Tam anneebee, Emmykate, babymiracles, joni, missbec, Milla, Indy, babyonboard, mumma&bubba,Angelbabies and Flowerchild...thanks for your thoughts and prayers and hope to hear good news from you all soon....

Mannie - hi there sweetie, how are you doing? Big big :hug: to you. I really do wonder why some ob are in their line of work. So what if they only consider it a chemo pg - it was still your baby and it doesn't make it any easier. My first mc was molar and at my first followup appointment (about 2 weeks after) the dr I saw made some callous comment about viability and I started to cry, then she had the gall to ask what she'd said to upset me :wtf:? Hoping you are doing ok though.
Ruthie - :hug: to you too sweetie. I agree with Mannie, can you go get a BT to see whats going on? You WILL have a healthy baby in your arms, your body has already shown you that it is capable and when you do, it will be all the sweeter. Sounds cheesy but happy thoughts hun and believe in the power of prayer.
Milla - YAY for the yucky herbs!! I have started them too and for the first time almost forever I have o-ed CD15 - WOOHOO!!!
Jen - how u doing hun?
Rach - boo for the crazy cycles however after both my m/c it took a good four - five months for my cycles to get more normal. It is really really frustrating not knowing when to expect the eggie BUT in your favour, you know that you are ovulating. V annyoing though
Mel - soundingg very promising - :bluedust::pink-babydust:
NOt much happening here just the very exciting news of o-ing CD15 which makes a change from CD24 or CD18 or CD27!!!!! Anyone have any luck at Melbourne Cup - was anyone lucky enough to go? Have a great night girls!

Jen, Flowerchild, Melissa, Mannie :grouphug: ♥THANK YOU ♥
I just wanted AF to come.. about being preggo.. I just don't know... hubby gets paid tomorrow so maybe I might test one last time.. if I get nothing I will call to make an appointment for next week or whenever they can fit me in. I'm just waiting for hubby to get the Health Insurance cards so I can call the doctor. Their website say they take the HI hubby has so that's really good news. It is a Fertility Center. I just can't wait!! Maybe they can give me Provera to start my period. And if.. (I doubt it) if I'm pregnant ( I really really doubt it) I can get meds???

Thank you all for comforting me.. I have been so freaking down for the past few days!! GGRR

On a happier note.. I still have a chance to have a 2009 baby.. if I TTC on Jan I will have a Sept. baby...Feb- Oct baby.. and so on.. so I have till April ( my Due date) :redface: to see if this dream will come true.

I love you girls. Thank you so much for your comforting words!!!! I wish youknew how much it means to me!!:loveshower:


Milla: Send that B***c my way! 1I need AF!!! Good luck to you momma.


I posted this in my blog today ( It is long) Just thought I would share. Its basically what happened to me (sorry if it's repetitive), were I am right now.. and what my plans are.)
It is very detailed on what I went through, maybe many can relate.

Sorry if it's long you don't have to read it if yo don't want to.. I just wanted to share. (It's copied pasted from my blog)


I just wanted to let it our here...
please bear with me......

Well as many of you know I suffered my 3rd miscarriage on Sept. 11th this year.. it has been super painful, .. I still today cried about it. I'm healing though. Slow but steady. Ok
now.. today has been like 56 days since my D&C (on Sept. 12th)
For those who don't know what it's like.. it was AWFUL!!!...... this is the very first time I talk about my D&C anywhere... ( tears are rolling already)
So that day Sept 11th in the morning (as you can see in one of my albums) I was so excited to get that ultrasound...As I waited for hubby to come pick me up I was bored and snapped a few pics in my webcam before I went. Well like at 8AM I went in to the ultrasound place in Bergenline NJ.
well the tech wouldn't be in till after 9:30.. so I had to wait.. I was the first one and the only one there.. 10AM came and the tech wasn't there yet.. a few pregnant women were in the waiting area with me and all of them chit chatting about their pregnancies and all that.
Well I was called at around 10:30 I think in.. well.. all excited.. the doc did a tummy u/s... her face was blank.. I was like.. "oookkkeeeeyyyy..can I see the screen???".. well she saw my anxiety and she said "you need to drink water your bladder is empty".. ( I was like WTH??.. I felt like peeing...but she said it was empty so I stepped out to drink like 5 cups of water (she said to drink a lot)
Well as I was doing that... She took in another girl.
Well like 15 min passed and the girl came out.. well She called me in.. now she did an vag, u/s and was just poking me with that thing.. ok she asked me how many weeks are you now??.. I said well I should be 11w1d. She stayed quiet (the screen towards her the whole time) then I sensed something was wrong.. she was so silent.. then she put the Doppler and it was just static (so different from the Doppler from my 7 week scan..that beautiful heartbeat)
Well I started sobbing.. I knew.. I'm NOT stupid. it was just static..annoying freaking static.. I asked her is the baby alive??.. And the nurse said.. "I'm sorry hun.. you have a non-viable fetus).. that's it.. I felt this rush come from my toes to my head.. a cold gush.. I felt weak.. I felt just lightheaded.. she was done..As I stood up I peeked at the screen and I saw my baby!!! I saw the silhouette of a tiny body.. my baby had long legs and was just so peaceful.. no movement. :(
so I headed to the bathroom to put on my pants... I managed to put on my pants.. the moment I stepped out of that room.. my knees went weak.. (OMG I'm crying..sorry)
My knees went weak and I just dropped to the ground in front of everyone and just sobbed. I tried to stand up but I don't know what took hold of my knees I couldn't stand up!!! So someone was holding my shoulder.. I don't know who.. I just cried.
Well The time came to call myhusband and my mother in D.R. and I told them my baby had died.
Well I went to the ER with papers to see if I could ave had the D&C ( For those who don't know what it is it's a small surgical procedure to remove the dead baby and surrounding tissue)
Well in the ER after waiting from 11AM to like freaking 5PM.. They finally saw my misery and said.. " Come in tomorrow at 7AM all our operating rooms are full.. all of them.. we can't see you tonight"
Well so I went home.
That night was horrible. I just looked at my belly and just cried and cried. Well the next day came and I was in the hospital at around 6:30 AM.. Franklin took off to leave Erick with a friend of mine for the day.
Well the waiting game again... The doctor was ready but still there was no operating rooms available.. so they told me to wait till around 11AM they were going to squeeze me in for the procedure.
Well yes.. from 6:10 AM to like 12:PM They finally took me in.
I was in the Pre-Op room in these horrible hospital gowns and in a wheelchair just waiting to be called in.
Well the time came.. i signed some papers and I was on the operating table.
Before the anesthesiologist came in I glanced at my belly.. put the hand I had no IV in on my belly and just said " Baby Good bye.. Mommy loves you.. ".. I just cried,.. Well the anesthesia was put on my IV.. and I remember staring at the huge lamp above me and everything went black. :(
Well I dunno how long it lasted.. many say it doesn't take more than 10-15 minutes)
Well I slowly saw a light.. then the room was like out of focus and it slowly became clear and real. It was done.
I felt this sudden emptiness as I realized what had happened. I felt blood.. I felt bad. I felt .. I knew.. I knew.. it was gone. My baby wads no longer part of me. :(
It is the worst thing a mother could experience.
I just have no words for it.

Well as you all have seen time has passed.. I have healed.. I still cry now and then but it's only normal I guess.

Well My worries started when AF still wasn't here.. 40 something days after this procedure.. nothing. My cycles had not returned to normal. A few days ago I started spotting and I swore AF was here.
Well it was just that.. light spotting. for like 3 days.. now it;s gone. And I had no AF.
I do have GREAT news... My husbands Health Insurance covers Fertility treatments and IVF 100%.. I feel like it is God's way of saying "Ruth I heard your prayers.. here is this..."

Even though I won't be trying to have a child just yet.. I'm very confident now that the doctors will know what to target and give me the right meds to get pregnant and stay pregnant. a Perinatologist will be seeing me after pregnancy is achieved to monitor me as a high risk patient. I am scared about getting pregnant again.. most women are after losing prev. a pregnancy. But I have faith in God it will happen for me. I'm still on time to have a 2009 baby.....if I try to conceive on Jan or Feb.. I might be having a Sept or Oct baby. So I might still have a chance. But Rigth now I need to focus on other things before I even think baby.
I'm seeing a doctor maybe in the 3rd week of this month.. not to TTC.... just yet (I have TTC on hold)
I at least want Provera or something so I can get my cycle back. Then in 2009.... maybe Jan or Feb.. don't know yet... I will see the doc. for the real deal.. I have faith in him. I know that this time around.... I will receive the right meds I need to sustain a pregnancy. a viable one.
So I'm here just being quiet.. if you see I don't respond to your messages...
I do try.. but most of the time I just don't want to talk about me..
I'm trying to do whatever to keep my mind off things.
Thank you for reading this blog.. I just felt the need to update on me.. since I haven't for a while. I just haven't felt like talking about me lately.

Thank you once more for taking your time to read this. This is all I have to say for now.. I will update more when I see this doctor. Hoping I get AF naturally but heck.. I know my body all too well.. in 2007 I only had 2 periods. So it looks like my PCOS is back in to gear!

So far there are 4 things to target once I TTC again..
1. My Insulin Resistance ( it messes up your reproductive hormones making it super difficult to be fertile Due to super high levels of insulin and sugar)
Solution: Prescription of Glucophage (Metformin) untill I'm 20 weeks pregant.
2. Annovulation ( inability to ovulate)
Solution: Ovulation inducing drugs.. either Clomid (pill) or Profasi( a shot) among other possible drugs like Ovidrel, Follistim ( A friend of mine had those for an IUI) among others.
3. High Blood pressure ( It was the main reason why I had my son at 34 weeks premature)
Solution: Baby Aspirin or a prescription drug by a cardiologist.
4. Vital hormones after pregnancy is achieved. ( Progesterone)
Solution : Progesterone suppositories or shot

once those 4 things are targeted... my baby dreams will come true. ♥

Wish me luck in 2009.

Hi I've just join and need advice. I had a miscarriage at 5 and a half weeks in August. We decided to try again after one full cycle and nothing. After thinking about it, we thought we would just put it off till next year, but take no precautions. This last weekend I was late, so I tested and got a faint line. I believed I was pregnant, I had all the symptoms tiredness for over a week and felt like vomitting every two mins. Then I woke up this morning and well I guess you can all imagine my disappointment. I thought it surely couldn't happen to me again. Was I pregnant? did I miss again? Should I see my GP? Is there anything I'm doing wrong? My husband is supportive but has no idea.

Hello everyone

Ruthie- thanks for sharing that. I broke down at my terrible scan without a heartbeat too...and found the D &C awfull...I cried then on the table beforehand... sending big hugs to you xx

Dutchy- you arent doing anything wrong sweetie...you might have had a miscarriage again...it happens...life isnt fair, but it's not you doing anything wrong.. and men feel these things differently to women, that's common also.


Jen and Mel thanks for the kind words

hugs and best wishes to everyone else here

Hi everyone,

Sorry, this will be a quick post as I am going out to dinner tonight.

Well, AF arrived - completely uninvited and certainly not welcome. Not sure whether to be angry or just plain devastated.

Since it has been a year since the m/c we are going to the Dr tomorrow to be referred to a fertility specialist for some tests. Have no idea what to expect but at least we will feel like we are being proactive instead of sitting around waiting!

Dutchy - you are doing nothing wrong. If I have learnt one thing in the past 12 months is that our bodies can be so deceiving. I seem to get pg symptoms almost every month and then AF arrives. I wish I could give you the answers but unfortunately I haven't found any on my journey as yet. Best of luck on your TTC journey.

Hope everyone is doing ok,:bluedust::pink-babydust:

:pray: for 2009 babies for all of us. I think this thread is due for some good news!

hey Ruthie - so sad your story, surely the doc could've been more empathetic, but these clinical people are sometimes so cold, its really rare to find a warm OB or Gyno. Most of the nurses are pretty good. I suppose they see this all the time so are complacent about it rather than help us to absorb it and try and be supportive while letting us know the unimaginable has happened.

Im hoping for a 2009 baby too Ruthie!!! I think there are plenty of us around here praying for the same thing :)

Melissa - I agree with you its still my baby regardless if its a chemical pregnancy it sounds so horrible when they call it that...goodluck ttcing

Dutchy - same thing happened to me, I had a positive pregnancy test a couple of days after AF was due, so pregnant right, had the symptomst he vomiting the tender breasts, the nausea, tiredness etc. Had blood tests done and hcg was 26 (bad it was way too low) AF arrived like 7 days late and my pregnancy was no more...its what doctors call a 'chemical pregnancy' so it was a second m/c, baby didn't stick again....so could be what happened to you too. Goodluck with ttcing and hoping you get a stick bub soon too....

got to go airport now and drop off a rep from sydney...also not feeling too good, think Im coming down with the flu yuk!!

HI to all the lovely ladies and sending you lots of babydust....

Ladies,
just a quick hello from me and also a most unwelcome hello from AF who arrived today as well. Grrr. :angry: I was feeling really quite hopeful this cycle and now I have to go home and tell DH who was hassling me to POAS this morning that it is not to be this month.:cry:
Hugs to Milla and Mel, hang in there.
Mannie, I'm so sorry. You are being very brave and as Ruthie says I think there must be some 2009 babies just waiting for us!
Ruthie, such a sad story! You are VERY brave and I'm so glad that all the insurance thing is going to work out for you- the US medical system scares me!!
To everyone else, lots of hugs and :bluedust: :grouphug:
Oh well back to BD (not that that is a bad thing :lol: )
Indy

Thanks for all your support and thoughts - it is helping.

The doc is sending me to a specialist, who he said probably won't see me until I have had 3 misses, but here's hoping that doesn't happen. Husband doesn't understand at all, but he does try hard, yummy chocolates came my way this afternoon.

I have to face work tomorrow, the last time I was off sick was my last mc and I got fifty million questions about whether I was pregnant or not, hopefully this time it won't happen again.

Wishing us all luck!

Hi all

This is a flying visit, just to let you know i had my 16 week midwife app this morning. All ok.

She had a listen to little bub, all is ok. it's like a massive weight has been lifted. she said i prob wont start feeling bub till 18/20 weeks as it's my first, so thats my next milestone.

just thought i would let you know - ALL IS GOOD :dance:

Fifi : :dance: Congrats on hearing your bubba!! I'm so happy everything is going great with you hun!

Duchy: I'm sorry AF knocked on your door.. send that biotch my way!!;) Wishing you the best of luck on this cycle momma!! ♥:goodluck:

Indy, Mannie, Mel, Possums: Thank you ladies. :grouphug: This is my motto right now.. Since 2008 is almost over.. my motto is " Leaving behind the painful past and looking forward to a a happy future".. By that future I mean 2009. every year everyone starts fresh.. I did when 2008 kicked in.. and 2008 gave me my dream.. and took it away. Now we know the reason.. now we know how to get help.. and I'm sure. not only for me.. but for you ladies too...

" May 2009 bring us all our dreams.. our so very wanted and deserved babies. "

I'm POASing this weekend.. for the last time.. "just in case" .. new symptoms have kicked in.. I have nausea in the AM and last night I felt really lightheaded.. just like I did with my angel bubba.. I wish it were in my head.. but since I'm not TTC.. I'm not even stressing.. so all these things have come on their own???
So just in freaking case... ( I'm have just grown weary of all the testing and all that mumbo jumbo.. really....) :rolleyes:
Stupid AF got lost again.. She was so close to my door. GGGRRRRRRRRR(growl)

Jen Jen, Mollycat, Plc, Angel, Larz, Milla, Flowerchild, Issy, Toccarra, Vanaithi, Chappas, WTH, Megsmum, Smi, Krystielove, Rach, Hannah, Tutmae, Dellydoo, Tam, Joey, Pstar, Tina, AJC, Katiegirl, Leyza, Babymiracles
And all the other girlies I missed here (sorry) ......

Where are you??.. Miss you all. ♥
:grouphug:

I'm still here Ruthie - just lurking mostly to see where everyone is and posting if I have anything useful to say. Big hugs to you sweetheart - ur really such a strong chickie!!

Fifi - great to hear that hb isn't it? May you go from strength to strength my dear.

Welcome Duchy - so sorry for your loss - it's just such a terrible thing that can happen and one never thinks it will happen to them. I'm happy you found the girls here and I hope they are as great a support to you as they were to me when I was TTC and still are!!

Melissa - how are you going hun?

Possums, Mel, Mannie, Milla & Indy - hugs to you all girls in support.

Hello and hugs and babydust to my TTC friends - wishing you Christmas BFPs wrapped up in pink and blue tinsel.

To my UTD friends - lots of belly rubs to you all - grow babies grow!!!

Ruthie - I'm still here, just in a really funny mood, spending lots of time lurking, not much posting.

Been really busy with the kids. It's funny how the dynamics of the group have changed with the baby. Not to mention all the extra work....LOL Today's pretty quiet, I only have 3 kids in, (although two of them are pretty noisy/busy). I think we'll go visiting and use up some of that energy.

Fifi - that's beautiful news about your bub. You must have been so excited to hear that heartbeat.

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm alive and thinking of you all! I'm sorry I've been a bit AWOL lately.... just been super busy! Have to work at the school tonight, so will have to work on persies later. Just didn't want you all to think I forgot about you or wasn't thinking of you all! :grouphug: for everyone!!

Hello my lovelies

jen - sounds like you are run off your feet. Don't work too hard - although hopefully that will speed up the TWW for you

Ruthie - hang in there sweetie and go and have a blood test soon ok :hug:

fificlaire - glad everything is ok - wishing you a smooth sailing pregnancy from here

Indy and Mel and milla- damn that AF witch - so sorry to hear that she arrived. :pray: for a 2009 baby for all of us!

Mannie :hug: have been thinking of you and hope you are doing okay

Dutchy:welcome: I am so sorry for your losses. Never feel that a m/c is your fault. It is so easy to blame ourselves but there is really nothing any of us could have done to prevent what we have gone through.

To all the other beautiful women on this thread :grouphug:

HEY - I have noticed that there are quite a few of us on this thread that are 37! :p So big cheer for 37 and wishing us all a baby before we turn 39!

AFM: Still waiting for FET. Had first blood test on tuesday and they said nothing much is happening yet and definately not ovulating. So next blood test is tomorrow - fingers crossed will start to see signs of ovulating. Once I ovulate I think they will put in frostie five days later. :pray: for success. At my age stats show 20% success rate with FET - not great but just hope I am one of the lucky 1 in 5. Will keep you posted. Hey - I know some of you have had a FET - are you advised to avoid trying naturally once they know you ovulate. I was thinking might be good to try naturally as well to increase chance of success? Would love your thoughts.

Baby miracles, Jen, Mollycat, Plc: :grouphug: I'm glad you are all ok overall. I feel like being quiet myself. I asked hubby to bring me an HPT today and he forgot. :doh: so I asked him not to forget tomorrow and hopefully I can POAS on Fri.
I sure will post something then. For now I think I will join in the lurking till I have something new to say.

Love you so much girlies :loveshower:.. I just wanted to thank you and all my girlies here SO VERY MUCH for the love and support I have gotten since day 1.

I don't know where I would have been right now without your love, compassion, and support. ♥ THANK YOU ♥

I will be busy this weekend.. my husband has come down with the terrible flu Fall/winter always brings and my son looks like is picking it up too.. and I know for sure I will catch it too... ( blah)

So I see this weekend will be full of chicken soup, lemon tea, over the counter flu remedies and so on.

So in case you all wonder where I have been.. I will be lurking too.... just being quiet. I will let you all know if I POAS on Fri if it was BFP or BFN.. AF still not here. it was a 3 day super light spotting thing and gone. So I'm not counting that as AF. Maybe it was implantation bleeding?.. dunno... let's see.
I will let you all know.

hugs to you all.
Love you s much!

Leaving :bluedust::stickyvibesgirl: and :bellyrubs:

Big Big Hello and Hugs to you all :grouphug:

Fifi - that's wonderful you heard Bub's hb, the best sound in the world!!! 18-20 weeks will be here before you know it.

Have no idea where the days are going to, am on the countdown till I finish work now - only about 6 weeks to go.

Just a quick update from me :)

We had our NT Scan today. It was fantastic! We loved seeing the baby again. It's amazing how much you can already see! The baby's little fingers were just too cute!

Anyway, the important news is that the NT Scan and blood test have determined that the baby's risk of Downs Syndrome is 1 in 7000, and it's risk of Trisomy13 is 1 in 99,000. So we are very happy with that. We were also lucky enough to get a dvd of the scan and a couple of pictures, so I have put the pictures in the gallery.

Always thinking of you all and wishing you all the best! :hug: Huge hugs all around!!!

Milla--Sorry to hear about AF, she's such a witch! *hugs* Great news that the TCM is helping to regulate your cycle, though!



Mannie--Thanks for thinking of me! :hug: I'm so sorry for what you've been going through, hon! You're such a trooper for hanging in there and being supportive when you're feeling so down yourself--you're amazing!



Mellisa--Yay for earlier O! :dance:



Ruthie--Thanks for sharing your blog with us :hug: Good luck with POAS on Friday--thinking of you!



Dutchy--:welcome: So sorry to hear of your m/c in Aug. I pray you find comfort and support here amongst us. :hug: I think it would probably be a good idea to see your dr, especially if you think there's any chance you may have m/c again. It could also just be your body trying to get itself back to normal, sometimes it just takes time. Please remember that you didn't do anything wrong--nothing you could've done would have prevented what happened--and it's so easy to blame ourselves when we don't have the answers! Give yourself the time and space you need to heal--there's no time frame when it comes to grief, you just have to roll with it, and one day soon you'll realize that it's getting easier to face each day.



Possums--Hey, hon, thinking of you! Big *hugs*



Mel & Indy--So sorry to hear about AF's most unwelcome visit! *hugs* Hope the FS can give you the answers you're looking for!



fifi--Congrats on a great 16 week appt! :dance:



plc-- A walking frame! :rofl: No such luck--pretty soon I'll have to throw out the wheelchair and replace it with a gurney! Not that I'm complaining! lol....



mollycat--Sorry to see that biotch made it past my force field again! Big *hugs* for you...



babymiracles--Good luck with your BT and hopeful impending O!! Saying lots of prayers for you, and keeping my fingers crossed!



AJC--6 weeks left? OMG... where has the time gone? I remember when you got your BFP--seems like just yesterday! So happy for you, hon! *hugs*




smi--How's your week going, cycle buddy? It's almost done--tomorrow's Friday! Woot woot!



Krystie--Thanks for sharing the new pics of little Chyan! So happy your scan went well! Miss you much! Hey, do you have MSN so you can meet us for Friday chat? Big hugs and :bellyrubs: *kiss*

Hey Gurlies..I too am guilty of lurking and not posting...

I check in on all of you daily...so even if you don't see me I have more than likely seen you *wink*

I had a terrible sore throat on Tuesday...that was it...no cold no ill feeling just a horrible sore throat it was just a tad sore yesterday and today nothing...thank goodness it didn't turn into a full blown cold or something! I just hate feeling ill (unless it would be morning sickness...at this point I think I'd LOVE it!)

jen...:pray: we :fertilise:...few more days will tell...:noaf:

:grouphug:

:bluedust::pink-babydust:
:stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl:

Hi everyone,

Only got time for a quickie today, have got lots on today :) I just wanted to pop in and say hi! I have been a bit guilty of lurking and not posting too :redface: just want to see how things pan out with this IVF cycle for a bit longer before I post about it. But I am still jabbing and sniffing away.

Anyway big :hug: for everyone especially those who are doing things tough. Hope you all have a lovely weekend.

Hi everyone.
Just wondering if i can join this thread. Here's a little about me.....
I had my 1st m/c at the start of oct 08. I was about 5-6 weeks. I'd only found out i was pregnant 4 days before. To cut a long story short, i had heavy bleeding and clotting so my gyno put me in for surgery and i had a d&c and laproscopy. Its been 4 weeks since it all happened and physically i'm feeling alot better but emotionally i think its really sinking in what happened coz at the time i kept saying to everyone yes i'm fine putting on a brave face when i dont think i was.
Some good came out of it as 2 weeks later my man proposed to me, so we are now engaged!!!
We do want to ttc again soon as we'd love Zac to have a sibling soon but i dont know whats happening with my body as far as AF goes.

Looking forward to getting to know u all

:welcome: Princess. I think I can speak on behalf of all the girls here (and they are all wonderful) in saying, "we are sorry you have to be here". You will find a lot of support and understanding on this thread. You mentioned your AF - has it returned yet? I think the general rule is AF comes 4 to 6 weeks after your D&C. Congratulations :D on your engagement and I wish you the best of luck in creating a sibling for Zac.

Princess85 :welcome:. Sorry that you've had to join us, but you've found a great group of supportive women. Congratulations on your engagement. Hope your stay here is a short one and it won't be long before Zac gets a little brother or sister.

Thank you some much for all your warm welcomes and encouraging words. I have been referred to a specialists and will be seeing them next month. Doc did a blood test and said the hormone levels were low, but yes I must of mc again. He is not supposed refer me until I have had 3 in a row, but has taken the plunge and done it anyway.

My heart goes out to all of you - I never realised that so many people would be going through the same thing.

Best of luck to you all. Here's hoping.

Princess85: :hug::welcome: My heart goes out to you .. ALL of us here know exactly how you feel. We are all here for you ♥
I have received AMAZING Love, compassion and support form all my girlies here since day one. I had mi 3rd miscarriage this past September 11th and had a D&C on the 12th and am still waiting for AF.
Please know that I speak for all here.. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!!

I hope you heal.. I am healing too.. along with many of my friends here. A day, a week, a month...a year.. makes no difference.. a Loss is a loss.. I fell in love with my baby.. and the heartbreak I have gone through three times is something that I don't wish upon anyone.
Hugs to you momma ♥

Ruthie

:welcome: princess 85, I only just joined here a couple of days ago after my second mc and I must say that it has been a great help to me. The girls on here are fantastic and supportive and because we're all going through similar stuff they know how to hit the nail on the head, unlike, unfortunately my very supportive husband (I love him to death, but he has no idea).
:goodluck: with AF, hope it comes soon and you and your new husband to be can make a sticky bub.

Thank you everyone for the warm welcomes. It's good to be able to talk to people that have had similar experiences as i have no one else to talk to. None of my friends or family know exactly what it feels like they can only imagine.
AF hasn't returned. I've never been regular even when i was on the pill. I go back my gyno at the end of the month which will be be my check up 6 weeks after d&c.

Dutchy- i know how u feel my DP tried to be supportive but like urs has no idea. He says i'm here if u wanna talk but he doesn't understand or know what to say. But i gotta give him points for trying.

Hi everyone,

:welcome: Princess. It's shame you have to be here but you've certainly come to the right place for support. I only joined in October and the wonderful ladies on this thread have been my lifeline!

Dutchy - So sorry to hear about your 2nd loss. I hope the specialist can give you some answers. :hug:

Ruthie - I am in awe of your courage and strength. The last 12 months have been the hardest of my life, it has been a constant struggle to cope with one m/c so I don't know how you have coped with 3. I :pray: you have some good news soon.

Mannie - Hope you are healing. :hug:

Hi to Mollycat, Jen, Megsmum, plc1805, WTH and anyone else I have missed!

AFM - Well I made an appointment with the FS today and I got in next Thursday! :dance: I am so happy we don't have to wait very long. Bit nervous about what the tests might sow up but it will be better knowing and doing something about it rather than keeping on trying with no luck.

Better go and make a start on dinner........

Hi lovely ladies! I too must admit I'm guilty of being a dirty rotten lurker lately. Have been checking in almost constanlty but nothing to report so staying quiet.

Princess and Dutchy: So sorry you have to be here hons, but the ladies are wonderful and everyone is so supportive. Here's to a very speedy TTC for you!!

Jen: It's so strange when you're quiet. Freaks me out!! Sheesh. Call me dependant! :P Hope everything is all good, hon! Big :hug: your way

Mel: I hope everything goes wonderfully with the FS and that you get some answers! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

All the other lovely ladies who I haven't mentioned: I'm thinking of you all and sending big :hug: and loads of babydust your way!!

AFM: Have our scan in under 2 weeks now and am really starting to freak out. I'm sure everything will be fine, but my stupid brain keeps coming up with worst case scenarios. Stupid brain. I've been getting a few kicks (a lot in the direction of my bladder) and have been ridiculously out of breath. My dear mother puts it down to my boobies - which have now swelled from a G to a GG (and I'm not a super huge girl)- putting pressure on my lungs. I'm inclined to agree, but I'll check with the doc when I go. Had awful tummy pain today and panicked a bit but by the way I've been, um, gassing this evening I'm going to say it was just that. Lovely gas. I'm so darn glamourous at the moment. hehe.

Anyways, nuff about me. Sending you all babydust and sticky vibes.

xx

Dutchy and Princess - a big :hug: and a very sad welcome to you both. You have def come to the right place for amazing support - may your stays be short and sticky

Well, yesterday I succumbed to the ugly cry and had a huge meltdown. The day began with a close friend telling me that she was pg in her first month of trying. I am really pleased for them but why do I take so long to get pg :cry: - I want to be able to get it right first time. Then I heard my SIL was in labour so I bravely went along to the birth which I was actually ok with . . . until the dr came in to deliver the baby and it was the same one that we'd had with my last m/c. I held it together and had a big hold of my SIL baby girl (1 1/2 hr labour btw) and stayed and talked for a while but by the time DH and I got back to the car, well the floodgates opened and I just couldn't stop, I literally bawled all evening long. So now, after a crap sleep, I am looking incredibly glamerous with big dark circles and nasty wrinkly bags under my eyes and we have a do to go to tonight. At this do, one of DH workmates and wife will be there and they are about 30 weeks pg and he is like a kid in a lolly shop and if he patronises me by telling me it'll happen when the time is right, I will lose it all over again. Why does it have to be so hard. I just want to hide in bed cos then I can't see or hear about anything so it can't hurt any more. I am having the strangest feelings because for me to get a bfp now would be absolutely terrible timing (we have to wait until December to try), I can't help this horrible jealousy. None of my friends really understand what its like cos they haven't been there and I really hate feeling like this - makes me feel like the biggest
b!tch in the world. Anyway, I will stop this ranting and raving but I needed to get it out to people who do actually understand. Thank you for being there and letting me ramble.

Melissa - first of all, well done for holding it together when u visited ur sil and baby - that would have been incredibly hard!!! second, don't try to understand why u are feeling this way - i don't think from my experience there is anything rational about feelings relating to m/c. It is pure emotion. If you are feeling sad, frustrated, alone, unfairly done by - just cry, cry, cry. Those ugly cries are really horrible and one feels totally spent, numb and devoid of energy after them. But one thing they have going for them is that they are an enormous release for emotions that you just don't know what to do with. Your friend tonight has no clue about what the TTC wait is all about if he says "it'll happen when the time is right" - has no concept of the related emotion. He thinks he is saying the right thing but it is just such a general thing to say. The time was right for you years ago emotionally but physically what's the hold up? Not even worth explaining, clarifying with him. Focus on other aspects of the do (if possible) to distract from such conversation. Ramble away hun - the physical answers may not be found for you in this thread but we can sure darn give loads of support emotionally so that day to day you can get by. :hug:

Welcome princess85 and Dutchy - you have come to the right place. I hope the support you find is as beneficial as it was for me :hug:

I'm with you Mel on that one I hate people telling me that's it's just not your time! What a load of crap - I have three cousins all who have children that they didn't want, all were teenagers and single when they had them and then there is my brother and I, my brother on fertility medication and me who doesn't seem to have found a sticky one yet! Stuff those people - I have taken to the abrupt and quite rude approach, probably not one I would reccomend, but it sure helps me!

I also have a friend who has been trying for nearly two years, that keeps telling me, well at least you can get pregnant! The other night after my second miss I blew up in her face and told her that I would rather have not been pregnant at all than to have lost two babies!

Some people are just insensitve and only think of themselves because they have no empathy so they think what they are saying is the right thing, I say tell them how you feel and then at least you won't have constant reminders. I recently got married in June and since then got asked a million questions, we told everyone there was to tell about the first miss and bang everyone avoids the conversation. Thank god because I really don't want to talk about it now that I have had the second.

I'm a big believer in getting everything out in the open, after all people can only treat you the way they think you are feeling if you are up front and honest (not rude like me) then they hopefully will back off. It's that good old saying of you never know what you've got until you miss it, if they were in our shoes I bet they would be breaking every two seconds and not dealing with it as bravely and as well as what we are! Enjoy tonight, have fun, make the most of life. Because as my good old Mum always tells me good things come to those who wait, you don't want to know what I say back though :rolleyes:!

Big :hug:
:goodluck:

Melissal: :hug: Aawwww..... It's all bittersweet. Your SIL and babies ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! I know what you mean and feel your every single word. ( to me it seems like THE WORLD is pregnant or having babies) except me. :wall:
As I have said here before I had a Due Date Buddy and she sends me pics of her belly and u/s pics often.. last night she found out what she is having ( a girl) and hubby glanced at the Computer screen and asked who is that??. Then he noticed I was crying and said... " Aaww I know how you feel.. but you have to stop being jealous"...
ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME???... :jawdrop::pms::angry::wtf:
Why would my husband say something like that to me??.. I know it''s true..but that was not what I needed to hear!! ok now I'm laughing cuz one of this smiliy looks just like me on that moment.. this one.. :pms:

BBWWWAAHAHAHAH!!!
Ok sorry... yes I'm NUTS!!.. you should know the from the start!!!


TO ALL MY GIRLIES HERE....
hubby got me the HPTs today so I am POASing tomorrow.. like you a BFP right now would be BAD TIMING!!!! I want to TTC on Jan 2009 but I need to POAS.. I have not had AF since my D&C on 9/12.

Let's see. OMG a BFP will be so not good right now. :redface:


Blah!!

We are all here for you !!!

Duchy, Plc: Sending you girls HUGE HUGS!!!! ♥

I will update tomorrow ASAP after POASING ++ or NEG.

hugs to all.

Ruthie

Hi Ruthie, I just wanted to quickly mention that it might be a good idea to get a couple of quantitative hcg blood tests done instead of poas. I'd hate for you to get a positive on the hpt, only to find out that it was because your body still had hcg left over from your last pregnancy. At least by getting two BT's done you would know for sure whether the hcg was rising or falling.

Good luck.


Hi to everyone else. Special hugs for those of you feeling down :hug:

Much babydust and stickyvibes for all!! :)

goodluck Ruthie...I'm thinking of you ..just been lurking lately as trying to get over the last m/c in my own way, but I am drawn to this thread.

Hi princess and Dutchy and Melissa, its a real **** you have to be in this situation like the rest of us, I do so hope your stay is short and get a sticky bean soon. And as Ruthie said its like the whole world is pregnant at the moment and your not.....just got to keep your spirits up and know that it will happen not in our time but on God's time, so we've got to roll with the punches and try and be happy for these people who have been lucky enough to fall pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy because thats what we all hope for in the end.

Thought about my first bub this morning and how lovely it would've been to have the big belly and could've felt my baby kicking...oh well i'll have to wait til I get to heaven to meet him/her.

Krystie and Tut and Jenushka lots of belly rubs to you...

Have a great weekend ladies and as monty python always says....(singing) always look on the bright side of life....yes Im a little quirky too....hugs and hugs and hugs to all you ttcing and all those who have lost recently.....xxx Mannie

Mannie - Thank you for the bellyrubs! I hope you are doing ok - I've been thinking of you. Good to see that you are feeling so positive (can't beat a good dose of monty python to bring a smile to the face!) :hug:

Ruthie - it's so great to have you back here encouraging everyone! You were amazing support to me after I lost my second angel in August. I will be hanging out with everyone else to see the results of poas - but Krystie's idea was a good one. Have you thought about getting quantitative hcg bt's? Spose you'll just have to see what poas brings ......

Jen - where are you? Hope everything is ok in Jen-Land. I miss your posts :hug:

Hello to all of the new ladies who have ventured here - I am very sorry to hear of the sad circumstances that have brought you to this thread, but you've probably found out by now what an exceptional amount of care and support is available here. I hope your stay here is a short one, and that you get your sticky bfp very soon :grouphug:

Update on me - had a bit of a scare during the week with some spotting. Was able to get in for another scan the next day thankfully to see little bean doing fine and no clue as to where the bleeding might have been coming from. Haven't had any since :crossfingers:, but getting very close to the 9 week mark where my last two bubs haven't made it much past. Missed m/c can mess with you a bit - cant just rely on my symptoms as a good indicator... Am hoping regular scans (next one is Nov 21) might get me through - could be completely wrong but I still have a pretty good feeling about this Bean. Am working hard on maintaining the Zen of Jen ;)

Have been lurking and reading very regularly - think we must be due for a run of :bfp: very soon...

:bluedust::pink-babydust:

xx

Mannie: I totally forgot you and I were Due Date Buddies :redface: Aaww.. momma.. We both would have been 19w and 2 days??.. (something like that) one week away from finding out... (maybe we would have already I found out Erick's sex at 17w) :(

I hope you are healing.... I am trying to make the most of it all.. even if I still to this day break down to cry. It's just in the process. Hang in there with me sweet momma!!
We are in this together. In 2007 at about this time of the year I was planning out my TTC journey for 2008.. The plan worked... even if it ended this way.

I know we both will have our bundle.. so cheers to 2009.. I know 2009 has a baby (or TWO!!!!) on it's sleeve for us!!!!:pray::D


KrystieLove, Jenushka: My HCG levels dropped to zero a week and a half after my D&C. :redface:
To the point that I (painfully knowing the result) bought a few $ tree HPTs and ALL came back Snow white negative :(

So I know that if I see something it is the real deal. Once you miscarry the latest you could still have some HCG lurking is two weeks later.... it's been close to 2 months now.. no way.
Let's see.. in a few hours I will POAS.. heheehh (well like 9-10 more hours??.. Sorry I sleep in on Saturdays..:p BBWWHAAHAH!!!)

******ssssiiiiiigggghhhhhhhh******

Blah.. let's see what comes up.

I love you both so much and am HONORED to have found you in this thread!!! ♥ :loveshower:

I POASED this AM..... it was a
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.
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BIG FAAAAATTTT NEGATIVE!!!!!!!

Oh well..
I had the usual sinking heart feeling.. but I know it's for the best. I'm not ready (even if I want it so bad)
So Jan 2009 TTCers.. wanna be my buddy????:redface:


hugs to you all ladies. I'm back to being quiet and being a nasty dirty lurker. :redface: till I have anything new to say.

Love you all.. Bellyrubs & sticky vibes for those preggo and Baby - Ovulation-Sticky dust for those TTCing. ♥

Hi All,

Just wanted to pop in and say hi !!!

Have been super busy but have been lurking every now and then.

Any BFP's ?????

Acupuncture and devil water seem to be going ok although DH said yesterday he was putting his foot down and refused to drink his cup last night.

AF is due any day now.... who knows what going to happen - DH really hoping for a BFP so he does not have to keep drinking to devil water.

Thinking of you all daily